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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think this was the worst children's party EVER?

999 replies

EweHaveGoatToBeKiddin · 24/08/2013 16:15

This may be very long as I have a habit of rambling.

DD came home from school with an invitation last week for her classmate's (let's call her Annie) 6th birthday party. So off we trotted to the soft play today at 1pm.

The lady at the desk said it would be £4.50 to get in. I was a bit embarrassed and said I hadn't realised I would need to pay. The lady explained that Annie's mum had invited 20 children but only paid for 10. And had instructed staff to let the first ten in for free (first come first served) and then charge the rest.

I asked if dd would be included in the party games/food, and the lady said that I could pay for dd to have a meal and she could eat it with the paid children and wouldn't know the difference. And that there was no charge to join in the party games.

DD was getting a bit anxious/upset, so i paid her entry fee, prepaid her dinner and took her in.

Annie's mum never mentioned a thing. She just greeted us, told me where the cafe was and sent dd off to play. And I was too embarrassed to ask about the cost.

I didn't want to leave dd, so I just sat myself down on a wee bench next to the play area. After an hour, the children were called down from the soft play to go next door into the party room for games and food.

Again, Annie's mum didn't say anything re the people who hadn't paid. She just disappeared into the room with Annie before everyone had finished gathering at the door.

The 'paid' children all went inside, showing the lady at the door their little wrist bands. My dd's band was yellow (all the paid children's were red). I asked if it was okay for me to take dd in. The woman said that dd wasn't paid for. I explained that i'd spoken to a woman at the front desk and had paid for her dinner etc. The lady at the door told me to wait a minute, went away (presumably to the front desk), came back 5 minutes later and said me and dd could go in.

The other 'paying' parents (I could only count around 4 of them) said they weren't paying anything else and were just going to stay in the soft play.

So me and dd went into the party room. The children were already half way through a game of pass the parcel. Me and dd waited at the side for it to finish.

There was one more game (musical chairs) which dd got up to join in with. But the staff member (another different lady) said that she wasn't expecting another child and that she'd have to go next door for another chair. She left the room and i felt mortified. I felt like everyone was thinking I'd just sneaked into the room or something. The lady came back, along with the staff member from outside the door. Both gave me a big smile and then invited dd to sit down.

After that game, it was party food time.

Members of staff started bringing in buffet style food for the long table at the back of the room. I had paid for dd to have some chicken nugget meal bag, as I had assumed that was what the other children were having (because the lady at the desk had said that dd wouldn't notice the difference). I felt like a right numpty. All the other children went off to line up for the buffet. I told dd to stay beside me. She started whining so I went and asked the staff member when dd's meal would be brought in. She didn't know what I was on about so I explained. She said she wasn't sure if dd's meal would be allowed to be brought into the party room and she'd go and check.

Anyway, me and dd were sat there in a wee corner for about 15 minutes. No one said anything to us. A few people looked over and smiled. Again, I felt totally mortified. I tried to catch Annie's mum's eye, but she was forever talking to people. So i just said very loudly to a whining dd that her dinner will be brought in soon, hoping someone might say something to me (or perhaps invite dd to come and get a sandwich or something) but no one did.

By the time they were all getting jelly and ice cream, dd's chicken nuggets and chips arrived. So that preoccupied her from the fact she wasn't getting ice cream.

After eating, they all went out to the soft play again for ten minutes. Then it was time to go. The other children were all leaving with party bags. I tried to distract dd but she said very loudly (Annie's mum was standing next to us), "Can i have one too?"

Annie's mum was clearly ignoring her seemed not to hear her, so dd tapped her on the arm and said, "Excuse me, can I have one, too?"

I apologised and asked dd not to be rude, and to say thank you for the invitation etc. DD was getting upset and asked me "But whyyyyyy can't I have one?"

So Annie's Mum knelt down to her and said with a big smile, "See your lovely little bangle? It's yellow. Only the boys and girls with red ones get a party bag. Buuut, do you know what children with yellow bangles get? Something even better. They get a piece of cake. Isn't that wonderful?"

I was pretty much like Shock but dd thought that it was indeed wonderful. Annie's mum promised her a bit of cake 'in a wee minute'. So again, me and dd were standing there like numpties while Annie's mum continued dishing out bags to the other children and chatting to their parents. I kept saying to dd "Let's just go and I'll buy you a treat from the cake shop', but she was adamant she wanted a piece of Annie's birthday cake.

So we found a wee table and sat there. Once everyone had gone, Annie's mum disappeared into the party room again. Ten minutes later, she came out with all of Annie's presents etc, coat on clearly ready to go home. I smiled at her in a 'did you forget about us?' kind of way. She seemed surprised to see us. Apologised and said that the cake was all boxed up now but that she'd make sure Annie brought some in on Monday to school for dd.

DD was not pleased.

So... AIBU to think this was the worst party ever? I realise I should have left much earlier than I did, but dd had spent the whole morning getting ready, making Annie's card, wrapping her gift, drawing Annie a picture, talking about the party, that she would have been heartbroken if i brought her home early.

I just feel so embarrassed.

OP posts:
everlong · 26/08/2013 21:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

KenDoddsDadsDog · 26/08/2013 21:10

Lavender for me too.

EBearhug · 26/08/2013 21:10

There's probably a whole PhD thesis on the psychological significance of messageboard customisations.

twistedtoffee · 26/08/2013 21:11

I don't think Annie's mum sounds deliberately rude or malicious. But she does sound as if she's incredibly thick. I would just feel sorry for her and not worry about it any more.

Debs75 · 26/08/2013 21:13

OP's are green mine are a rather lovely purpleGrin

Coconutty · 26/08/2013 21:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

primallass · 26/08/2013 21:20

Lavander here.

And just to rub it in, no today isn't a bank holiday but we still get 9 per year instead of 8 Grin Wink

ExitPursuedByABear · 26/08/2013 21:22

My life is one long Bank Holiday.

Bearbehind · 26/08/2013 21:28

I am astounded at the number of people saying this OP is a troll just because she refers to school in August.

Not everyone who reads this is in England- some of you need to broaden your horizons some what. There is life outside of England!

Scottish schools have been back for over a week and today it not a bank holiday in Scotland Hmm

Sparklingbrook · 26/08/2013 21:29

That has been said on this thread many, many times Bear. Grin

Wheresmycaffeinedrip · 26/08/2013 21:31

I agree bear and to be honest I'd rather make a liar feel better than assume every poster was full of shit and not offer support or advice!

How miserable life would be of we doubted everyone all the time.

op I believe you and I hope the next party your dd is invited to, she actually is allowed to get invved and has a fab time!! X

ExitPursuedByABear · 26/08/2013 21:31
Bearbehind · 26/08/2013 21:32

I know sparkling, just thought if it appeared on every page it might sink in! Grin

Wheresmycaffeinedrip · 26/08/2013 21:33

Involved

SauvignonBlanche · 26/08/2013 21:33

You'd hope so!

FreudiansSlipper · 26/08/2013 21:36

sounds horrible your poor dd :(

why bother replying if you think the op is lying hardly something to get your knickers in a twist about

everlong · 26/08/2013 21:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

InkleWinkle · 26/08/2013 21:39

Today is definitely 100% a bank holiday in Scotland.
There are now (and haven't been for approx 10 years!) any differences between bank holidays in Scotland and those in England.

However, it is not treated as a public holiday so schools & many workplaces do not get a day off.

But it IS a BANK holiday.

ExitPursuedByABear · 26/08/2013 21:39

Pages. So last century.

ExitPursuedByABear · 26/08/2013 21:40

So what is a Bank Holiday then?

Sparklingbrook · 26/08/2013 21:41

Ooh a BH that isn't a BH. Grin

ExitPursuedByABear · 26/08/2013 21:43

Maybe it really is just the banks. Bastards.

InkleWinkle · 26/08/2013 21:43

Today is a bank holiday. Banks were closed. And some businesses but not all.
And the schools are just back so they're not off either.
But BANKS are.

Sparklingbrook · 26/08/2013 21:44

Lazy bankers.

everlong · 26/08/2013 21:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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