To think my friends are shit and want to make some new ones

[Holly94]

I'm 17 weeks pregnant and I can count on one hand the number of times I've seen my friends since I found out I was pregnant.
I found out I was pregnant 2 days after we all finished sixth form and no one could understand my decision to keep my baby instead of have an abortion.
Went on a girls holiday (booked a while ago) when I was 11 weeks and spent the whole week throwing up. I tried talking to them all while I was with them but they kept walking off and several times I heard them discussing me while they thought i was asleep. One girl told me I was so irritating 'always being ill' and told me I annoyed her so much she wanted to hit me.
Since we got back I've texted them a lot, face booked, tried to meet up, no one responds to me. Asked them how their results went, they just told me and didn't ask about mine. Just seen a status of them all on Facebook having a girls night in at someone's house. I would have loved a girly night. I feel so fucking alone right now. I just want some new friends. AIBU?

Snap I managed to achieve BBC in the end. I'm applying to go to university next September. Thank you x

They do sound horrid' there is no excuse for that kind of behaviour they are 18 not 8, and shoukd know better. Hopefully you will make different better friends, you sound lovely. Does your MW know of any young mums groups, or try Mumsnet local

I'm going to ask my midwife at my next appointment if she knows of any local young mums groups. We're moving house in a couple of weeks so once that's all sorted Im wanting to sign up for aqua natal too.

I know that if one of my friends had found herself pregnant at 18 I'd have wanted to offer her my support even if we didn't stay in touch. I wouldn't have been outright nasty to her like some of my 'friends' have been to me.

My three closest friends all fell pregnant at 18 or younger and Im not going to lie to you,it was hard.You are going to have hard times ahead but do you know what?You can do this with or without them,they will find it hard to understand how different your priorities are now. I think sometimes people forgot that when youre pregnant you still can be sociable!They probably dont know what to behave like around you too.
Be prepared for people to judge you on age,because they sure will. My friends were judged,guess what?It only made them strive more and they are fantastic mums and role models.Two of them have degrees and one has a very good job.All this while finding who they are in the world and raising three lovely kids who want for not a thing.So big middle finger to those who thought they couldnt do it.
Dont get me wrong Ive listened to them tell me how hard it was watching others go on holidays and big nights out and just being care free and yes it dud upset them but i dont think any of them would change that now.
My best friend disappeared out of my life when i was pregnant at 24 after years of always being together.Dont know why,it hurt alot and i was so angry but i got through it and saw who my friends really were.I dont feel mad anymore i just think good luck to her.

Congratulations on your grades as well-they're really good. Definitely put yourself out there and join any groups you can once you move, it's nerve wracking to begin with, but once you have one friend to go to groups with it gets a lot easier to talk to other people.

Well done on your results! You've done extremely well and you've lots of things to look forward to. I'd be hurt about the friend thing too but hope that you can get on with all your good things and enjoy getting ready for your baby and applying to uni. Having babies and going to uni are probably the times people make their best friendships in adult years.

When is your baby due? Good luck with everything. x

I would be totally ashamed if my daughter ditched a pregnant friend. Shitty behaviour.

Thanks snap and backtobedlam :) baby is due on 30th January. I know that the moment I hold my baby for the first time none of this will matter.

I agree - it's fine to go down different paths but you can still be decent and kind. I feel from what the OP has said that this has nothing to do with her personally but is a reflection on nasty girls who'd have turned on anyone who needed real support. It's just a pity it happened at a time when you naturally feel vulerable and need support.

I made a tweet earlier saying about how it always feel shit to be left out no matter how old you are (yes I know in hindsight shouldn't have) and just received a lovely text from one of the girls telling me that my tweet was totally uncalled for and that if I hadn't got pregnant I could have joined them all. I think the friendship is over. I don't even know what she means by that - am I being punished for being pregnant?

You sound lovely. They on the other hand, are vile bitches who will hopefully be horrified by their behaviour when they find themselves pregnant and in need of a friend. But probably not.

Remove them from your life, put yourself out there with as many pregnancy related groups that you can manage and you'll soon find new friends worthy of your time and not wanting to hit you for being poorly ffs.

Congratulations and good luck with your pregnancy/university next year

They don't really sound like they were ever your true friends.

I had friends who fell pregnant at 17/17/18 and whilst I had no interest in their babies and no understanding of what they were going through, I would at least politely ask about them.

That's because although I didn't share the baby interest and I didn't understand how they'd be feeling, I did actually care about them.

Find some real friends and congratulations

Whoops! 16/17/18

If you hadn't got pregnant, Jesus Christ

I'd be so tempted to text back "pregnancy lasts for 9 months, being a horrid bitch lasts a life time, good luck with that."

Of course you won't do anything like that though, you're better than that I am sure, unlike me

Thank you everyone for your lovely comments. Mumsnet has once again restored my faith in humanity :) t

What walnuts said. At 17/18 I was making plans to move away to uni and was looking forward to a life of freedom and fun, I can't say I'd have understood someone's choice to have an unplanned child instead. I also wouldn't have really known what to say to someone who had, it was fairly drummed in to me that being pregnant at that age was a Bad Thing, perhaps your friends have been taught similar and so don't know how to react?

Your lives are moving in two very different directions. That's not a bad thing, it's just called life and growing up.

I hope everything goes well with the pregnancy.

Hahaha LeaveTheBastid :D I am just choosing not to interact with them. And in several years time when I have a lovely 5 year old DC, a uni degree and a great new set of friends I will smile smugly

Don't worry about those "friends". It's time to find new ones. They sound immature anyway.

Leaving school is THE time when friendships change as people go their own way anyway, it is no reflection on you.

Congratulations on your pregnancy, good for you to continue with your studies too.

You sound like a lovely person and shouldn't have any difficulty finding new friends!

I'm 25 and feel the same with a few of my friends, they haven't been nasty and are genuinely excited for me but they do keep leaving me out of things and i do feel like saying "in not diseased you know, just because im not drinking doesn't mean i can't have fun!!"

Where are you living if you don't mind me asking?

I live with DP's parents. We have a flat that will be ready for us to move into next month :) counting down the days!

While my 18 year old dd has no interest in babies, I'd be mortified if she treated a real friend like you have been treated.

You'll make plenty of new friends. Proper ones.

Sorry I meant what area are you living in? Perhaps someone here knows of any groups etc in your area?

Oh sorry! West Yorkshire. Between York and Leeds.