to feel annoyed by what this doctor's receptionist said?

[DoctorRobert]

Phoned our surgery yesterday to make an appointment for DH. He thinks he may have an ear infection on both sides, but not sure. Could be something more serious given his history.

Made an appt, and she then asked for a brief overview of the problem. I replied "it's a problem with his ears" - was vague as obviously we don't know.

She then laughed and said "oh, selective hearing is it?!"

Now, DH has had a lot of problems and bad luck with his ears. He has permanent partial deafness on one side due to a brain injury last year; he has an unrelated cholesteatoma (growth) in the other ear which has also caused hearing loss and he has been undergoing surgery for. Will need another operation next year.

I know that the receptionist isn't party to his medical history, and she was just making a lighthearted joke. Men never listen do they, oh how funny. But AIBU to think that given a receptionist doesn't know a patient's history or what the outcome of their appt may be, that they shouldn't be making jokes at all?

OP we won't agree.

I would be pleased to have a fun receptionist at my GP surgery.

Yes they have access to test results - but only if you ask fir them! They aren't going to delve into your medical notes when you ask fir an appointment - if they did, the dr would ask them what the hell they were doing.

thing is that's a job where flippant remarks even if you intend them to be humorous can rebound quite badly. Its not a comment I'd have made in that sort of role - its a bit unprofessional really.

Bowler plenty of people have agreed with me though, so I have decided that I AIBU

Shit. I am not BU

Just as a matter of interest, did you tell your DH and what does he think?

I have a hearing problem myself but wouldnt have been offended

The receptionists at my surgery are wonderful and they know me well. I went about 4 times in one week to try and sort out an incorrect prescription, one of them said "you again?". She knew me and how I'd take it, it may have been very inappropriate to say that to someone else. My point is; there is a time and a place. It was neither. OP, YANBU.

Unprofessional & insensitive. YANBU - just dont take it personally

Dear lord, I appreciate a bit of black humour, but using it to someone you haven't even met, when your job is to book them in for a medical appointment?! Utterly inappropriate.

Still, she could be sitting at home cringing right now; have you seen the almighty gaffes thread?

YANBU. Their role is to make an appointment; preferably: kindly, politely and efficiently. It is not their role to be over familiar with people they don't know. I thought they were too busy generally to exercise basic courtesy to be honest. Quite apart from the potential to joke about someone with a disabilty at their expense - implicitly, explicitly or by association - after spending up to an hour to get through to my practice I just need an effective service without the crap tbh.

I think you've been given a rough time on here OP.

I think it was trivialising what is in fact a very serious set of medical problems. If someone had rung up and said: "I can't seem to wake up my ds, I don't know what's wrong with him!" would she have said: "Trying to bunk off school, I suppose?"

It was unprofessional for sure. I am the kind of person who happily jokes about anything no matter how inappropriate it is but a receptionist should not be making a joke out of a disability, no matter how lighthearted and friendly she was trying to be. Jokes like that are a know your audience kind of thing.

You don't need to 'lighten up' she made a joke that hit a nerve, understandably so.

Jeez you really need to find something else to worry about!
She was trying to be lighthearted.

I am really surprised at some of the responses here. The OP said her H had problems with his ear, so the recep't knew he had a medical issue there. So clearly inappropriate to make a joke, even if she almost certainly didn't know the severity of the problem.

I mean, let's try some other egs....

Patient beginning to miscarry at 15 weeks rings up: I need to see a dr please, I'm pregnant and having some tummy pains.

Receptionist: ha ha, have you been at the biscuits? Probably just indigestion! I was terrible when I was pg, me! No seriously, I can fit you in at 12....

Or

Patient with undiagnosed depression: I'd like to see a dr, I've been feeling quite low recently.

Receptionist: well, it is Monday love, everyone feels a bit down!

If neither of those sound right, why is the OP being ott?

maddy68 the OP does have something else to worry about; her husband had a frigging brain injury!!!!!!

maddy68 I have plenty to worry about. every time DH leaves the house I worry he might have another diabetic hypo, pass out again, and end up with another brain injury. I worry that next time he will end up seriously brain damaged or dead. So, in the nicest way possible, fuck off.

I think RevoltingPeasant's examples are good ones. I hope you're feeling more supported now, OP. A majority of us are saying YANBU and we are right .

Jeez you really need to find something else to worry about

As the OP has pointed out, she's had more than her share of worries.

Have you even read the thread? What a horrible thing to say, if you have.

Don't post if you don't want an opinion. Thought that was the point!

You just said to the receptionist that he had a problem with his ears. The receptionist would not know his Meghalaya history when booking an appointment. She was being lighthearted. You took it the wrong way. End of

Also, the casual sexism mentioned by one poster upthread is unprofessional. What was the OP supposed to say in response? "Yes, yes, he's such a wanker. I hate men, always complaining about nothing." Or what?

The point made, repeatedly, is that there is a time and a place for lightheartedness. And this was not it. See RevoltingPeasant 's examples for explanation.

The receptionists at my local surgery tend towards the miserable end of the spectrum. To come across one with a sense of humour would be a refreshing change, even if it was misplaced.

My husband is a long term visitor to the hospital for cancer treatment and sometimes the only way we cope is to have a bit of a bit of banter with the lovely nurses and doctors. Serious illness is emotionally and physically draining, but it helps to not take ourselves too seriously and have a smile at the occasional "sick" joke.

I appreciate that in your case the receptionist got it wrong, but another patient may not have minded in the least. I also appreciate that this receptionist didn't know you or your husband, while we have been seeing the same nurses etc for 5 years now.

I suppose I also have some sympathy for the poor woman because it's just the kind of thing that I would say and then instantly regret it. She's probably cringing inside at her own impulsiveness.

maddy68 You didn't just give your opinion, you were rude insinuating that OP's problems are petty when she had described what she and her husband had been through.