or was this woman with a stick?

[VodIsGod]

Out with my 3 DSs today, aged 8, 5 and 3. All on scooters, they tend to scoot ahead and we have set places on our route where they stop and wait for me to catch up on foot. Part of the route is downhill and they pick up speed but all use their brakes as none of them are adrenaline junkies.

Towards the end of our journey, an elderly woman with a stick approaches me smiling but states that my children were out of control on an earlier section of our route, that they'd gone past too fast. I said that I was sorry if my sons gave her a scare but that I didn't think they were out of control and I was keeping an eye on them. She said they were unsupervised and that she has a friend who was knocked over by a 5yo on a scooter, broke both her legs and never walked again.

I again apologised if they scared her, she said they didn't scare her but were dangerous and that she had decided that if any child came within a foot of her on a scooter she was going to push them into the road with her stick.

I said that that was an extreme reaction and she said it wasn't extreme because her life was just as important as any child's.

I again apologised if the boys had scared her, turned and walked away. She was still talking at me but I couldn't hear her.

AIBU or was she? I keep going over and over it

OP should make sure her DC are scooting appropriately wrt other pedestrians and road conditions.
The old lady was way out of line for threatening to push a child into the road. That is fucking sick!

Sir The difference is that in most cases a young bloke being pushed over wouldn't have the same consequences to his health as an elderly person.

Well, it was fair enough for the lady to point out she felt your children were dangerous - who knows if they actually were or not as we weren't there?

But generally, I think a 3 year old is way too young to be scooting ahead.

However, the lady was horrid to say she'd push a child onto the road - in fact its such a dreadful thing to say that I'd have wondered if she had dementia or something.

That was not the point I was making Murder - the fact that she threatened to push a child into the road with her stick is utterly unacceptable, regardless of what she thought might happen.

I read the threat to push the children into the road as a response to the OP not listening to her - repeatedly insisting she must have been scared. And not something she really meant - just frustration that the OP wasn't listening - well that's how it reads to me!

If they were not unsupervised then the OP can tell us how far away they were when the passed the lady. If the OP didn't see then they were, indeed, unsupervised - and shouldn't have been!

I agree it was unacceptable, just saying that the reason a young man saying it would have generated more condemnation is because a young man saying it would have been even more of an overreaction.

But Frogs, just because the lady was frustrated - seriously, you can not just go round threatening to push children onto roads with a stick.

SirChenjin. I can only see that the threat was out of frustration whith the fact the OP didn't seem concerned at all. If that was the only way to get what appears to be an unreasonable parent to listen I can see why she said it. And, of course, the threat was almost certainly an empty one.

Frogsgpwhat. I agree totally.

What Ilovemyself said - an empty threat to get the OP to listen. No, she shouldn't have said it, but the OP is more guilty of Being Unreasonable.

xpost

MrsCampbellBlack. Do you not think it was an empty threat to try and get the OP actually listen?

YABVVVU

you let your small dc cycle out of control and put themselves and other people in danger. Then you repeatedly apologised to the old lady for them having "scared" her when she had told you repeatedly that they hadn't scared her. SWBU for saying she would push a child into the road. But considering the danger you'd just put her in and your reaction when questioned, I don't blame her.

If you are going to let small dc on scooters they need to be in a suitable place like your own garden or a playground. Not a place where people of all ages are walking.

Small (and larger!) children on scooters are a menace. Most lack the awareness to look out for pedestrians or other hazards properly. They should really slow down and pass pedestrians at a walking pace, and give those who look unsteady or other young children a wide berth.

I'd keep scooters to the park and garden and walk on the pavements.

Most parents would go mental if I passed you and your kids on the pavement on my bike at a speed I was comfortable with! (I don't ride on the pavement btw)

So basically, OP you were unreasonable not to acknowledge that your children could quite easily end the mobility of an older person. The stick comment was pretty fair enough as a response to your shit apology "sorry if you were scared" that's crap, like saying "I'm sorry if my comment offended you" rather than properly saying sorry!

Anyway, she won't be pushing your kids into the road cos they were more than a foot away yeah?

Most people have said she was wrong for saying she would push them in the road with her stick.

I too think it was an empty threat to get the OP to listen.

Another YABU.

Although the stick comment wasn't nice, the way I read it was that she said it out of frustration because you wouldn't see that your children could have hurt someone.

She probably thought that although you didn't seem concerned enough to do something if someone else was at risk, maybe you would do something if you thought your children were.

Reiterating that you were sorry she was scared probably made her believe that you were trying to put all the responsibility on her - ie. the only reason that there was a problem was because she was scared - not that your children might have been scootering without taking enough care of people around them, VodisGod.

Perhaps you should consider that your children might not have been showing enough care for pedestrians - maybe they were not scootering as carefully as you think they were. I suspect that there was right and wrong on both sides - 3 children, scootering fast, maybe competing with each other, might have got a bit out of control, and might be a bit too young to be scootering out of your sight - and she might not have been scared for her own safety, but might have thought they could hurt a vulnerable, elderly person (like her friend) - but there was no excuse to threaten to push a child into the road.

Fwiw, where I used to live in Southend, an elderly lady was knocked down by someone cycling on the pavement (so a similar sort of impact as being hit by a scooter going fast). She broke her hip - something that could easily happen if an elderly person has a simple fall, never mind a fall caused by a scooter going at speed. She died in hospital as a result of complications that were a direct result of the injury.

I nursed a number of elderly patients who broke their hips - all too often it devastated their lives. Surgery to repair a broken hip has lots of risks for an elderly person - sometimes the anaesthetic and the shock can precipitate dementia. Sometimes the prolonged period of immobility (because elderly people heal more slowly and, as a result, take longer to get mobile again) can cause chest infections, often leading to pneumonia - and again, an elderly person is far more likely to have difficulty recovering from this than a younger person and so itmhas a higher mortality rate amongst older, more vulnerable people - and this is why elderly people worry about falls.

I am 35. Hate kids on scooters on pavements. Can be startling even if not hit. And what of small children on pavements/town squares etc. who walk in unpredictable directions? A kid on a scooter would go into them. Small children allowed to be there, scooters aren't me thinks.

Regardless of the age of the person, no-one should say they will push a child into the road. DFIL was disabled - had Parksinsons and so walked with sticks before he was in a wheelchair. He was a dear, kind, tolerant man who would never, ever have said anything like that to a child or their parent - threatening to push a child into the road because they came with a foot of her? How odd (and vicious).

YABU
Your children shouldn't be on the footpath on scooters at all.

My ds was knocked flying by a child with a scooter when he was a toddler. No broken bones for him (and the child's mum just stood there like a wet lettuce) but I'd imagine an elderly person could be injured in the same situation.

It may well have been an empty threat but it was still a threat. And I would think someone who made a threat like that either had anger issues or some other problem.

Its just such a mean thing to say.

And I'm not a fan of scooters and make my own child pull over and stop if someone is passing.

So this old lady is now 'vicious'.

Only on MN.

Oh yes and has 'anger issues' and possible 'dementia'.

Well littlemog - threatening to push a child onto a road with her stick that's not normal behaviour in my world.