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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think this man was horrid

145 replies

dunkedbiscuits · 25/08/2013 13:25

Went to buy DS some wellies so pulled into a car parking space. It's a tight car park and so when I opened my car door it rested on next doors car. I did NOT bash it or open my door hard or anything. Anyway when I got out and turned around this small fat man with a beard (definitely NOT Santa) said 'you'll pay for any damage you've done to my car'. I shut my car door and looked at his car there were no marks, scratches or even dirt transferred to his car. I replied 'but I haven't scratched your car' and then tried to get DS out of my car.
He then said 'that's only because I was here otherwise you would have damaged it.' I was a bit opened mouthed at this and just repeated that I hadn't done anything to his car. He just seemed to be looking for a fight. I really wanted to say that 1. I hadn't damaged his precious car (that had other large dents in),2. That he was stood behind me and I didn't know he was there when I got out. And 3. How the hell was I meant to know it was his car as he stood quite far away from it.
I ignored him after that but he was really aggressive and I expected to come back to find my car damaged.
He made me feel rubbish though, hate confrontation and only think of good things to say afterwards. Did mention it to the shop though in case he was worried to anyone else.
So if that man or his wife is reading this I want to say that I hope you have a lovely day and hope that the bug that is firmly wedged up your arse eventually falls out.

OP posts:

LessMissAbs · 25/08/2013 20:20

I strongly suspect it is just as much conjecture on the part of the OP that there wasn't damage as that there was...

Simple way to avoid all this carry on - don't touch other people's property.

btw I take it the OP is also a supermodel and beyond physical question herself.

LessMissAbs · 25/08/2013 20:21

Meaning that I have a slight tendency to disbelieve people who think there is nothing wrong with resting car doors on other cars...

KellyHopter · 25/08/2013 20:24

It wouldn't be conjecture on op's part though, she was there. What you're saying is you suspect she's lying.

Given how keen the man was to have a go about the possibility of damage I'm quite sure he would have made sure.

Mojavewonderer · 25/08/2013 20:24

Oh for goodness sake she didn't hit his car with her door they gently touched! If she had slammed her car door into his then yes he had a right to be annoyed but she didn't so get over it!

Chopchopbusybusy · 25/08/2013 20:24

Sirchenjin, I agree about the conjecture on this thread. You say the man drove away. Where exactly in the OP does it say that?

SirChenjin · 25/08/2013 20:25

There is nothing wrong with resting your car door on another - it does not cause damage, unless you throw it open. The OP did not do that. The man acknowledged (in a roundabout way) that there was no damage. The man had ample opportunity to check for damage before he drove away while the OP was in the shop. The OP has not heard from his insurance company which would indicate he has not changed his mind since the non-incident took place.

There was no damage and no amount of conjecture and willing it to be otherwise will change that.

SirChenjin · 25/08/2013 20:30

Yes, that is true Chop - conjecture on my part. I apologise profusely for suggesting that he drove away. He may of course simply been standing next to his car all day, or he may have just got out of his car, or he may have been getting into it before driving away. We do not know this. The only thing we do know is that there was no damage.

VerySmallSqueak · 25/08/2013 20:33

For all those who would be so wounded by this resting on of doors:

Would you do what this man did?

It's what it boils down to,really.

LessMissAbs · 25/08/2013 20:34

KellyHopter It wouldn't be conjecture on op's part though, she was there. What you're saying is you suspect she's lying

I suspect the OP doesn't share the attention to detail that many people do. Therefore I would not necessarily trust her judgement in how hard she opened her car door against another car. Its just something I simply wouldn't do in the first place. I don't want to risk damaging someone else's property.

SirChenjin ditto.

topknob · 25/08/2013 20:37

The second your door touched mine, I would also have mentioned it to you. I am VERY touchy about my car !

SirChenjin · 25/08/2013 20:43

My goodness - some perspective is needed here. There was no damage, and the man behaved like an arse. Regardless of your suspicions (wtf?!) about the OP (whom I presume you've never actually met in RL..) the OPs car door did not cause any scratches or scrapes, whilst the man continued to accuse of not damaging it only because he was there. He sounds bonkers - a complete over-reaction.

ShellyBoobs · 25/08/2013 20:48

SirChenjin - I'm baffled as to how you can so confidently say that:

a) there's nothing wrong with resting your car door on another as it doesn't cause damage.

b) that there was no damage done by the OP - your emphasis.

Are you an expert in car bodywork and detailing, or something?

KnightMare · 25/08/2013 20:50

oh my gosh, if you're still reading this op I totally understand where you're coming from. People are so twatty when it comes to their precious automobiles, you were obviously doing what you could to keep either car from getting damaged, you did well not to smack him one!

Quangle · 25/08/2013 20:57

All the people getting upset at someone else's door touching their car remind me of the people who get in a fight if someone spills their beer. I never think I am in the least bit laid back but then I encounter people on MN who view a car door resting on their car as "unacceptable behaviour" which is how I would describe drink driving or tailgating or speeding.

I have had a road rage incident happen to me and now I sort of understand why. I was actually at fault in the incident - which I made clear and apologised for - and no damage whatsoever was done or could have been done (it was a 3mph incident so no danger either). But the rage was absolutely out of control - I felt my life was in danger! I realise now I come from a very different place with regard to cars.

Just an observation really. Not expecting to change anyone's view.

FranSanDisco · 25/08/2013 20:58

But there was no damage as the accuser acknowledged this, although saying it was because he was nearby. He then had ample time to check for hidden damage, fine scratches and 'bruising' when OP was in the shop. He could not find anything to substantiate his accusations. End of ..

VerySmallSqueak · 25/08/2013 21:03

Quangle that is the thing isn't it.

Some people are getting so wound up at the injustice of someone not respecting their car they've worked so hard for,yet they are glossing over the disproportionately aggressive behaviour of this man.

It is just not ok to act like this man over something so completely minor.

The op's ds was there. His attitude was inappropriate to the situation.

BlingBang · 25/08/2013 21:26

If your going to get worked up about non existent damage to heaps of metal - then maybe you should walk, get public transport or get on your horse. Still refuse to belive there are people put there who have never touched another car with their doors.

LessMissAbs · 25/08/2013 21:41

VerySmallSqueak Some people are getting so wound up at the injustice of someone not respecting their car they've worked so hard for,yet they are glossing over the disproportionately aggressive behaviour of this man

Since when did someone speaking to you about their worry that you have damaged their property become "aggressive behaviour"? Its perfectly normal interaction with other people in the world. Not everyone goes around singing about fluffy bunny rabbits.

Is it just me, or does anyone else find the OP's language slightly juvenile - seriously, a "horrid" man, who definatley wasn't "Santa Claus", a "small fat man with a beard", a bizarre mention of a wife who wasn't even there (and possibly doesn't exist). Jesus Christ, a minor confrontation, as a result of the OP's own disreguard for other people's property, and suddenly she is some great victim of injustice to whom no other human beings should speak, less she become upset.

And yes, "BlingBang" I make an effort not to bash other people's car doors, its a perfectly normal thing to do. Not caring about other people's property might be normal in your world and some other's but to me is antisocial behaviour. So don't be surprised if other people don't tolerate it.

VerySmallSqueak · 25/08/2013 21:58

I am basing this on the op's account which is all any of us have to go on.

He said 'you'll pay for any damage you've done to my car' . The op says he seemed to be looking for a fight and that he was aggressive.

Someone speaking about their worry that their property has been damaged can be done in a non aggressive way.

It appears it was not,however, done in a non aggressive way.

Clearly speaking of singing about fluffy bunny rabbits is less juvenile than talking about Santa Claus

I do not think the op's description of the man is called for,in all fairness,and I have said this.

BoulevardOfBrokenSleep · 25/08/2013 22:25

I suggest that anyone who describes something which loses 10% of its value the day you buy it, as an 'investment', needs a strong cup of tea and a lengthy chat with a financial adviser.

ShellyBoobs · 25/08/2013 23:05

I suggest anyone who thinks that all investments are made in the hope that they will increase in value should have a word with someone, too, Boulevard.

There is more than one definition of 'investment', although you seem to imply otherwise.

What about someone saying that they've invested in a good pair of winter boots that should last them a few years?

Should they have "a lengthy chat with a financial adviser", too?

chateauferret · 26/08/2013 08:41

He's an obnoxious twat. Answer to such people is: "show me the damage to your car". If he can't, he can fuck off.

chateauferret · 26/08/2013 08:43

Oh, and if he doesn't want other people parking next to himhe can always go and find another space.

Original poster

dunkedbiscuits · 26/08/2013 09:10

Blimey I'm busy for a bit and the thread goes a little bit crazy.

There was NO damage. He even said 'well there would have been if I hadn't been here'. Like I would have deliberately banged doors (just to state clearly that I don't go round doing this. Things on here tend to get twisted).
I lightly rested the door and would have held it but had to use both hands to get myself out of the car as I am disabled. But I suspect some of you still won't believe me. Plus there was a wife but suppose could have been sister, girlfriend, friend. I didn't actually ask.

It was a very minor incident in which he was overly agressive. That is all.

Thank you to those who have appreciated that it's not nice to be in that situation. On the plus side yesterday my DM came home from hospital so we get to see her.

OP posts:

BlingBang · 26/08/2013 09:52

Lesmiss - ever the drama llama. I imagine you going about life constantly shouting and blustering - or maybe you just save it for Mn.

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