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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think this man was horrid

145 replies

dunkedbiscuits · 25/08/2013 13:25

Went to buy DS some wellies so pulled into a car parking space. It's a tight car park and so when I opened my car door it rested on next doors car. I did NOT bash it or open my door hard or anything. Anyway when I got out and turned around this small fat man with a beard (definitely NOT Santa) said 'you'll pay for any damage you've done to my car'. I shut my car door and looked at his car there were no marks, scratches or even dirt transferred to his car. I replied 'but I haven't scratched your car' and then tried to get DS out of my car.
He then said 'that's only because I was here otherwise you would have damaged it.' I was a bit opened mouthed at this and just repeated that I hadn't done anything to his car. He just seemed to be looking for a fight. I really wanted to say that 1. I hadn't damaged his precious car (that had other large dents in),2. That he was stood behind me and I didn't know he was there when I got out. And 3. How the hell was I meant to know it was his car as he stood quite far away from it.
I ignored him after that but he was really aggressive and I expected to come back to find my car damaged.
He made me feel rubbish though, hate confrontation and only think of good things to say afterwards. Did mention it to the shop though in case he was worried to anyone else.
So if that man or his wife is reading this I want to say that I hope you have a lovely day and hope that the bug that is firmly wedged up your arse eventually falls out.

OP posts:
mynameisslimshady · 25/08/2013 14:04

A gentle yabu, you shouldn't really have put your door on his. He could have handled it better though, although I guess he wasn't to know you were in pain.

I'm sorry to read about your arthritis and that you DM is so ill Sad . Try not to dwell on this too much, you have more than enough to cope with atm Thanks

Fairenuff · 25/08/2013 14:12

Did mention it to the shop though in case he was worried to anyone else.

What does this mean?

toomuchtoask · 25/08/2013 14:18

I would be utterly fuming if your car door was rested on mine. Not far between that and it leading to a scratch.

People pay thousands for cars. A huge investment.

He might have handled it badly but I can see why. You seem to think it's ok what you did.

londonrach · 25/08/2013 14:19

You are in the wrong full stop for 'resting' your car door on another person's properly. Maybe this situation will make you think next time. If it was my car I'd say something as I saved and saved to buy my car and couldn't afford to buy another. That poor man might have done the same and your carelessness throughless behaviour could have damaged it.

Fillyjonk75 · 25/08/2013 14:27

Sometimes I have to rest my door on another car as the spaces are too small and we couldn't get out of the car otherwise, and I'm not massive and neither is the car, it's a family estate car. Unfortunately some car parks are not well designed or someone has parked too far over in another space and there is only one left. No matter how well you park this could not be avoided.

I don't want to scratch my car either so I'm extremely careful like the OP was. No-one has ever had a go at me - people realise this is just the reality of car parks and this rude twat was just trying to upset you, OP.

VerySmallSqueak · 25/08/2013 14:37

Yes,I think he sounds unnecessarily aggressive.

If a car can't stand a door just every so gently touching it because it's so delicate,I wouldn't fancy my chances in an accident.

If you've swung the door open carelessly and proper clumped his door that's another matter,but really,he sounds a bit precious over a lump of metal (but I do agree that OP'd references to his physical appearance are a tad unnecessary...)

ShellyBoobs · 25/08/2013 14:44

If a car can't stand a door just every so gently touching it because it's so delicate...

It's nothing to do with it being 'delicate', it's to do with some people not wanting scratches all over their car.

And yes, resting your door on someone's car does scratch it. Just because you can't see it, doesn't mean you haven't cause fine scratches.

Your car moves up and down on its suspension as you get in and out of it, so the edge of your door is being rubbed up and down on their car.

I suppose some people just don't give a shit about other people's property, unfortunately the selfish fuckers.

KellyHopter · 25/08/2013 14:50

Cars are big shines objects which live outside. Being precious about it to the point of being angry that someone else touches it (without marking it in any way) is not conducive to healthy blood pressure.

VerySmallSqueak · 25/08/2013 14:50

Yes I get that Shelley.

To me a car is tool not ornament. I understand others think differently and that some invest so much money in a car. But there was no damage caused and this man was so aggressive.

Heaven forbid she actually caused some damage.If that were the case,would the man have felt justified in thumping her because he was so angry?

A little perspective is needed.

KellyHopter · 25/08/2013 14:50

Shiny*

FranSanDisco · 25/08/2013 14:51

OP can't see why you have got such replies on here. You rested your door on another car and there was no damage. The guy was unnecessarily aggressive even though he knew there was no damage. He was a tosser. I have had my new car reversed into and scratched in a car park - no=one left a note. Birds have shat on it and a lorry kicked a stone up and chipped my windscreen. Shit happens.

FranSanDisco · 25/08/2013 14:53

Shelly - calm down love you sound unhinged.

ilovesooty · 25/08/2013 14:58

How on earth does she sound "unhinged"?

dreamingoflavender · 25/08/2013 15:01

I agree with Fran and with others. Accidents do happen. My Mum was attacked in a car park. It was a very windy day and as she opened the door a sudden gust of wind slammed the door into the car next to it. Not her fault and she was very apologetic but the reaction of the other people left her really frightened and upset.

I don't really understand the problem with the word 'horrid' either, sorry.

Spottypurse · 25/08/2013 15:04

Why did you speak to the shop?

LondonMan · 25/08/2013 15:05

Sometimes I have to rest my door on another car as the spaces are too small and we couldn't get out of the car otherwise, and I'm not massive and neither is the car, it's a family estate car. Unfortunately some car parks are not well designed or someone has parked too far over in another space and there is only one left. No matter how well you park this could not be avoided.

I never allow my door to touch another car, and would by very annoyed if anyone touched my car with theirs. It's completely unacceptable behaviour, in all circumstances. How many spaces are left and how big they are is irrelevant, if you can't get out of your car without touching another car, then that space does not exist as far as you are concerned. I often ignore spaces that are too narrow. When driving a borrowed 4x4, I found the only acceptable option was to park between two empty spaces. (Had the adjoining spaces no longer been empty when I returned, I would have pulled the 4x4 out of the space before allowing less agile/careful family to get in.)

Your desire to shop is not more important than someone elses desire to have an undamaged car. Also, you sound clumsy, as I can open my door to within an inch of another car, without touching it, while getting out. Actually touching the other car would make no significant different to the available space.

Sorry, this sounds unkind. All I'm trying to say is make it a point not to touch other cars, whatever it takes to achieve that.

WileyRoadRunner · 25/08/2013 15:05

YABU.

Couldn't you park a bit further over in the space if you couldn't get out?

Don't think you deserve some of the replies on here though!!!

InSpaceNooneCanHearYouScream · 25/08/2013 15:07

I think these replies are ridiculous- OP has made it clear she DIDN'T damage the car, sometimes it's impossible to avoid touching other people's cars no matter how careful you are. The bloke was a rude aggressive twat. If he cared that much about his poxy car he could have said 'd'you mind being a bit more careful' like I have in the past. He was a pig and the OP was understandably annoyed.

ShellyBoobs · 25/08/2013 15:10

FranSanDisco - unhinged? Really? Shock

Jesus, I haven't even had a drink yet...

MrsCampbellBlack · 25/08/2013 15:11

What it is it with mn and cars?

OP - the man sounded as though he was very rude. Some people just are rude, you only have to read this thread to realise that Wink

Fillyjonk75 · 25/08/2013 15:19

I also think most of the replies are ridiculous, glad there are some more sensible folk on now! It's just a fact of life that people's car doors will touch your car or your car's doors will touch other cars, no matter how well you park. No need to be aggressive. I'd hate to meet some of you down the pub and knock your pint over! Fuck's sake.

No need to be aggressive either even if someone else is in the wrong and has done damage, as long as they are apologetic and give you their details.

I mean, someone once properly smacked my passenger door with hers and I thought "Aaagh!" But before I could say anything, the woman was very upset and apologising profusely. I don't think shouting at her would have achieved anything.

Fillyjonk75 · 25/08/2013 15:21

I actually don't think some people here should be driving until they have had some kind of anger management or socialisation psychological therapy. Imagine the road rage, if they get like this over someone merely touching their car.

BlingBang · 25/08/2013 15:22

He sounds like a nasty prat. Don't believe folk here have never let their car touch another car - ever? Sound like a right miserable OTT tight ass bunch.

Fillyjonk75 · 25/08/2013 15:23

Spot on, bling!

ShellyBoobs · 25/08/2013 15:32

I actually don't think some people here should be driving until they have had some kind of anger management...

Can you point out the posts, or posters, who are apparently so angry?

I've just re-read the entire thread and only see differing opinions.

All the anger seems to be from you and a few others, Filly.

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