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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

or was this woman with a stick?

268 replies

VodIsGod · 30/08/2013 14:45

Out with my 3 DSs today, aged 8, 5 and 3. All on scooters, they tend to scoot ahead and we have set places on our route where they stop and wait for me to catch up on foot. Part of the route is downhill and they pick up speed but all use their brakes as none of them are adrenaline junkies.

Towards the end of our journey, an elderly woman with a stick approaches me smiling but states that my children were out of control on an earlier section of our route, that they'd gone past too fast. I said that I was sorry if my sons gave her a scare but that I didn't think they were out of control and I was keeping an eye on them. She said they were unsupervised and that she has a friend who was knocked over by a 5yo on a scooter, broke both her legs and never walked again.

I again apologised if they scared her, she said they didn't scare her but were dangerous and that she had decided that if any child came within a foot of her on a scooter she was going to push them into the road with her stick.

I said that that was an extreme reaction and she said it wasn't extreme because her life was just as important as any child's.

I again apologised if the boys had scared her, turned and walked away. She was still talking at me but I couldn't hear her.

AIBU or was she? I keep going over and over it Hmm

OP posts:
propertyNIGHTmareBEFOREXMAS · 30/08/2013 21:06

She sounds totally deranged. If she assaults a child with a stick she'll have the police to deal with.

LongTailedTit · 30/08/2013 21:21

OP has already said she accepts she was BU, but that the old lady was BU too for her stick/road comment.

We could've hit a little girl on a scooter at the weekend - as we turned in to our road a 3/4yo scooted downhill towards us in the road, her 9/10yo sister behind her had to run to catch her. Even tho we were turning slowly DH still had to slam on the brakes. Awful shock for us, but they didn't seem bothered.

DS will be getting one of these scooters next year and tbh this has been a useful thread to prep me for scooter rules!
He will have to go at walking pace or get off when passing people, stay within 3 metres, and any transgressions will lose the next day's scooter use! Cheers MN, I am now Prepared! Grin

MNHQ
OliviaMMumsnet · 30/08/2013 21:26

@SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius

"Ahem. Anyone need a link to our guidelines?"

Guidelines?? We have guidelines? Why has no-one ever mentioned this before. OliviaMMumsnet? Grin

Shock
PaperSeagull · 30/08/2013 21:31

YWBU, but I suppose you know that by now. Of course the woman's statement was extreme and also very unreasonable. But saying something outrageous is one thing. Not very nice but not nearly as bad as acting in ways that endanger other people(or allowing your children to do so).

Recently I was walking on a path designed for pedestrians. A little boy on a scooter came racing up behind me and deliberately aimed his scooter at me, ramming me in the ankles and shouting, "Get out of my way!" The mother came running up behind him but said nothing and just followed him as he scooted along. In her place I would have separated the child from his scooter immediately and for the forseeable future. I wish I had said something at the time but I was so utterly gobsmacked I just stood there gaping. I am lucky to be steady on my feet, as God knows he could have sent an elderly or disabled person flying.

Even children who are not as deliberately aggressive as that boy aren't always able to gauge their speed and proximity to others. Children on scooters need close supervision, in my opinion.

UptheChimney · 30/08/2013 21:31

I'm sorry, but YABU in the first place to allow such young children to scoot when you can't see them. You didn't really know whether or not your children were out if control, so you really didn't have a leg to stand on in your conversation with her.

Scooters on pavements are a menace.

And I say that as an able-bodied nimble walker. The number of times I have had to get out of the way for someone's PFB whose parent thinks that it's OK for their child to dominate the pavement. So THREE children (and very young at that) on the pavement? YABU.

I don't blame the elderly woman for having such an extreme reaction. Wait until you are old and feel vulnerable.

MoominsYonisAreScary · 30/08/2013 21:32

None of mine have taken scooters out with them unless to a park. Its too hilly around here anyway, im always seeing really young children flying down hills with parents running to get hold of them.

What's wrong with just scooting along at a walking pace next to the parent? Surely that's safer for everyone

Ilovemyself · 30/08/2013 21:42

propertyNIGHTmareBEFOREXMAS. Do you really think the old woman would have done it or was she just exasperated at the OP's lack of understanding and made the comment to make the OP think.

And I hope if someone is knocked over by a scooter the police would be involved. Although I guess that as the children were below the age of legal responsibility nothing would be done.

Bit one sided really ...........

moshmoshi · 30/08/2013 21:45

Even if the OP has learned nothing from this thread I have! I really had no idea how potentially dangerous falls could be.

My DC are considerate with their scooters but they do like to go fast, I'm planning to reiterate some safety rules with them i.e. slow down to walking pace straightaway when they see someone ahead and to walk their scooter past people.

We do have these rules but I have been slack about reminding them( as I have not had occasion too) but this thread has really made me think about making sure they are aware and considerate

UptheChimney · 30/08/2013 22:00

As my son said "she had stopped and was letting us through and then told us we were naughty"

So you think it's OK that your children's behaviour requires an adult to step out if their way on a walking path? Because of course a 5 year old child's right of way to speed along a path for walking outstrips anyone else's right to walk without having someone potentially crash into them.

misskatamari · 30/08/2013 22:01

Badger that is absolutely awful that an old person falling and breaking bones if funny. I unfortunately know only too well how devastating it can be after my mum has bad some nasty falls and is now permanently unable to walk and has to live in a care home. Really not a laughing matter.

Op - I think the lady was BU with her "push in the road" comment but agree with others that children should be within sight and should slow down if passing people, elderly or not.

givemeaboost · 30/08/2013 22:07

She was unresoanble to suggest she would push them in the rd if they got to close, but sorry....YADBU to let a 3(!!!) and 5 yr old scooter off further than about 20mtrs in front of you. sorry I just think that's silly and a bit feckless tbh. the 8 yr old, yes, the younger too no way.

MNHQ
OliviaMMumsnet · 30/08/2013 22:16

AHEM

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 30/08/2013 22:17
Grin
Beeyump · 30/08/2013 22:41

I don't get the Aheming Confused

Misspixietrix · 30/08/2013 23:05

I think I do Beeyump but can't say without getting coughed at myself! Grin

MrsTerryPratchett · 30/08/2013 23:12

Is AHEM much worse than Ahem? Just for the spreadsheet...

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 30/08/2013 23:12

They get sent on a Special Ahemming Course when they join MNHQ, Beeyump. You would not believe the level of skill involved!

Beeyump · 30/08/2013 23:16

If I actually got a direct ahem, I'd be rather terrified Grin Or indeed, AHEM!

mignonette · 30/08/2013 23:18

Wouldn't she fall over anyway if she stopped leaning on her stick?

Actually she'd have a hard time explaining to the Police how she'd shoved a child into the road. No matter what she felt your kids had the potential to do to her.

However, 3 years is too young to be that far away from you on a scooter. i see so many parents who let their often very little children run quite a distance ahead of them. There is no way you can exert any control over them or even assist with a threatened tumble. Pavement cambers can channel a small child straight onto the road when they are scootering because they lose control very easily. Please don't let them get so far ahead.

mignonette · 30/08/2013 23:23

I was of course making a flippant comment in bad taste Olivia and didn't see your warning. Not that I should need a warning to know that my post was very Wrong

Too many parents w/ children/prams etc think they not only have the right of way but do not need to say thank you either when I make way for them.
More and more of them actually-at least 60% i would estimate have no manners when i let them pass. What the heck is that rudeness about?

Fakebook · 30/08/2013 23:26

Poor old woman. She's been scarred by her friend's ordeal and I don't blame her for reacting how she did. Old bones don't heal quickly. One fall could mean the loss of independence.

No one seems to respect or take old people seriously anymore. No wonder they have to resort to petty threats.

nametakenagain · 30/08/2013 23:52

Some nasty selfish types on this thread. Am a bit depressed about that, to be honest

kali110 · 31/08/2013 00:10

The lady was being u for her comment. Can understand her saying it as what you said did sound patronising but she still shouldnt have said it.
However i think ywbu and started it. If you didn't see your dc then they weren't being supervised. Even if you're on a footpath in a park then people walking still come first.
I dont think kids should be scooting ahead especially at such young ages however that is your choice. You should still be considerate of others and it doesnt sound like you were. Its not just the elderly, people of any age can be injured. I look normal however have bad mobility, a fall could but my physio back months.

DropYourSword · 31/08/2013 00:29

I used to do this with my sister on our bikes when we went to visit DGp's. We would ride ahead a bit, wait for mum to catch up etc. This is pretty much three same thing for the next generation.

So if so many people think it's so bloody awful for her kids to have had some fun in a park why don't we just ban ALL scooters, bikes, roller blades, doll buggies and anything else that even has the tiniest potential ever to cause a potential accident. The world's gone bloody mad.

zatyaballerina · 31/08/2013 01:01

It would be self defence to push them over if they were going to barge into her, I'd rather knock a kid over than let them run their scooter into me at top speed and never walk again, which is a strong possibility for a lot of elderly people because they're frail.

I think you're unreasonable, not everybody will be fast enough to move out of their way and those who are least able will be the most severely damaged in an accident. Take them to the park.

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