To ask what are you supposed to do when a 5 year old hits your 2 year old?

[Arnie123]

A tough one for me as I was raised by a dad who would have literally kicked the shit out of the 5 year old if that had been done to me (and he never got charged by the police but they knocked on our door a lot when I was a kid). However I don't want to ever hit a child so what should I do? We were at the children's play area at our local park and my son had managed to climb up the steps to the top of the slide. This girl who I am guessing was about 5 climbed up the slide itself, meaning my son could not slide down it and then when she got to the top punched my son and shouted "move out the way" as he was obstructing the top entrance to the slide. I shouted at her "do not punch my son or you are going to be in a lot of trouble" half expecting a set of thuggish parents to come over and start a row but parents were nowhere to be seen. She said "he has the top of the slide and is not sharing" to which I replied "you climbed up the slide and blocked it so you are te selfish one and you have now punched a little baby making you a nasty girl" she shut up then. As I was not exactly set a good example growing up I have no idea of how to handle a situation like this. What re you supposed to do?

tbh i think you handled it pretty well.

I dont think I would have said what you said to the girl. She's7u only 5 so still little herself, and many 5 year olds are still learning to share/take turns.
My dc3 gets knocked around at times by his older cousins. It does annoy me and do intervene if I see it happening, however I would never hit them or call them nasty. Children learn from all situations, ds is becoming more assertive as a result. Dh however tells him that other kids hurt him and no adult is around to tell, then it is ok to hit back but never to hit first. I am unsure what to make of his advice really, but nobody wants their kids bullied.

Was she alone in the park? Where were her parents? I think that would probably be a bigger concern to me. Sadly sometimes hitting and lashing out is learned behaviour so the little 5 year old may have other issues going on.

You handled it well. No one is going to sit by and watch their child being hit regardless of how small the one hitting is.
If you had not said anything she would have done it again thinking this is how to behave

Yes very odd there were no parents to be seen but with the rude behaviour she was displaying I thought if the parents would have been there am almighty row would have erupted. Hopefully as my son gets older he will learn if someone throws the first punch they are free range.

I don't think you could have handled it any better, though I would have done my usual loud shout-out to the whole park " Whose daughter is this who has just hit my child? Please come and deal with her."

Ask her sternly where her parents are so you can talk to them. Don't tell little children they are nasty or make threats unless you would like your own son to be treated in that way by someone you do not know.

I know it is hard when bigger children are mean to little children, but even five year olds have only a limited concept of sharing and they can have unrealistic expectations of what smaller children can do. Get someone who knows her to deal with it.

Agree with the other posters. Only thing I would think to do differently is to call her behaviour nasty- not her. But in the heat of the moment I doubt I would have been as calm!

I wouldn't have called her a nasty girl but would have said 'you don't hit, ever'. Where was her parent in all this?? I think I would have wanted to tell the mother what happened.

Children who behave like she did usually have not been raised to have consideration for those around them imo and possibly are hit by older siblings themselves.

Why were you expecting her parents to be thuggish?

I think you were U to call the other little girl nasty, but otherwise I think you did ok. I think lottie's response is very good. I've been known to tell a child that if I see them hitting again I will take them over to their parents to discuss it.

I don't believe that you should be telling any child that they are 'a nasty girl', ever. Nor should you be threatening them with 'a lot of trouble'. You tell them firmly not to hit (or climb up the slide!). Depending on the severity of the action (or if she did it again) you speak to her parents so that they can deal with it.

I don't think calling her nasty was too bad. I would of done the same probably. Hopefully it shocked her you said it.

When you said "if someone throws the first punch they are free-range" is one of the worst thing I've ever read. I hope that isn't your true feelings.

what does it even mean? does it mean they are fair game if they hit you first?

I think YWBU to call her nasty. She's a little girl, maybe even younger than 5.
I just don't believe that is the way to speak to a child, even if you are feeling understandably annoyed and protective.

'free-range'. Like chickens?

No, sorry, I'm going to go against the grain. You don't call little children nasty and shout at them or tell them they'll be in a lot of trouble. What does that even mean?

A far better response would have been to say, very firmly, No. Stop. Do not hit him. If she does it again, look for the parents. If she's on her own at 5 then I think there are bigger issues at play than a baby hitting a slightly smaller baby tbh.

I disagree that the OP was wrong in calling the girl nasty. This was a 5 year old punching a 2 year old! She was nasty, at that age they know it's wrong to punch, my 2 year old knows that. I think the fact that her parents weren't there speaks volumes. If a 5 year old punched my son I would also assume that the parents would be the same, however it wouldn't have stopped me saying something.

I think you handled it well, OP.

You can't brand a child as nasty, IMO.

Beeybump

The first thing I need to do is clarify how I define a thug. I am not referring to the stereotypical type of yob that wanders round in Addidas swigging special brew and shouting fuck off at random strangers although in Salford I have met a number of these. When I say thuggish I mean violent like my dad who was a highly educated professional prior to his retirement. I think violence is a learnt behaviour and as a very young child I got expelled from play group and a number of other places due to my violent behaviour however I was a nasty piece of work because I was getting beaten up with a hockey stick. Children do not randomly become violent bullies they are normally taught violence at home. Anyway that is just my theory feel free to disagree

I regard punching a 2-year-old nasty.

WhereYouLeftIt nasty behaviour maybe, but not a 'nasty child'

Free range is a Salford word for licence to give a good smacking back

I would not have known what to do in that situation at all! I think you did well.

What would you do if a child is just mean to your child, without hitting etc? For instance, just blocking the slide so your dc can't pass, or saying mean things.

I would say something if they were violent but what if they were just saying or doing something mean?

I find it hard to think of something appropriate to say.