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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

or was this woman with a stick?

268 replies

VodIsGod · 30/08/2013 14:45

Out with my 3 DSs today, aged 8, 5 and 3. All on scooters, they tend to scoot ahead and we have set places on our route where they stop and wait for me to catch up on foot. Part of the route is downhill and they pick up speed but all use their brakes as none of them are adrenaline junkies.

Towards the end of our journey, an elderly woman with a stick approaches me smiling but states that my children were out of control on an earlier section of our route, that they'd gone past too fast. I said that I was sorry if my sons gave her a scare but that I didn't think they were out of control and I was keeping an eye on them. She said they were unsupervised and that she has a friend who was knocked over by a 5yo on a scooter, broke both her legs and never walked again.

I again apologised if they scared her, she said they didn't scare her but were dangerous and that she had decided that if any child came within a foot of her on a scooter she was going to push them into the road with her stick.

I said that that was an extreme reaction and she said it wasn't extreme because her life was just as important as any child's.

I again apologised if the boys had scared her, turned and walked away. She was still talking at me but I couldn't hear her.

AIBU or was she? I keep going over and over it Hmm

OP posts:
pudcat · 30/08/2013 15:52

You really should keep your children close when on a pavement. What if the 3 year old had fallen off in to the path of a car or just into the road. Would the other 2 be quick enough to get him/her to safety? Would you have been able to run quick enough to save them from traffic? Scooters are a wretched nuisance. The lady should not have said that she would knock them in to the road but she is right to be concerned about them knocking her over. Just imagine if you were coming up the hill and scooters 3 abreast were coming racing towards you. Where do you go? On to the road to be knocked down, into the fence or hedge and get hurt?

Arnie123 · 30/08/2013 15:52

This reply has been deleted

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SoleSource · 30/08/2013 15:54

YABU

AnotherStitchInTime · 30/08/2013 15:56

I think YABU.

Your children are too young to be riding ahead downhill. I watched a 3 year old nearly get run over by a 4x4 recently. He was waiting by the crossing with his older siblings but let go of the scooter and it started to slide into the road. Being 3 he didn't think and stepped forward into the road to retrieve it before his siblings could stop him. The sound that his mum made when she thought he was going to be crushed under the vehicle was one I hope never to hear again. If the 4x4 driver hadn't managed to do an rapid emergency stop he would have been dead.

Secondly it is intimidating for an elderly person who is unsteady on their feet to be approached at speed by children on scooters. What seems a good speed to you will seem fast to them and scary. Children do not necessarily have an awareness of an appropriate distance or speed to pass by pedestrians when on a pavement.

She was being unreasonable to threaten your children and others, that was out of order.

valiumredhead · 30/08/2013 15:58

THREE kids nearly bashed into me today, I'm sure their mums thought they were well behaved too. I can relate to the last with the stickWink

I live in fear of someone bashing into my ankle since having a bad accident a few years ago.

valiumredhead · 30/08/2013 15:58

Lady not last

MrsTerryPratchett · 30/08/2013 15:58

Could all the people threatening old ladies, children and each other on this thread stop acting like drunk monkeys and step back. Honestly, it's no wonder children have issues with behaviour when their parents can't stop themselves threatening complete strangers on the internet.

Do I have to come over there and knock your heads together?

YouTheCat · 30/08/2013 15:59

She was unreasonable to say she'd push children into the road.

But OP is unreasonable anyway. Paths are for pedestrians, pushchairs and mobility devices - not for bikes (unless it is specified) and not for bloody stupid scooters.

If they want to scoot go to the park. Wheel them back on the way home. Easy.

Arnie123 · 30/08/2013 15:59

Ok Terry I will calm down now!

Lweji · 30/08/2013 16:00

This Summer I have had to ask a surf instructor if he was prepared to be taken to court if one of his charges hit my DS (or me) on the head with a surf board.
Don't paddle in front of the surfboards springs to mind FFS....

Were you there to make such assumptions?

If we try to stay out of their way, they are out of their designated area, and start coming towards us in a heavily used beach, with young children, then I will be pissed off and will call the police.

MrsTerryPratchett · 30/08/2013 16:00

That's alright then

SirChenjin · 30/08/2013 16:01

She was BU - sounds like my batty MIL actually.

valiumredhead · 30/08/2013 16:02

When ds used to ride his scooter, number one rule was to stop and wait when he was near anyone.

valiumredhead · 30/08/2013 16:02

Anyone? Someone?Confused

timidviper · 30/08/2013 16:04

I will be interested to see how those of you who think the world should revolve around your little darlings will react in the future. Will you decide in 10 years time that the teenagers can do no wrong and small children are badly behaved pains?

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie · 30/08/2013 16:06

Grin at Arnie offering me out for a fight! I love Mumsnet. Nowhere else on the internet can you get advice on the 11plus AND get offered out for a fight!

SirChenjin · 30/08/2013 16:07

Crikey - how do children ever move on a scooter if they have to stop every single time someone comes near them? Mine just know to take care and not go too fast if there is someone on the footpath, but beyond that it's not up to them to hop off every time just in case they encounter some idiot who threatens to push them into the road which would be the last threat they ever made

Silverfoxballs · 30/08/2013 16:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mrspremise · 30/08/2013 16:08

Oh, children on scooters have become a real nightmare in the centre of the town nearest to us this summer. It's a lovely seaside town but the high street has become nothing short of an assault course avoiding the little brats whizzing up and down on their scooters while their parents ignore them. Just because you're on holiday doesn't mean everyone is, or that the boundaries of basic courtesy have moved. Angry

FrogsGoWhat · 30/08/2013 16:10

Personally I think YABU. She had to keep restating that she was not SCARED. How patronising to assume she was scared.

Your children should NOT race past people. I think children on scooters or bikes on a pavement with pedestrians are dangerous. I have been nearly knocked into several times recently and I am a fairly fit person. Currently I have SPD so cannot swerve out of the way and have been clipped a couple of times which the parent, a couple of metres behind, has not even noticed.

Get your children to dismount or dramatically slow down when passing pedestrians - especially ones that could have the quality of their life destroyed with a simple fall.

MurderOfGoths · 30/08/2013 16:11

Does worry me how so many people are being dismissive of the real harm that can be caused by crashing into older people. Do we not all have older relations? I know my elderly relatives are vulnerable and would hate for them to get hurt in such an unnecessary way.

Yes the woman was a bit OTT in the threats to push the children into the road, but she had a valid reason to be upset.

AllDirections · 30/08/2013 16:12

YABU OP but then there are many more people like you.

I too have problems walking and keeping my balance. I'm sick to death of scooters on pavements, of parents who don't seem to care about anyone but themselves. I particularly hate it when children stop at certain points to wait for their parents because I have to stop to let them by (because they are out of control and are scooting on your heels if you don't) and then we pass them whilst they wait. Then I have to stop to let them by, etc. etc.

I've seen too many accidents to not feel anxious about it and although the woman was unreasonable in what she said I think she probably meant that she would put out her stick to protect herself. If a scooter was heading straight for me or DD3 then I would absolutely put my foot out to prevent the child colliding with us.

How many people trot alongside children when they are scooting rather than let them go a 20 metres ahead?
I do this with DD3 (6) unless we're in a park or on the promenade which have wide paths.

SirChenjin · 30/08/2013 16:14

Perhaps she did have a valid excuse, but nothing excuses a threat to push children into the road with a stick. If a young bloke had said that there would have been uproar on here. Just because she's older doesn't mean she isn't a prat.

OddBoots · 30/08/2013 16:15

She was unreasonable to say that but she seems to have been speaking out of fear.

I'm another disabled person, scooters coming towards me on the pavement are terrifying as I have reduced balance and I am one fall away from my spinal cord tearing irreparably (it's stuck to the inside of my spine rather than free floating).

If you have children with scooters please wait until they are of an age to appreciate the vulnerability of others and slow/stop for them before they are out of your grabbing reach - most children won't be able to to this until about 7 or 8 but you know your own child.

Bramshott · 30/08/2013 16:15

I think the phrase you needed was "gosh a foot is very near - I do hope they didn't get that close!". My hunch is that they weren't anywhere NEAR that close to her, but if they were, then obviously that's something which needs discussing with them strongly.