Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

or was this woman with a stick?

268 replies

VodIsGod · 30/08/2013 14:45

Out with my 3 DSs today, aged 8, 5 and 3. All on scooters, they tend to scoot ahead and we have set places on our route where they stop and wait for me to catch up on foot. Part of the route is downhill and they pick up speed but all use their brakes as none of them are adrenaline junkies.

Towards the end of our journey, an elderly woman with a stick approaches me smiling but states that my children were out of control on an earlier section of our route, that they'd gone past too fast. I said that I was sorry if my sons gave her a scare but that I didn't think they were out of control and I was keeping an eye on them. She said they were unsupervised and that she has a friend who was knocked over by a 5yo on a scooter, broke both her legs and never walked again.

I again apologised if they scared her, she said they didn't scare her but were dangerous and that she had decided that if any child came within a foot of her on a scooter she was going to push them into the road with her stick.

I said that that was an extreme reaction and she said it wasn't extreme because her life was just as important as any child's.

I again apologised if the boys had scared her, turned and walked away. She was still talking at me but I couldn't hear her.

AIBU or was she? I keep going over and over it Hmm

OP posts:
SilverApples · 30/08/2013 18:41

As a student I used to barge cyclists on the pavement that came too close to me accidently with my bag. They were students mostly, if that helps.
Not delightful little kiddiwinks. Well, they must have been at one time I suppose.

FryOneFatManic · 30/08/2013 18:46

OP it doesn't matter how considerate your boys are. At the ages you say they are, they have no real awareness of the danger they pose to others, especially elderly people and other children.

Your OP gives me the impression you were being very patronising to this lady.

BeyondTheLimitsOfAcceptability · 30/08/2013 18:50

If she was going to push all the way to the road from the park, then she was definitely out of line.

BeyondTheLimitsOfAcceptability · 30/08/2013 18:52

On the other hand, if she was merely pointing out that if anyone were to come close enough to potentially hurt her, she would lash out in self defence, I tbh, don't think that is unreasonable.

Original poster
VodIsGod · 30/08/2013 18:52

We. were. in. a. park.

Don't accuse me of making this up.

She said the next time A child (not mine, necessary) came within a foot of her on scooter she would push them into the road with her stick. I have no idea why she phrased it like that when we. were. in. a. park.

Ok IABU and for her remark, so was she. I've been told this by her and all of you. And she....?

OP posts:
Floggingmolly · 30/08/2013 18:52

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

Pachacuti · 30/08/2013 18:56

Rest assured, Vod, if she comes onto Mumsnet and starts an "AIBU to shove passing small children into the road with my stick?" thread then she'll almost certainly be told she's BU.

Pachacuti · 30/08/2013 18:58

Floggingmilly, there's a (chuffing enormous) park near us that I'd probably use those terms of.

littlemisswise · 30/08/2013 18:58

"Part of the route is downhill", "near the end of our journey".
My arse you were in a park

And the 3 year old was not beside you in your original post either

This!

Pachacuti · 30/08/2013 18:58

Or even Floggingmolly...

oldgrandmama · 30/08/2013 18:59

Must declare an interest here! A small boy (about four) on a scooter crashed into the back of me just a few days ago, in a pedestrianised shopping precinct. The mother apologised, I said that's OK but perhaps you could rein him in a bit rather than let him go hell for lealther when so many people are about and she agreed. No harm done. It does sound, sorry, as though the OP's children were bombing it a bit and I can see it must be quite alarming with three boys pelting along. But the old lady was out of order suggesting she'd push a kid into the road - that's horrid.

50shadesofmeh · 30/08/2013 18:59

She's a crazy old bastard to want to assault your children but if they were out of your supervision long enough for someone to hurt them then perhaps you should rethink letting them go on ahead if they are in Danger if being attacked.

50shadesofmeh · 30/08/2013 19:00

Also if path was beside a road it's not the best for unsupervised small children

buss · 30/08/2013 19:00

a park is different I think...children should be allowed to play in parks on a scooter ....but it becomes difficult as elderly people will naturally be wary of children on scooters/bikes going past.

I assumed it was a pavement as the old lady mentioned the road

however if a child is 'within a foot of her' on a scooter than that is too close!

Original poster
VodIsGod · 30/08/2013 19:00

What do you want a map???!!!

It was a half a mile walk to town from our house, some of it on pavements, some of it downhill, some of uphill, some of it on roads without pavements, some of it through a park. The incident took place on the part of our route that was in the park!!!!

Stop saying I'm lying.

OP posts:
buss · 30/08/2013 19:01

'crazy old bastard' Hmm
nice

spongebob13 · 30/08/2013 19:03

I asked you twice when there were only 18 posts was it a foot path and you replied never answering the question. now YOU. WERE. IN. A. PARK.

tbh if you talked to the lady like you are coming across now tis a wonder she didn't beat you with a stick!

Whogivesashit · 30/08/2013 19:04

VodIsGod: I bet you wish you'd never bleedin asked? Eh?

50shadesofmeh · 30/08/2013 19:05

Evil old bastard then Buss .. Many apologies

toomanyfionas · 30/08/2013 19:07

Thing is, kids have zero understanding of how it is to have someone zoom past in close proximity. They can't, they are still developing spatial awareness.

I actually think 3 and 5 are too young to be allowed to zoom ahead.

But somehow I doubt you will take up close supervision. I doubt you will learn anything from this at all.

hobnobsaremyfavourite · 30/08/2013 19:07

We will all be old one day. Maybe only then will we understand quite how vulnerable they feel.

SeaSickSal · 30/08/2013 19:07

Actually I completely understand why the old lady said what she did and I actually think it's a bit lol.

When it was pointed out to the OP that her children were doing something which posed a risk to other people she was airily dismissive several times.

As soon as the old lady mentioned a hypothetical situation where her children might be at risk the OP got really exercised and grabbed her pearls in outrage. Because apparently other people's safety doesn't really matter but her precious darlings hypothetical safety does.

The OP may not have seen the irony but I bet said old lady was chuckling all the way home. OP, if someone making a throw away comment about doing something that poses a risk to your children is so upsetting to you, why do you find it acceptable for you and your DCs can actually take real risks with other people's safety? There is a valuable lesson for you in there.

WhereYouLeftIt · 30/08/2013 19:14

"I suppose I just feel as if I calmly apologised 3 times and she just kept on and on."
But you were apologising for something she wasn't complaining to you about!

She was complaining about the danger your children posed to others. You were apologising if they had scared her, despite her telling you that they hadn't scared her. Of course she 'kept on and on', because you were not addressing her complaint at all.

And FYI - never walking again is not the worst case scenario for a broken leg in the elderly. A fall often results in a fractured neck of femur (broken hip), and I believe around half of elderly people who suffer this injury are dead within the year. This woman was right, you are not taking the danger to others seriously enough. Facts about Fractured Nech of Femur

Ilovemyself · 30/08/2013 19:22

Next thing you know the old lady will have pulled an Uzi on them!

runningonwillpower · 30/08/2013 19:22

Children on scooters are a menace to themselves and others.

Parents of children on scooters should know this and take precautionary measures.

True story.

Swipe left for the next trending thread