To expect to orgasm every time I have sex?

[Feckssake]

My H has ED issues and we are due to see his Doctor in a few weeks' time. I'm expecting to be asked what I want from our sex life, but I'm pretty inexperienced, apart from with H, so I don't know if this is a reasonable thing to expect or not. I orgasm just fine from manual stimulation, but my H can't keep hard long enough for me to get myself to that point from penetrative sex. Do most people orgasm every time they have sex, or is that just the media? A bit of perspective would be great, thanks.

How many men would be satisfied only ever with non PIV orgasms?

I dont orgasm from piv either. Like most othersnhave said it takes manual srimulation too. I have a couple of times in the past, and im not upset about it not happening all the time!
I dont orgasm everytime we have sex. And now and again neither does dp. Dont gwt me wrong, I would not complain about it happening everytime....but sometimes it just doesn't!

If its a quikie id expect us both to orgasm baecause for us thats the point of it. Whereas if we are taking our time etc then for me its also about the intimacy and having fun.

Nobody has said on this thread that if you don't orgasm through PIV then that is the end of it. Nobody has said women should STFU is they don't orgasm with their partner.

The predominant response here is that many women can't/don't orgasm via penetration but have worked out with their partners, past and present, the best way to make sure it happens.

There is a very sound anatomical reason why PIV does not automatically equal female orgasm every time, particularly without extra stimulation. Making women feel defective because they need something extra is a shitty thing to do, and that kind of comment often arises from some kind of insecurity/unhappiness in the perpetrator.

Bonsoir, lots of gay men

It is always too early to mention anal beads.

Bonsoir.....I dont know many women who orgasm purely through piv. It is not the be all and end all. Some of the best sex ive ever had has harsly included any piv.Everyones different. And for the rexord dp enjoys stimulation I otherways too. We went through a perios of 6 months where I was unable to actually have sex. He had no complaints about how we got aeound it!

Bonsoir, will you replace your hard-cocked lothario with a younger version when it all starts to go a bit soft with age ?

@ you must do a crap BJ

I probably orgasm about 90% of the time from all kinds of sexual contact, but not that often from PIV sex alone. My BF orgasms much less often than I do which is a bit crap but we're working on that.

Most of the time I want an orgasm out of sex but sometimes I just want the intimacy and an orgasm is an added bonus!

I do understand what some posters mean about orgasming every time though and actively wanting to.

I really wouldn't want sex very much if I did not orgasm as, yes all the intimacy is nice, but I have sex to have great orgasms primarily.

Does this mean that I am actually a man....?

Oh, uglyfuckling, you've made me laugh more on this thread than I have laughed in days. I love you.

In my experience and through drunken chats with most male ex-housemates penetrative sex following by BJ to 'finish it in style' is their Happy Day

Seriously, though, whatever rocks everyone's boat. As long as you're both happy with it.

Have orgasmed once through PIV sex with DH. That was also the time we had simultaneous orgasms - I had thought both things were a myth so it was v pleasant surprise

God knows how it happened as we've never managed it again. And our sex life is mighty satisfying thank-you

With my doctor hat on, I think it possible that the ED dr will ask you what is happening from your perspective and what the problem is.

However if you answer 'the problem is I don't have a vaginal orgasm everytime' she will battle to keep a straight face and after you've left tell the receptionist that her last patient was married to a nutter. Sorry but she will.

This is NOT about you not having a vaginal orgasm. It's about his ED. Useful things would be how hard he gets, how long he lasts, where exactly it is going wrong. I think you should think about phrasing your answer like this. This will also be not nearly as distressing for your DH either as suddenly announcing your expectation for him to be a superstud.

I hardly even finish with penetrative sex alone, unless I'm on top and then I find it much easier. My husband always sorts me out in other ways but from speaking to friends I think it's common for a woman to need more than penetrative sex to enjoy themselves.

Bonsoir, you are suggesting all women can and should orgasm through penetrative sex, as if this Is the only truly satisfactory experience. It is fact many women CAN'T orgasm this way. Suggesting that a woman is surely in denial about enjoying sex if she cannot come in this way is sexist and belittling, no? For what its worth, I come every time but never through penetration. I physically cannot. I am not 'settling' it just doesn't happen that way for me, it is nothing to be ashamed of.

OP, just to stress what has already been said: many women cannot orgasm through penetration alone, but can be completely satisfied before during or after sex with added manual stimulation or oral. As long as you are satisfied with the whole experience that is all that matters. For some women and men an orgasm is integral to defining this, for others it simply isn't as important.

I very rarely reached orgasm though penatrative sex but generally did with a bit of manual which never detracted from the pleasure in the slightest. I am now 48 and I dated someone for a few months who was totally unsuitable for me. For some reason every single time we had sex I orgasmed about 3 or 4 times with penatrative sex alone. God only knows how or why but that's what happened.

The ability to orgasm through PIV alone is basically anatomical, so Bonsoir is perhaps onto something about British women being fatter than the French. It's probably a lot easier if you are built from gristle and clitoris.

That said, I don't think it matters- to paraphrase the song, I don't care how you get there, just get there if you can

Bloody hell, that image just put me off my nightly Duty Orgasm

It's very rare for either DP or I to orgasm through PIV because I have a fanjo like a wizard's sleeve

It's fun and we both enjoy it for a bit, but there are easier and better ways for us both to get there and that means we can each concentrate on the other without being distracted.

I would find always coming through penetration a bit boring I think.