To expect to orgasm every time I have sex?

[Feckssake]

My H has ED issues and we are due to see his Doctor in a few weeks' time. I'm expecting to be asked what I want from our sex life, but I'm pretty inexperienced, apart from with H, so I don't know if this is a reasonable thing to expect or not. I orgasm just fine from manual stimulation, but my H can't keep hard long enough for me to get myself to that point from penetrative sex. Do most people orgasm every time they have sex, or is that just the media? A bit of perspective would be great, thanks.

I have never orgasmed through penetrative sex , only manually afterwards. I used to think there was something wrong with me but have since found out its quite normal.

Oh thank god. I thought ot was just me.

so in answer to your question which I enjoy sex..I dont orgasm hardly ever with it. Manual is the only way!

I've been with my partner about 6 years and from about 6 months /a year in to our relationship I've orgasmed every time. With other men it's been very on and off. I don't orgasm from penetrative alone but penetration definitely helps!! If it's missionary or me on top then the grinding into him helps. If it's doggy etc...then clitoral stimulation is needed. However, I do read Erotic fiction and sometimes watch porn so that helps with fantasies when with partner (i use my mind a lot during sex).

I think the time has come to just tell the truth, otherwise it's still a secret between you. If its just that he does it too quickly for you and you would like things to last longer then say so. There are techniques you can learn as a couple to help. If he's losing his erection before orgasming himself then there are lots of different treatments to help.

You might be better seeing a sex therapist together, rather than just an ED Dr/nurse. Especially in view of the fact that some of the problem is likely to be to do with your relationship (trust/honesty/pressures etc).

nhs linky or you can contact relate.

PS. I think it's just the movies where women orgasm at the slightest touch of a mans erect penis! YANBU to want to have plenty of them though.

A lot of women don't orgasm through penetrative sex, I do occasionally but for everything else there's his tongue, either of our fingers or my rabbit.

Some women don't orgasm through clit stimulation either, it just doesn't do it for them or they go numb too quick.

You don't need to orgasm every time, it's up to you but the sex has to be very satisfying whether you do or don't. Sometimes I don't orgasm at all, he or I finish me off after so I do or I don't need it

Some orgasm facts:

www.womansday.com/sex-relationships/sex-tips/10-surprising-facts-about-orgasms-111985

Or rather should say don't have to orgasm every time, it's whether you want to or not. Personally i think saying anyone-male or female- needs to orgasm every time is already putting strain on the players before it begins. Sometimes I do, sometimes I don't- i just more often do. Same as DP.

Yes, forgot to say, hardly ever with PIV sex.

How old is he? ED can be a sign of heart disease.

I think orgasm from penetrative sex is normal and to be expected for both partners every time and that there is something wrong with either or both if you if it doesn't happen.

I know this is an unpopular viewpoint on MN... I also think a lot of women just don't realise what they are missing out on and that to have great sex requires a lot of practice, most of which is mental...

You do come out with some crap sometimes Bonsoir

Try being less Angry - helps you let go in bed...

I orgasm every sex session. It wouldnt be finished until we both had unless we were really drunk or something.

For me sex isn't just the penetration bit, it's the whole shebang. I don't think I've ever had a mind blowing experience from penetrative sex alone. Exceptions are if DH is behind me.

As I said its the whole thing, the foreplay, mutual stimulation with hands and oral. I would expect at least one orgasm every time we have sex, just not from penetration alone.

Do you enjoy it are you being stimulated by it then I dont see the orgasim every time issue It isn't always like it is in the films all that panting and screaming if you are having an orgasim (sp) then it shouldn't matter if he is in our out

oh yes i expect one and if i dont im not amused

How can you have sex and be satisfied not orgasming? Does it not get people frustrated?

Bonsoir do you think British women don't orgasm through penetrative sex because they don't bother to keep themselves thin and groomed enough by any chance?

The other thing is to remember sex should be fun, not a serious exercise. We usually have a laugh or mutual tease. Fun increases the enjoyment - it helps you both to relax and just go with the flow, rather than be tensed up waiting for the big O to happen.

Bonsoir - that's an interesting theory

I have never orgasmed from just penetrative sex. I've orgasmed in lots of other ways. I am v happy to sometimes have sex with DH and NOT orgasm - it doesn't leave me feeling any less satisfied or loved. Sometimes I really feel I need the release / excitement of orgasm.

I have never orgasmed through penetrative sex, we are working on it DH is convinced it will happen.

I don't think it will nor do I need it to, it is usually manual stimulation at the same time as PIV that does it for me.

Ive never ever orgasmed from penatritive sex.

Always through oral sex or manual from DH before or after.

It might be unreasonable to always have one from penetration but I would definitely expect one every time from oral or clit stimulation during sex. I wouldnt be impressed if I didnt.