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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

or was this woman with a stick?

268 replies

VodIsGod · 30/08/2013 14:45

Out with my 3 DSs today, aged 8, 5 and 3. All on scooters, they tend to scoot ahead and we have set places on our route where they stop and wait for me to catch up on foot. Part of the route is downhill and they pick up speed but all use their brakes as none of them are adrenaline junkies.

Towards the end of our journey, an elderly woman with a stick approaches me smiling but states that my children were out of control on an earlier section of our route, that they'd gone past too fast. I said that I was sorry if my sons gave her a scare but that I didn't think they were out of control and I was keeping an eye on them. She said they were unsupervised and that she has a friend who was knocked over by a 5yo on a scooter, broke both her legs and never walked again.

I again apologised if they scared her, she said they didn't scare her but were dangerous and that she had decided that if any child came within a foot of her on a scooter she was going to push them into the road with her stick.

I said that that was an extreme reaction and she said it wasn't extreme because her life was just as important as any child's.

I again apologised if the boys had scared her, turned and walked away. She was still talking at me but I couldn't hear her.

AIBU or was she? I keep going over and over it Hmm

OP posts:
MrsOakenshield · 30/08/2013 15:05

drop - your comments are very offensive.

DuckToWater · 30/08/2013 15:06

I don't care what their age, if I saw someone push a child into the road, they'd have a broken head to worry about, never mind legs.

MrsTerryPratchett · 30/08/2013 15:07

How many people trot alongside children when they are scooting rather than let them go a 20 metres ahead? With a 3 year old, they would be right beside me.

Pachacuti · 30/08/2013 15:07

Could you see them the whole time? That wasn't clear from your OP.

spongebob13 · 30/08/2013 15:08

I agree they should dismount or they should be in a park or more open space to use them. they are the same as cycling or skate boarding on a footpath. I am assuming its a footpath as OP hasn't yet answered if it was.

DonkeysDontRideBicycles · 30/08/2013 15:08

On the plus side she didn't accost your DCs, approached you instead, smiled and was articulate and so not some frothing angry person. For that reason I'd take the 'stick' comment with a big pinch of salt. I'm neither elderly nor using a walking stick but three DCs trundling along on scooters at faster than my walking pace would probably get my attention.

You apologised, stayed calm and asserted yourself so all in all pretty fair exchange I'd say.

spongebob13 · 30/08/2013 15:09

Ducktowater what would you do if you saw a kid swerve and cause an elderly person to fall an break a hip?

she threatened to do it. I doubt she would but was probably getting annoyed at the OP's perhaps flippant response to her concern.

canyou · 30/08/2013 15:09

She was being UR to say she would push them onto the rod but totally reasonable to worry about her safety, it is a footpath first and fore most and so she is right to expect all traffic on it to be at a walking or running pace. DC do not always recognise that someone else would not have the reflexes to move out of the way of scooters bikes etc. An elderly neighbour of ours fell whilst avoiding a toddler on a scooter, an open leg fracture and 12 months later she is still not home, unable to walk without a frame, has lost all her independence and become a sad old bitter lady not the jolly sprightly 80 + yro who walked to church to help the old people every day. Yes she is the extreme case of a scooter accident but it reinforced in my mind and that of my DC that scooters and bikes are not safe on pedestrian walkways at any speed

VestaCurry · 30/08/2013 15:11

I'd say you were both bu. Personally I wouldn't let 3 children 'scoot ahead' on pedestrian paths (if that's where you were), in the same way as I wouldn't let 3 young children ride ahead on bikes on a pathway. It has the potential for nasty accidents - that number of 'bodies' in charge of a vehicle (a (a scooter is as much a vehicle as any other) can block the path for pedestrians easily.

Her comment about pushing a child into the road was out of order.

One small child with a scooter supervised alongside parent on a path is ok to my mind. Any more than that and they belong at a park with wide pathways that allow for scooting and cycling.

TheSecondComing · 30/08/2013 15:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DuckToWater · 30/08/2013 15:13

Ducktowater what would you do if you saw a kid swerve and cause an elderly person to fall an break a hip?

That's an accident. Pushing someone into the road is a deliberate attempt to cause harm.

Floggingmolly · 30/08/2013 15:14

You would have laughed, badger? Hmm. Elderly people don't heal like young people, it's entirely possible two broken legs could leave an old lady permanently immobile even after the breaks had healed.
5 and 3 year old's scooting down a hill out of sight is a recipe for disaster.
The push them into the road comment was probably her attempt to break through your "but they were doing no harm" stance.

Nanny0gg · 30/08/2013 15:14

Dropyoursword so the rights of children to scoot outweigh the rights of the elderly to walk about in safety? Your post was very rude. And we have no idea of that lady's mental state, however wrong she was to have said what she said.
OP, perhaps you need closer control of your children near pedestrians.

FrenchJunebug · 30/08/2013 15:14

you didn't really apologise though, did you? You said 'sorry, but'.

You are both BU

DuckToWater · 30/08/2013 15:14

How many people trot alongside children when they are scooting rather than let them go a 20 metres ahead? With a 3 year old, they would be right beside me.

Leave it to parental judgement, I say.

DuckToWater · 30/08/2013 15:18

you didn't really apologise though, did you? You said 'sorry, but'.

It was enough apology for the extremely minor thing that happened.

lotsofdirections · 30/08/2013 15:18

Last week my next door neighbour was knocked over by a six year old as she stepped out of her gate. She has broken her hip and will be in hospital for the next 6+ weeks. The children in our, quiet, one-way street are a menace on the pavements with their scooters. The parents seem to think because they can see them they are no problem but they are too young to be truly aware of hazards. I am petrified every time I come out of my drive in case one of them is in the way. If they want to be on their scooters take them to the park!

littlemog · 30/08/2013 15:19

I think your were BU to argue with her when she said they were out of control - she had obviously tried to be pleasant about it, you say she smiled as she apporached, and you've probably only confirmed her suspicions that people don't care about the elderly

Her remark about the stick was nasty but wouldn't have happened if you'd been more sympathetic in the first place

This - she was probably afraid and I too would be annoyed by three kids speeding along the pavement with parent miles behind.

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie · 30/08/2013 15:19

You were BOTH unreasonable. You for letting children scoot downhill alone and she for threatening them. However...I have to say people like you annoy me badly. My DD was knocked right onto her face into the road by a little boy of about 7 on his scooter. SHe was only 4 and I was SO mad I could not LOOK at his stupid Mother as I would have said something very rude.

PLEASE don't let children risk other people because you can't be arsed looking after them or implementing some discipline.

TheRealJules · 30/08/2013 15:19

On the pavement my 5 yr old is next to me all the time, I run to keep up or ask him to slow down. This is because he could lose his balance or wobble and shoot into the road at any time.

Anywhere else he can scoot a little way ahead.

MrsOakenshield · 30/08/2013 15:19

"Ducktowater what would you do if you saw a kid swerve and cause an elderly person to fall an break a hip?

That's an accident. Pushing someone into the road is a deliberate attempt to cause harm."

but you could argue that refusing to accept that your DC could cause such an accident, makes yours and their actions rather more deliberate. You are deliberately not stopping your DC from scooting where an accident is more likely.

littlemog · 30/08/2013 15:20

Oh and badger you should be ashamed of your vile post. Fucking hilarious I don't think. Angry

ArgyMargy · 30/08/2013 15:21

She may have said she wasn't scared, but many old people are unsteady on their feet and 3 children shooting past could well unnerve them. She was clearly being overly grumpy but perhaps a word to your DCs about giving oldies a wide berth would be in order?

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie · 30/08/2013 15:21

Just read your OP again and actually I think she was reasonable. If you want to put others at risk then you should expect others to defend themselves.

DuckToWater · 30/08/2013 15:21

No wonder there is childhood obesity...