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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

or was this woman with a stick?

268 replies

VodIsGod · 30/08/2013 14:45

Out with my 3 DSs today, aged 8, 5 and 3. All on scooters, they tend to scoot ahead and we have set places on our route where they stop and wait for me to catch up on foot. Part of the route is downhill and they pick up speed but all use their brakes as none of them are adrenaline junkies.

Towards the end of our journey, an elderly woman with a stick approaches me smiling but states that my children were out of control on an earlier section of our route, that they'd gone past too fast. I said that I was sorry if my sons gave her a scare but that I didn't think they were out of control and I was keeping an eye on them. She said they were unsupervised and that she has a friend who was knocked over by a 5yo on a scooter, broke both her legs and never walked again.

I again apologised if they scared her, she said they didn't scare her but were dangerous and that she had decided that if any child came within a foot of her on a scooter she was going to push them into the road with her stick.

I said that that was an extreme reaction and she said it wasn't extreme because her life was just as important as any child's.

I again apologised if the boys had scared her, turned and walked away. She was still talking at me but I couldn't hear her.

AIBU or was she? I keep going over and over it Hmm

OP posts:
Nanny0gg · 30/08/2013 15:21

Leave it to parental judgement, I say. somehow I don't have much faith in this...

lotsofdirections · 30/08/2013 15:23

What is especially annoying about where I live is that the seafront is 100m away and a park less than 200. Plus every house/bungalow in the road has a minimum of 100m long back garden!

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie · 30/08/2013 15:23

My DD could have gone under a car because of a stupid woman like you OP. Just control your children.

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie · 30/08/2013 15:24

Duck don't be so fucking pathetic. This has nothing to do with kids getting exercise and EVERYTHING to do with an entitled, selfish and lazy parent.

littlemog · 30/08/2013 15:25

DropYourSword your post is depressing and horrible. What disgraceful things to say. With you are badger on this thread it is not difficult to see how our elderly feel afraid and under valued in our society.

I am sure that she would not push a child in to the road but it seems that she was getting frustrated by the OP who refused to acknowledge her concerns, rein the kids in or properly apologise (sorry, but....).

Lweji · 30/08/2013 15:28

Personally, if she said she was worried and you apologised if she was scared, wouldn't be enough.

You dismissed her concerns and didn't even offer to keep the children more under control.

Children may hesitate at higher speeds (may seem moderate to an adult) and not be able to avoid hitting people or things.

In practical terms, I don't think an elderly woman will be fast enough with her stick to hit a child coming too close to her.
She is not unreasonable to push anyone who comes too close to her that it might endanger her.

Have you had a talk with your children about slowing down when passing by other children and elderly people?

RoastedCouchPotatoes · 30/08/2013 15:33

You were both BU. She for the threat, you for discounting her feelings (she said she wasn't scared- whether she was or wasn't, you kept basically telling her she was scared which is rude and dismissive).

Arnie123 · 30/08/2013 15:33

I would tell her if she hit my son I would tell him to grab the stick off her and give her a good smacking with it nasty old cow

jacks365 · 30/08/2013 15:33

My grandmother fell and broke her hip badly, unfortunately there was not much the hospital could do as she was too weak to survive the operation needed to repair it, they made her as comfortable as they could till she passed away. Falls can kill.

littlemog · 30/08/2013 15:34

OP you were also rude to walk away when she was still speaking to you. I think your attitude was all wrong here and you don't come across well at all.

Lweji · 30/08/2013 15:34

If concern about people's safety is not enough...

This Summer I have had to ask a surf instructor if he was prepared to be taken to court if one of his charges hit my DS (or me) on the head with a surf board.

Similarly, would you be prepared to answer in court and pay up because an elderly lady was knocked down by one of your children and became unable to walk again?

almapudden · 30/08/2013 15:38

I hate kids on scooters. Even the well-behaved ones get in the way and mean you have to swerve to avoid them. When did it become de rigeur for all 3-10 year olds to have to scoot, anyway? They should use their bloody legs!

comingalongnicely · 30/08/2013 15:38

The old lady sounds pretty U to keep banging on about it TBH. Have your say & move along.

I think that the OP is the only one who knows if the kids were safe to both themselves and others.

Unfortunately age doesn't mean people are automatically in the right - a lot of the time it seems to mean they have a huge sense of self entitlement & the rest of us can just fuck off. The old lady sounds like she's close to being one of those if she's not already....

comingalongnicely · 30/08/2013 15:39

This Summer I have had to ask a surf instructor if he was prepared to be taken to court if one of his charges hit my DS (or me) on the head with a surf board.

Don't paddle in front of the surfboards springs to mind FFS....

littlemog · 30/08/2013 15:41

comingalong I would say the the OP sounds like the entitled one here.

Coconutty · 30/08/2013 15:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ilovemyself · 30/08/2013 15:42

YABU. The children should not scoot off so far that you need points for them to wait. And the old lady sounded like she was trying to be nice to begin with but saw you weren't bothered and got angry. If they were that far ahead and she felt threatened how can you say they were under control. I would say here comment was simple frustration at the fact you couldn't care less about her safety ( or personally I think your kids if they are that far ahead)

HootShoot · 30/08/2013 15:42

It's depressing reading how some of you refer to older people. Even more depressing that you appear to be saying you would tell your kids to be rude and offensive also. Your dismissive attitudes and your instance that your precious offspring have more rights than elderly people or anyone else is pretty disgusting I think. OP - YABU.

MrsTerryPratchett · 30/08/2013 15:43

No wonder there is childhood obesity... Yeah, because walking instead would make them all fat and lazy.

Weegiemum · 30/08/2013 15:44

I have a neurological disorder that affects my balance - I use a stick in crowds etc to stop me being pushed over again (yes Mr Business-suit guy I'm looking at YOU).

Children on scooters terrify me. I'm really very wobbly and both the speed and proximity makes me very uncomfortable.

She was u about the pushing them comment, but really it's hard to appreciate how fast a child is travelling as it is only really apparent as they zoom by you. Until 18 months ago I never noticed, but now I kep out of their way!

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie · 30/08/2013 15:46

Arnie and I'd take it off you and give you a good old smacking back! So we're all even aren't we.

littlemog · 30/08/2013 15:46

It's depressing reading how some of you refer to older people. Even more depressing that you appear to be saying you would tell your kids to be rude and offensive also. Your dismissive attitudes and your instance that your precious offspring have more rights than elderly people or anyone else is pretty disgusting I think. OP - YABU

^^
This. It has shocked me too.

littlemisswise · 30/08/2013 15:49

She shouldn't have said that she'd push them into the road with her stick, but you were being totally unreasonable for allowing 3 children to scoot off in front of you in the first place.

I hate scooters, I walk with sticks, they terrify me too. The children go too fast and get too close. They have no idea of space and speed.

Don't get me started on the parents who allow their kids to scoot in shops!

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie · 30/08/2013 15:50

She should not have said that no but it sounds like a knee jerk reaction in a situation where she felt helpless thanks to the OPs refusal to admit she was in the wrong.

If OP had simply apologised then she wouldn't have lost her rag.

timidviper · 30/08/2013 15:51

Agree with everybody else here, she was unreasonable to threaten to push them into the road but you should probably keep your children under closer supervision.

I'm not surprised she was frustrated with you though as you seem to have taken the "sorry if you were frightened" line and not acknowledged that you may need to look at or change your behaviour, particularly if this all happened on a footpath rather than a cycleway or combined use area. If it is a footpath then your children should slow down or dismount near pedestrians.

Incidentally you may be interested to know that a fractured hip, which is relatively common after a fall in older people, has high rates of mortality and morbidity. healthomg.com/2011/04/07/risk-of-death-persists-after-a-hip-fracture/ so her fears may be valid

There have been some horrible comments on here about laughing at a badly injured elderly woman and threatening violence at an old person making a reasonable complaint. Those posters should be ashamed of themselves.