Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think this was the worst children's party EVER?

999 replies

EweHaveGoatToBeKiddin · 24/08/2013 16:15

This may be very long as I have a habit of rambling.

DD came home from school with an invitation last week for her classmate's (let's call her Annie) 6th birthday party. So off we trotted to the soft play today at 1pm.

The lady at the desk said it would be £4.50 to get in. I was a bit embarrassed and said I hadn't realised I would need to pay. The lady explained that Annie's mum had invited 20 children but only paid for 10. And had instructed staff to let the first ten in for free (first come first served) and then charge the rest.

I asked if dd would be included in the party games/food, and the lady said that I could pay for dd to have a meal and she could eat it with the paid children and wouldn't know the difference. And that there was no charge to join in the party games.

DD was getting a bit anxious/upset, so i paid her entry fee, prepaid her dinner and took her in.

Annie's mum never mentioned a thing. She just greeted us, told me where the cafe was and sent dd off to play. And I was too embarrassed to ask about the cost.

I didn't want to leave dd, so I just sat myself down on a wee bench next to the play area. After an hour, the children were called down from the soft play to go next door into the party room for games and food.

Again, Annie's mum didn't say anything re the people who hadn't paid. She just disappeared into the room with Annie before everyone had finished gathering at the door.

The 'paid' children all went inside, showing the lady at the door their little wrist bands. My dd's band was yellow (all the paid children's were red). I asked if it was okay for me to take dd in. The woman said that dd wasn't paid for. I explained that i'd spoken to a woman at the front desk and had paid for her dinner etc. The lady at the door told me to wait a minute, went away (presumably to the front desk), came back 5 minutes later and said me and dd could go in.

The other 'paying' parents (I could only count around 4 of them) said they weren't paying anything else and were just going to stay in the soft play.

So me and dd went into the party room. The children were already half way through a game of pass the parcel. Me and dd waited at the side for it to finish.

There was one more game (musical chairs) which dd got up to join in with. But the staff member (another different lady) said that she wasn't expecting another child and that she'd have to go next door for another chair. She left the room and i felt mortified. I felt like everyone was thinking I'd just sneaked into the room or something. The lady came back, along with the staff member from outside the door. Both gave me a big smile and then invited dd to sit down.

After that game, it was party food time.

Members of staff started bringing in buffet style food for the long table at the back of the room. I had paid for dd to have some chicken nugget meal bag, as I had assumed that was what the other children were having (because the lady at the desk had said that dd wouldn't notice the difference). I felt like a right numpty. All the other children went off to line up for the buffet. I told dd to stay beside me. She started whining so I went and asked the staff member when dd's meal would be brought in. She didn't know what I was on about so I explained. She said she wasn't sure if dd's meal would be allowed to be brought into the party room and she'd go and check.

Anyway, me and dd were sat there in a wee corner for about 15 minutes. No one said anything to us. A few people looked over and smiled. Again, I felt totally mortified. I tried to catch Annie's mum's eye, but she was forever talking to people. So i just said very loudly to a whining dd that her dinner will be brought in soon, hoping someone might say something to me (or perhaps invite dd to come and get a sandwich or something) but no one did.

By the time they were all getting jelly and ice cream, dd's chicken nuggets and chips arrived. So that preoccupied her from the fact she wasn't getting ice cream.

After eating, they all went out to the soft play again for ten minutes. Then it was time to go. The other children were all leaving with party bags. I tried to distract dd but she said very loudly (Annie's mum was standing next to us), "Can i have one too?"

Annie's mum was clearly ignoring her seemed not to hear her, so dd tapped her on the arm and said, "Excuse me, can I have one, too?"

I apologised and asked dd not to be rude, and to say thank you for the invitation etc. DD was getting upset and asked me "But whyyyyyy can't I have one?"

So Annie's Mum knelt down to her and said with a big smile, "See your lovely little bangle? It's yellow. Only the boys and girls with red ones get a party bag. Buuut, do you know what children with yellow bangles get? Something even better. They get a piece of cake. Isn't that wonderful?"

I was pretty much like Shock but dd thought that it was indeed wonderful. Annie's mum promised her a bit of cake 'in a wee minute'. So again, me and dd were standing there like numpties while Annie's mum continued dishing out bags to the other children and chatting to their parents. I kept saying to dd "Let's just go and I'll buy you a treat from the cake shop', but she was adamant she wanted a piece of Annie's birthday cake.

So we found a wee table and sat there. Once everyone had gone, Annie's mum disappeared into the party room again. Ten minutes later, she came out with all of Annie's presents etc, coat on clearly ready to go home. I smiled at her in a 'did you forget about us?' kind of way. She seemed surprised to see us. Apologised and said that the cake was all boxed up now but that she'd make sure Annie brought some in on Monday to school for dd.

DD was not pleased.

So... AIBU to think this was the worst party ever? I realise I should have left much earlier than I did, but dd had spent the whole morning getting ready, making Annie's card, wrapping her gift, drawing Annie a picture, talking about the party, that she would have been heartbroken if i brought her home early.

I just feel so embarrassed.

OP posts:
saintlyjimjams · 24/08/2013 16:40

If you can bare to do it I would do a cake lie (especially as she has HFA - otherwise she is going to end anxious over some cake).

If you could have a word with the other yellow band mums you may find some outraged support there as well :)

BeaWheesht · 24/08/2013 16:40

Re the text I said I'd send earlier I'd also add 'I hope it didn't make you uncomfortable receiving a present for A from dd when she was invited after all, I really don't know how this all happened.

BeaWheesht · 24/08/2013 16:40

*wasnt

cushtie335 · 24/08/2013 16:41

What a shame for you and your DD. This woman is just disgusting. The brass neck of some people never fails to shock me. Try and speak to some of the other "yellow band Mums" and get their take on it when you go back to school on Monday.

nickelbabe · 24/08/2013 16:41

i still can't understand why the people who had to pay couldn't have got the party deal too.
why couldn't they have been included?

saintlyjimjams · 24/08/2013 16:41

TBH this a thread that Annie's mum needs to stumble across really.

I think you should have a word with her (in that she should be held accountable) but I suspect it might end up being more stressful for you than her & I doubt she'll ever realise she's done anything wrong.

cory · 24/08/2013 16:41

She sent invites to 10 additional guests. This invite comprised of:

not being allowed to join the birthday party

not being allowed any party food

not being allowed to join in the party games

not getting a party bag

but

being allowed to pay for themselves at softplay where they could have gone any old time

I'm going to invite the whole of MN for a do at the Albert Hall for my forthcoming. I'm not paying anything for you. I'm not making your bookings. I'm not planning to feed you. You won't actually get to meet me. But here's the invite. Don't forget the presents! Grin

IThinkOfHappyWhenIThinkOfYou · 24/08/2013 16:42

I hope somebody bought Annie a copy of The Sneetches for her birthday

cushtie335 · 24/08/2013 16:42

X posted with Saintlyjimjams, can anyone tell me what HFA means?

NorksAreMessy · 24/08/2013 16:42
Shock
IslaValargeone · 24/08/2013 16:43

high functioning autism.

cory · 24/08/2013 16:43

sorry, should have been "forthcoming 50th".not that it matters. because you won't be getting any cake off me Grin

nickelbabe · 24/08/2013 16:43

HFA High functioning autism

cushtie335 · 24/08/2013 16:43

Thanks IslaValargeone. I didn't know that.

monkeyfacegrace · 24/08/2013 16:43

Cushtie, High Functioning Autism I assume.

Op, can you pm me? Im on my phone and dont know how to do it Blush

Layl77 · 24/08/2013 16:44

Yes please do ask her loudly at the school gates! That's awful!

TheRobberBride · 24/08/2013 16:44

Dear God, that's just an awful thing to do. How DARE Annie's mother do that? Humiliating small children is just now on. I'd have to say something.

thecatfromjapan · 24/08/2013 16:44

The only way you could top this would be to post back with an update revealing that the SoftPlay place was owned by Annie's Mum's Sister - and Annie's Mum gets a cut on all the trade she brings in.

Maybe it wasn't even Annie's birthday, and she runs this scam once a month?

Seriously, it is very weird. And poor Annie, because I would be very wary about any plans Annie's mother makes from here on in.

cushtie335 · 24/08/2013 16:44

Thanks all for the HFA explanation.

WorraLiberty · 24/08/2013 16:44

OMG the cheek of the woman Shock

I'm now fantasising about a cake smash, using Annie's Mum's head...

Iwearblack · 24/08/2013 16:44

What would have happened if you had arrived earlier and been one of the lucky red-bangled guests so that another friend didnt make the cut?? Or were you cunningly given a later time to arrive?

Only providing party bags for half the 'guests' is really shoddy ....

IslaValargeone · 24/08/2013 16:44

monkey you're not Annies' mum are you?

PoppyWearer · 24/08/2013 16:45
Shock
cushtie335 · 24/08/2013 16:46

"monkey you're not Annies' mum are you?" ha ha, that's what I was just thinking, or possibly another yellow band "(non) party" guest.

Blueandwhitelover · 24/08/2013 16:46

Oh Monkeyfacegrace-were you there too??? :-)