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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect to orgasm every time I have sex?

131 replies

Feckssake · 29/08/2013 13:29

My H has ED issues and we are due to see his Doctor in a few weeks' time. I'm expecting to be asked what I want from our sex life, but I'm pretty inexperienced, apart from with H, so I don't know if this is a reasonable thing to expect or not. I orgasm just fine from manual stimulation, but my H can't keep hard long enough for me to get myself to that point from penetrative sex. Do most people orgasm every time they have sex, or is that just the media? A bit of perspective would be great, thanks.

OP posts:
BOF · 29/08/2013 17:16

Oh people can surprise you and be rougher and readier than you think, TheUglyFucking. You can't get better than a Kwik Fit fitter...Grin

TheUglyFuckling · 29/08/2013 17:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

reelingintheyears · 29/08/2013 17:19

Ignore Bonsoir, she said on an earlier thread that she likes a good goad. Hmm

northernlurker · 29/08/2013 17:19

Indeed.

FunnysInLaJardin · 29/08/2013 17:20

lol BOF. If only I'd concentrate more. Silly me

peteypiranha · 29/08/2013 17:21

Men wouldnt be impressed if they frequently had sex and didnt orgasm so I am sure not going to be. I think when people say a woman should just be happy with the closeness, love blah blah then they are being a bit sexist and old fashioned

Bonsoir · 29/08/2013 17:22

I think women are in denial about sex and think their experience is good enough when it could be a lot better. And, judging from the strength of the response on this thread, denial seems to be widespread here.

reelingintheyears · 29/08/2013 17:24

I wouldn't say just be happy with the closeness, we all like a good shag and having an orgasm is fabulous, just we all have different ones and in different ways.

When I c

Bonsoir · 29/08/2013 17:24

Indeed, thinking women should be content with a cuddle and no orgasm is fantastically sexist.

TheUglyFuckling · 29/08/2013 17:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Binkyridesagain · 29/08/2013 17:25

Have I just stumbled onto a thread where women are trying to tell other women what they should enjoy and if they don't then they are in denial or broken?

AmazingBouncingFerret · 29/08/2013 17:26

The trick OP, is to make sure he sorts you out first before any penetration, then anything that happens after that is a bonus.

HTH Wink

Seriously though, hope all goes well when you see the doctor.

northernlurker · 29/08/2013 17:28

Yup you have Binky.

The only reasonable motto for a woman's sex life is surely 'Anything goes'. If it gets you off then who cares what gets you off

Geddit? Insert........

TheSecondComing · 29/08/2013 17:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GoshAnneGorilla · 29/08/2013 17:28

BOF - thank you, you've made me laugh out loud in public Grin

I never used to orgasm via penetrative sex until a few years ago, it seems to have been a post birth positive for me. Prior to that, I/we happily used other means.

I do like an orgasm everytime, but also sex is far more then just orgasms for me.

I do sometimes think that media fixations on orgasms + unrealistic depictions of sex, mean that other aspects of pleasure get overlooked.

TheUglyFuckling · 29/08/2013 17:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AnyFucker · 29/08/2013 17:30

Binky, that about sums it up. Except there are only two of these "superorgasming women", the rest of us are a little more pragmatic and still have one eye on the actual OP who is struggling with something very personal.

Good luck, OP. You deserve to get the best out of sex, and of course that "best" is a very individual goal for every person.

wordfactory · 29/08/2013 17:32

I'd be disappointed if I didn't get an orgasm every time I had sex.

TBH I'd always had orgasms since I became sexually active (way before having penetrative sex). When I did start having PIV, I just assumed orgasms would carry on, and I would certainly tell people if it wasn't working.

Maybe I'm bossy?

TheSecondComing · 29/08/2013 17:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

wordfactory · 29/08/2013 17:34

I don't always have them or indeed want them via PIV sex though.

Binkyridesagain · 29/08/2013 17:37

I like rope bondage, if the superorgasmers don't like it then IMO they are broken and in denial about their sex life.

summertimeandthelivingiseasy · 29/08/2013 17:38

The secret to more orgasms, apparently:

www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/the_secret_to_more_female_orgasms.htm#.Uh94iH-yw08

Not sure I would be happy with sex with no orgasm, but PIV does not work for everyone.

TheUglyFuckling · 29/08/2013 17:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

wordfactory · 29/08/2013 17:41

If women can't orgasm through PIV sex, should that really be and end to it for them?

Making do with a cuddle and closeness, when there are so many other ways to achieve it?

Shouldn't women be explaining this stuff to their partners, rather than going without?

peteypiranha · 29/08/2013 17:41

Op there is nothing wrong with ecpecting to be sexually satisfied eveey sex session
It must be difficult having ed issues in the relationship but there are still hands, tongue, yoys etc. Its best to have one orgasm first from foreplay and then have sex. I use a lot of clitoral stimulation during sex either his hands, mine or toys.