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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think this man was horrid

145 replies

dunkedbiscuits · 25/08/2013 13:25

Went to buy DS some wellies so pulled into a car parking space. It's a tight car park and so when I opened my car door it rested on next doors car. I did NOT bash it or open my door hard or anything. Anyway when I got out and turned around this small fat man with a beard (definitely NOT Santa) said 'you'll pay for any damage you've done to my car'. I shut my car door and looked at his car there were no marks, scratches or even dirt transferred to his car. I replied 'but I haven't scratched your car' and then tried to get DS out of my car.
He then said 'that's only because I was here otherwise you would have damaged it.' I was a bit opened mouthed at this and just repeated that I hadn't done anything to his car. He just seemed to be looking for a fight. I really wanted to say that 1. I hadn't damaged his precious car (that had other large dents in),2. That he was stood behind me and I didn't know he was there when I got out. And 3. How the hell was I meant to know it was his car as he stood quite far away from it.
I ignored him after that but he was really aggressive and I expected to come back to find my car damaged.
He made me feel rubbish though, hate confrontation and only think of good things to say afterwards. Did mention it to the shop though in case he was worried to anyone else.
So if that man or his wife is reading this I want to say that I hope you have a lovely day and hope that the bug that is firmly wedged up your arse eventually falls out.

OP posts:
Fillyjonk75 · 25/08/2013 15:50

Not anger, incredulity.

SueDoku · 25/08/2013 15:52

I suppose some people just don't give a shit about other people's property, unfortunately the selfish fuckers.

You don't think that this sounds angry..? Hmm

ShellyBoobs · 25/08/2013 15:57

No, SueDoku, I don't.

It's an observation based upon the number of people on this thread who think it's acceptable to risk damaging other people's property.

It's hardly saying 'I'd punch someone who damaged my car', is it.

FranSanDisco · 25/08/2013 15:57

SueDoku, glad I was not the only person to think that was OTT.

Shelly, that's why I said you sounded unhinged - a total over reaction to an OP that had stated no damage had been done.

cushtie335 · 25/08/2013 16:01

I'm really surprised at some of the vitriol directed at the OP. She was obviously a bit shaken up by the whole thing and has made the mistake of looking for sympathy from a load of deranged petrol heads.

FranSanDisco · 25/08/2013 16:02

PMSL at petrol heads Grin.

Backtobedlam · 25/08/2013 16:07

Resting your door on someone else's car could easily cause damage, especially if you so much as touch it when getting your son out. The guy doesn't sound as if he was overally aggressive either...not swearing or anything.

Personally, I get so fed up of parking my car with plenty of space either side to get kids in and out, and then coming back to find someone has parked ridiculously close.

SueDoku · 25/08/2013 16:07

A car is just a (very expensive) lump of metal that's used to get you from A to B (and hopefully back to A..!).

I bought a new car when I retired recently; the first week that I had it, someone opened their door and put a tiny dent into my passenger door - meh...
It happens, and fretting about minor damage to a lump of metal needs to be weighed up against whether your family is okay... You can buy another lump of metal, but not another DM.
I'm really sorry about your DM OP Flowers

Ghanagirl · 25/08/2013 16:07

YANBU, I'm surprised that a lot of posters are so rude, if you think OP is being unreasonable just say that why the insults.

Alisvolatpropiis · 25/08/2013 16:10

I'd have just looked at him blankly until he fucked off.

Some people really aren't worth the time or effort of making a response.

Someone resting their car door against mine wouldn't bother me at all.

primroseyellow · 25/08/2013 16:10

I've had a very similar experience, again from a man in an old tatty car - IME there is a certain type of male driver that behaves like this towards female drivers. IMO they are essentially unreconstructed sexist pigs who basically think women cannot/should not drive and are almost disappointed to find their car has not actually been damaged. Just hold onto the fact that you failed to give him the satisfaction of doing that. And it is upsetting to have this sort of encounter because of the accusatory manner in which one is spoken to, I don't think these characters would dare to speak to a muscular 6ft male in the same way.
Many car park spaces are too narrow especially for getting small children in and out. My car is covered in dents and scratches that have occurred in car parks when I wasn't there.
The self-righteous brigade are out in force today aren't they? Ignore the perfect people and enjoy the rest of your day.

Chopchopbusybusy · 25/08/2013 16:23

Primrose. You're making it all up now. Please don't try to turn this into a sexist issue. I'm female and the OP would have pissed me off by 'resting' her car door on mine.

ShellyBoobs · 25/08/2013 17:33

A car is just a (very expensive) lump of metal that's used to get you from A to B (and hopefully back to A..!)

The thing is, Sue, you can say the same about any possession.

I, for instance, don't give a toss about gardens. I couldn't care less if our lawns are perfect, etc. and don't care if dd's friends want to come and play football on it, leaving it patchy and damaged.

Other people who be apoplectic at coming home to find their back garden looking like it's hosted an international rugby match.

What about carpets? They're just a (sometimes very expensive) floor covering. They're meant for walking on but some people wouldn't dream of letting anyone set foot on theirs with shoes on.

What one person might think of as a lump of metal is the equivalent of another's cherished garden, only much more expensive and far more difficult to repair.

KellyHopter · 25/08/2013 17:38

But that's only comparable if people were talking about a 'selfish fucker' who tiptoed across a lawn causing no damage whatsoever but COULD HAVE!

Op caused no damage, she was careful, all of these comments are about touching someone else's car. It's weird.

LizzieJones · 25/08/2013 17:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SirChenjin · 25/08/2013 17:42

He was an arse. Unless you threw open the door (and you patently didn't) you should have handed him a much needed grip and told him to stick it.

Ghanagirl · 25/08/2013 19:11

Chopchopbusybusy
Please someone touching your car door with theirs makes you cross, please get a life!

Chopchopbusybusy · 25/08/2013 19:33

Ghanagirl. Don't be so patronising.
Everyone seems to be making up their own little stories now that the OP has disappeared.
Yes if someone had squeezed into a space that was too small and was leaning their open door on my car I would be pissed off as would many other people on this thread.

Maybe the OP should invest in some additional driving lessons with the emphasis on parking.

Ghanagirl · 25/08/2013 19:37

Maybe she OP lives in London where parkings hellish, but even if she doesn't I really can't understand someone getting aggressive because you touched their car door leaving NO mark or scratch, seems a tad weird to me.

insummeritrains · 25/08/2013 19:41

He just sounds like an angry, short, fat little man. Ignore him, OP, he probably has a miserable life if he has to treat strangers like that. Feel sorry for him instead of being upset.

Quangle · 25/08/2013 19:44

agree with Ghanagirl. Someone resting their car door on my car to get in would really not be a problem. And sometimes it's unavoidable - you may have had loads of space when you arrived but if a bigger car parked alongside you while you were away from the car you'd have no choice but to wriggle into your car. Hasn't everyone done that? Squeeze in one leg at a time because there's no room at all and the car door is open as far as it can go due to another car alongside? Maybe it's a London thing. I live in central London and there's no way on earth I could get away with this degree of sensitivity about my car and remain sane.

I can see that some people care about their cars greatly (and I don't) but in the end, cars are moving bits of equipment that need to be able to withstand the normal movement of other cars and people around them. They are not made out of cobwebs.

He sounds annoying to me - but you were BU to mention his size and the condition of his car.

SirChenjin · 25/08/2013 19:46

Someone resting their car door on your car door would piss you off?? Really?? Jeez Louise....

And how exactly does someone 'squeeze' into a space that is too small? Unless of course the person on the other side has parked like a knob, of course....

Chopchopbusybusy · 25/08/2013 19:48

Oh FFS ghanagirl there are parking problems everywhere not just London.
Maybe all the people that are happy to have their cars dented just have really shit cars.
In the words of my teenagers "whatevs"

KellyHopter · 25/08/2013 19:50

Chopchop - the point is the car wasn't damaged! You're all getting wound up about a car lightly touching another car leaving no mark whatsoever!

KellyHopter · 25/08/2013 19:50

And what's wrong with having a 'really shit' car?

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