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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

or was this woman with a stick?

268 replies

VodIsGod · 30/08/2013 14:45

Out with my 3 DSs today, aged 8, 5 and 3. All on scooters, they tend to scoot ahead and we have set places on our route where they stop and wait for me to catch up on foot. Part of the route is downhill and they pick up speed but all use their brakes as none of them are adrenaline junkies.

Towards the end of our journey, an elderly woman with a stick approaches me smiling but states that my children were out of control on an earlier section of our route, that they'd gone past too fast. I said that I was sorry if my sons gave her a scare but that I didn't think they were out of control and I was keeping an eye on them. She said they were unsupervised and that she has a friend who was knocked over by a 5yo on a scooter, broke both her legs and never walked again.

I again apologised if they scared her, she said they didn't scare her but were dangerous and that she had decided that if any child came within a foot of her on a scooter she was going to push them into the road with her stick.

I said that that was an extreme reaction and she said it wasn't extreme because her life was just as important as any child's.

I again apologised if the boys had scared her, turned and walked away. She was still talking at me but I couldn't hear her.

AIBU or was she? I keep going over and over it Hmm

OP posts:
MrsCampbellBlack · 30/08/2013 17:03

Funnily enough I was only thinking only on mn would people excuse such a threat Wink

Glad, we're both not disappointed.

littlemog · 30/08/2013 17:05

She was probably getting very annoyed with the OP ( as I would have been) and said something ratty to get her attention. We have all done it I believe....

ArgyMargy · 30/08/2013 17:10

GrinGrin Littlemog

YouTheCat · 30/08/2013 17:11

I had some arsebadger nearly force me off the pavement on Wednesday.

He was cycling the wrong way up a busy road, whilst his dear little cherubs (looked about 9 and 12/13) were cycling on the path.

But apparently a stick in the spokes often offends Hmm

MrsTerryPratchett · 30/08/2013 17:25

Are arsebadgers part of the cull? Sad

YouTheCat · 30/08/2013 17:26

I wish arsebadgers were the whole cull.

Leave the other badgers alone.

Original poster
VodIsGod · 30/08/2013 17:42

When you say she smiled so it was a friendly approach it was subtlety different. She was smiling but it wasn't reaching her eyes. It was passive aggressive. And then just aggressive.

OP posts:
spongebob13 · 30/08/2013 17:44

OP you asked if you were bu. majority said the old lady shouldn't have said that but that you were bu. so stop grasping at straws and drip feeding.

Lweji · 30/08/2013 17:45

Oh, that changes it completely, then. Hmm

So, did you see how close and how fast they went past her?

Have you talked to your children about being careful around people?

Original poster
VodIsGod · 30/08/2013 17:46

Reading everything through and now I'm "entitled, selfish and lazy".

I quit.

OP posts:
spongebob13 · 30/08/2013 17:48

opens the door so OP can flounce.

MrsWilberforce · 30/08/2013 17:48

Why 'passive aggressive' just because the smile didn't reach her eyes! More likely it was placatory because she suspected (correctly) you would not respond well to any criticism of your dc/parenting.

Lweji · 30/08/2013 17:48

On a scooter.

spongebob13 · 30/08/2013 17:49

Grin Lweji

Original poster
VodIsGod · 30/08/2013 18:01

Lost a couple of posts when my signal failed, but to sum up:

She wasn't friendly and I gave her my full attention, and listened to her concerns.

We WERE in a park where a couple of paths intersect. As my son said "she had stopped and was letting us through and then told us we were naughty".

The 3 yo was close to me, my older two a bit ahead. They are considerate boys.

And now I really do quit...

OP posts:
YouTheCat · 30/08/2013 18:13

Maybe if you'd said you were in the park to start with (pretty important information) you'd have had different responses? Hmm

littlemisswise · 30/08/2013 18:16

If you were in a park how was she going to push them into the road with her stick? Confused

I bloody hate drip feeding!Hmm

YouTheCat · 30/08/2013 18:17

Indeed. Hmm

My dubious metre is going haywire here.

littlemog · 30/08/2013 18:18

Giant drip feed. Which story to believe?

littlemog · 30/08/2013 18:19

Yes, how many parks have roads running through them....?

Turniptwirl · 30/08/2013 18:23

A few meters ahead is different to needing designated waiting points! If you couldn't see the younger two at least then yabvu

thegreylady · 30/08/2013 18:25

If you were in the park YANBU but if you were on the pavement [which is for pedestrians] then YABVU.
I think that children on skates,scooters or bicycles should be closely supervised on the pavement and be made aware that pedestrians have right of way.They should be taught to moderate their speed and be vigilant and courteous.
Life is difficult enough for the elderly and they should be treated with courtesy and consideration.
However the elderly should also refrain from threatening violence to little children [or anyone else] however if a polite word with the 'supervising' adult fails then they have to protect themselves as they can.

jacks365 · 30/08/2013 18:30

Threatening to push them into the road is a very empty threat if there is no road there. It does sound like you just didn't appreciate her pov and were dismissive of her.

pudcat · 30/08/2013 18:35

If you were in the park how could she threaten to push them into the road. Nowhere did you say you were in the park. You are changing the scenario and the demeanour of the lady to suit your own conscience, as you do not agree with being told YWU.

SilverApples · 30/08/2013 18:39

Well, if you were supervising them, she won't have the chance, will she? Because they are under your control, and you would make sure that pedestrians are not intimidated by them hurtling by.
She's one woman.
Imagine the mess if your children run into a PFB toddling along, and are rent limb from limb by an infuriated parent.
Or crash into a large and toothy dog that objects strenuously.
Your children are in no danger, if, as you claim, they are supervised. You will be right there with them.

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