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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to want MIL and SIL to stay in a hotel

91 replies

HollieHelen · 02/09/2013 13:58

... and not in the living room of our small 3-bed terrace when they come over to stay for a week??
We have no living area when they're staying and everything gets very tense / claustrophobic.
DH has accused me of being inhospitable (fair comment) BUT I have done some unforgivable things to him this past year and have a lot of making up to do.
Just can't stand the thought of the invasion though ...

OP posts:
Original poster
HollieHelen · 02/09/2013 13:59

should have said all bedrooms are full and DCs don't share as DS is up stupid early and wakes DD.

OP posts:
Makqueen · 02/09/2013 14:04

I have the same problem.

We live in a small flat and my dad always wants to sleep on the sofa, it drives me bonkers and next time I am going to have to tell him to stay elsewhere. We only have a small living room and with his bags etc it's too claustrophobic.

ceebie · 02/09/2013 14:07

How many kids do you have?

We have a 3-bed house (2 doubles, 1 single) and 2 DCs, yet we still manage to fit DSis, BIL, and 2 DN's in the bedrooms. I love having them to stay.

ceebie · 02/09/2013 14:09

meant to say our DS is up early too, so we have him on his own in the smallest room, DD on a mattress on the floor in our room, and guests in other room. Perhaps your rooms are smaller, but we manage to make it work.

Would you pay for them to stay in a local B&B or hotel?

LoganMummy · 02/09/2013 14:11

Could one of the DC not share your room? Would that work?

Personally I'd tell them to book into a B&B if it was for more than one night.

Original poster
HollieHelen · 02/09/2013 14:13

yes I would be happy for us to pay but DH feels that they would feel hurt. We have 2 DCs.
This will sound awful but SIL is terrible houseguest with no hygiene and any room they sleep in needs deep cleaning - wouldn't want to do that to DD!! The bathroom was unrecognisable last time they left.

OP posts:
Original poster
HollieHelen · 02/09/2013 14:14

always more than one night as they come over from France, so at least a week.

OP posts:
Crinkle77 · 02/09/2013 18:51

YANBU. It will also be awkward for them. They won't be able to go to bed until you do and they will get woken up in the mornings.

chrome100 · 02/09/2013 18:53

Hmm...we live in a small flat and always have a host of people crash in the living room. I really don't mind, it's not for long and they are adults so go to bed when we do.

mynewpassion · 02/09/2013 18:54

How bad are these unforgivable things that warrant him to want you to clean messy bathrooms?

TravelinColour · 02/09/2013 18:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

fluffyraggies · 02/09/2013 19:01

There's always loads of threads like this around xmas usually.

''Umpteen members of family want to stay over in our 4ft x 4ft house and i'm dreading it.''

2 types of response, usually 50/50:

  1. YANBU - your house, your rules, point them in the direction of a B&B with a big smile.

  2. Miserable cow! I love having umpteen members of the family squashed into my house and it's only 2ft x 2ft.

Grin
Serialdrinker · 02/09/2013 19:07

I just want to know what bad stuff you've done, sounds juicy!

primroseyellow · 02/09/2013 19:10

In recent times I have either booked relatives into local hotel, or suggested that they do if they want to stay over. It's worked well so far, relieved the stress all round, and avoided anyone having to move rooms. I do offer lifts to/from hotel in evening and morning usually for non-drivers.

FetchezLaVache · 02/09/2013 19:10

It sounds like you just don't like them, tbh, though if your SIL is a bit whiffy I can't say I blame you. If, as you say, you'd be happy to pay for them to stay in a hotel, could you perhaps compromise and have them at yours for half the time and hotel the other half, but dress it up as a treat?

And whatever. Let's be knowing about the bad stuff. Grin

motherinferior · 02/09/2013 19:11

You've forgotten 'I'd sleep on bare floorboards with nothing but a scraggy towel to cover me if I had to'....

friday16 · 02/09/2013 19:15

"You've forgotten 'I'd sleep on bare floorboards with nothing but a scraggy towel to cover me if I had to'...."

You've forgotten that old MSE favourite "I wish I had a mother to tell to stay in a hotel, when yours dies you'll wish you'd had her sleeping every night in your bed while you curled up in the dishwasher".

justmyview · 02/09/2013 19:19

YABU, it's only a week.

Salmotrutta · 02/09/2013 19:31

TravelinColour - "your house, your rules" should only apply if the OP is the sole owner.

Presumably her DH gets a say if he owns it too?

Salmotrutta · 02/09/2013 19:32

And OP - do you go over to France and stay with them at all?

It always sounds very inhospitable to me to send people to hotels. It's only a week, not a month!

fluffyraggies · 02/09/2013 19:32

Friday - GrinGrin

marriedinwhiteisback · 02/09/2013 21:01

Happy to put anyone up here except SIL and her vandals providing no-oe sleeps in living rooms. It mattered when we had 2.5 bedrooms and no children and SIL2 and her partner invited his brother and wife to sleep on my sitting room floor. Oh yes.

Chottie · 02/09/2013 21:19

It's your home and you want to feel comfortable. The only people who stay with us are DD, her BF and GS and DS.

DD and DS sleep in their childhood bedrooms. We changed DD bed for a double and put in a cot bed for GS. I love them staying but I don't think I could do other people.

BackforGood · 02/09/2013 21:27

I'm in the 'it's inhospitable' camp, but then I don't have relations that would stay a full week. Nor that have questionable hygiene. That said, if you have 3 bedrooms, then I do think YABU to not put the children in together for the time they are here, or bring one of them in with you. To live in a 3 bedroomed house and say you've not got room for your MiL and SiL when they travel from another country to see you sounds very inhospitable to me.

Original poster
HollieHelen · 04/09/2013 10:03

Sounds like I seriously need to work on my hospitality skills. Will have a serious think about rearranging the kids ...
Yes, we do stay with family when we are over there, and I hate it almost as much - no space, no privacy, sharing with DC ... I would love for US to stay in a hotel when we go over there but DH doesn't agree as he thinks it would offend his family.
I think I'm just a bad host and don't much enjoy being a guest either and I need to deal with my negative feelings for DH's sake!!

xx

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