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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

or was this woman with a stick?

268 replies

VodIsGod · 30/08/2013 14:45

Out with my 3 DSs today, aged 8, 5 and 3. All on scooters, they tend to scoot ahead and we have set places on our route where they stop and wait for me to catch up on foot. Part of the route is downhill and they pick up speed but all use their brakes as none of them are adrenaline junkies.

Towards the end of our journey, an elderly woman with a stick approaches me smiling but states that my children were out of control on an earlier section of our route, that they'd gone past too fast. I said that I was sorry if my sons gave her a scare but that I didn't think they were out of control and I was keeping an eye on them. She said they were unsupervised and that she has a friend who was knocked over by a 5yo on a scooter, broke both her legs and never walked again.

I again apologised if they scared her, she said they didn't scare her but were dangerous and that she had decided that if any child came within a foot of her on a scooter she was going to push them into the road with her stick.

I said that that was an extreme reaction and she said it wasn't extreme because her life was just as important as any child's.

I again apologised if the boys had scared her, turned and walked away. She was still talking at me but I couldn't hear her.

AIBU or was she? I keep going over and over it Hmm

OP posts:
pudcat · 30/08/2013 19:23

You are never going to admit YWBU are you? Your. kids. were. going. too. fast. I really hope you will keep them closer and do not have to report to us that they have been injured or have hurt someone else.

YouTheCat · 30/08/2013 19:24

I am going to grow up to be that old lady... the one with the Uzi. Grin

MrsWilberforce · 30/08/2013 19:28

OP you accused the old lady of being 'passive aggressive' upthread but that is exactly how you behaved to her - repeatedly 'apologising' in an patronising way.

I can't see what difference it makes if you were in a park or footpath or wherever the hell - your dc upset this woman and you were unreasonable.

Uzi? Maybe a sword-stick!

BreconBeBuggered · 30/08/2013 19:30

Read through the thread only with the intention of making the same point as WhereYouLeftIt (dammit). I've worked with fragile elderly people and the morbidity rate following fractured neck of femur is shockingly high. It's not always possible to tell who is fragile, either. I'm sure the old lady in question intended to shock you and doesn't pose an actual threat.

Can't believe it's necessary to point out that children on wheels need to be properly supervised until they have full awareness and control, for their own safety as well as that of others.

littlemisswise · 30/08/2013 19:36

You said in your OP that towards the end of your journey the old lady complained about your children being out of control on an earlier part of your journey.

So, was the bit where your DC were out of control in the park, or elsewhere? It must have been some coincidence that the old lady took the same route!

YouTheCat · 30/08/2013 19:37

She must have been very spritely with her stick too, to be able to keep up. Grin

littlemog · 30/08/2013 19:40

OP's story gets curiouser and curiouser. Grin

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 30/08/2013 19:48

The fact that you didn't SEE what happens means you were not in sufficient control of your children, I am afraid, VodisGod.

Have you understood what I and other poster have said about the very real risks for an elderly person, from a simple fall?

Even if the fracture does heal, and there are no complications, an elderly person can be left very nervous and apprehensive - to a life-limiting extent - by the fear of it happening again, leading to more pain, possibly surgery, and a much longer recovery (and a far greater risk of an incomplete recovery, leading to long term disability/reduced mobility) than for a younger person. Just the fear of another really can reduce their quality of life.

hobnobsaremyfavourite · 30/08/2013 19:50

I suspect the op ain't listening STDG

MoominsYonisAreScary · 30/08/2013 19:53

Yabu and I don't believe you were in a park

SilverApples · 30/08/2013 19:53

Well. now you know there are dangerous, insane and aggressive Old Ladies around, you must keep your darlings close and safe.
Who knows what might happen otherwise?
They must stay in sight, preferably a metre from you. Perhaps you could include jogging alongside them as part of your fitness regime OP.
I am small and round with a sweet smile and a posh accent. I am going to be a demonic OL in disguise. The sort your children will take gingerbread from.

soverylucky · 30/08/2013 19:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

YouTheCat · 30/08/2013 19:56

I'm going to be one of these:

FrogsGoWhat · 30/08/2013 19:58

To be honest - even if they were in a park - they were on a PATH in a park - unless it was a cycle path the scooters still do not have priority over pedestrians and probably shouldn't even be there.

Also the OP STILL hasn't said how close her children passed this lady - so therefore I assume they were out of sight and therefore unsupervised.

FrogsGoWhat · 30/08/2013 20:00

I don't think the OP is ever going to agree she was BU - it's one of those threads! Grin

SilverApples · 30/08/2013 20:01

Tartan chopping trolley with spikes on the wheels?
We are not taking this dreadful tale seriously enough Cat, there may be a reckoning... Grin

YouTheCat · 30/08/2013 20:01
Grin
SpecialAgentCuntSnake · 30/08/2013 20:30

As soon as the old lady mentioned a hypothetical situation where her children might be at risk the OP got really exercised and grabbed her pearls in outrage. Because apparently other people's safety doesn't really matter but her precious darlings hypothetical safety does.

Yep!

And this will outrage some scooter-mums, and I have gotten revolting comments about my DS in real life for doing this.

I do put my foot out if I can see a child speeding towards us on a scooter. It's long enough for them to see, and if they don't they fall over. My DS1 has severe SN and being shoved down by a scooter has landed him in hospital.

The amount of parents who then scream with outrage when I tell them they should have been supervising their child and I need to protect mine, who then go on the defensive and blame my son for having SN!!!! Angry

Obviously I don't do this unless the child is far enough away to see I have stopped, put my children behind me and stuck my foot out.

Donning my flame suit...

FrogsGoWhat · 30/08/2013 20:32

Wouldn't it hurt your foot though? You really need a stick!

Grin
SpecialAgentCuntSnake · 30/08/2013 20:37

Yes it bloody well does hurt but if I had a stick I'd end up smacking the moronic, bigoted parents...

I need a Gandalf staff and commanding voice. YOU SHALL NOT PASS

Misspixietrix · 30/08/2013 20:38

Shock at Pushing them off! If it helps OP my DM walks with a stick and gets very panicky if the DC's get too close to her or the stick when she is walking and that's on foot never mind scooters! She's had a number of Falls so is very nervous so I kind of see where the old lady was coming from but she was being a bit U in the Pushing them off comment ~

OliviaMMumsnet · 30/08/2013 20:44

Ahem. Anyone need a link to our guidelines?

lotsofdirections · 30/08/2013 20:56

No mention of old ladies just irresponsible mothers!?!?

www.standard.co.uk/news/uk/scooters-on-the-school-run-are-blamed-for-rise-in-child-injuries-8662981.html

AllDirections · 30/08/2013 21:00

FrogsGoWhat Grin Grin

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 30/08/2013 21:03

"Ahem. Anyone need a link to our guidelines?"

Guidelines?? We have guidelines? Why has no-one ever mentioned this before. OliviaMMumsnet? Grin