to feel annoyed by what this doctor's receptionist said?

[DoctorRobert]

Phoned our surgery yesterday to make an appointment for DH. He thinks he may have an ear infection on both sides, but not sure. Could be something more serious given his history.

Made an appt, and she then asked for a brief overview of the problem. I replied "it's a problem with his ears" - was vague as obviously we don't know.

She then laughed and said "oh, selective hearing is it?!"

Now, DH has had a lot of problems and bad luck with his ears. He has permanent partial deafness on one side due to a brain injury last year; he has an unrelated cholesteatoma (growth) in the other ear which has also caused hearing loss and he has been undergoing surgery for. Will need another operation next year.

I know that the receptionist isn't party to his medical history, and she was just making a lighthearted joke. Men never listen do they, oh how funny. But AIBU to think that given a receptionist doesn't know a patient's history or what the outcome of their appt may be, that they shouldn't be making jokes at all?

I made an appointment for my DDs yesterday (two appointments, 10 minutes each, rather than 'squeezing in' both of them in the same one). I volunteered that one was for tonsillitis and the other for an infected toe nail. We were seeing a Locum dr and my DDs don't have any ongoing medical issues so it could have been anything. Just a bit less uncertainty for the dr on a Friday afternoon.

You haven't helped Tee, you've made me feel like shit actually.

Well,the receptionist probably shouldn't have made the comment, but I'm guessing she's new at her job. After she's been doing the job a few weeks, she won't smile, give you the time of day, and may well be rather short if you are one minute late for an apt (despite the fact that you were kept waiting 1.5 hours the previous day) IME.

YANBU, OP. That was inappropriate. I don't think doctors' receptionists need to be po-faced ? I've had a giggle with some before ? but some 'light-hearted' comments are OK and some aren't.

Tee, that's plain nasty and you owe the OP an apology.

I can see why it upset you, given the circumstances, but she didn't mean any harm and was probably just trying to be friendly by making a harmless (to her) joke.

I'm sorry your DH is having these problems with his health.

But I do understand why you were upset but without mentioning what is wrong with him it is hard to rectify.

Indeed life would be so much better if people were just 'professional' automatons rather than human beings trying to make a connection.

The people that serve you are actually people you know, not just 'professionals'

Also, when i go to the doctor, the doctor tends to ask me what the problem is - it takes me, ooh, ten seconds to tell them, i don't know why they would need a heads up - they have the medical notes on the computor.

I'm not planning on making a complaint or anything btw. I just wondered whether other people would view it as inappropriate.

That is pretty tactless Tee.

You can make a connection without an inappropriate and sexist comment! I wouldn't let it upset you though OP, I would have been irritated too. The people who serve me, i expect to be professional, polite, friendly and people. The people bit is what qualifies them to have a bit of empathy and think before they make comments - many people calling the doctor may well not be in the mood for off the cuff jokes and the professional bit is about weighing up whether or not it would be appropriate.

Years and years ago I had a regular babysitting gig for two doctors. I was given strict instructions about what to say if a patient rang while I was there. Any pain in the chest, arm etc I was told to tell whoever was on the phone to call an ambulance (other stuff too, but as I said it was years ago.)

I am guessing the receptionist has a similar job to do in deciding whether the patient needs emergency treatment or could be seen by a nurse.

Was the comment inappropriate? I don't think so. Unfortunate, given his history but being a GP receptionist is a pretty thankless job half the time. They get a lot of grief. In your shoes I probably would have laughed and been the caller that made her day a little bit nicer.

I hope he gets better soon.

I agree with what ubik has said.

The receptionist made a light hearted comment to make you smile (big mistake, clearly).

I would hate for receptionists, or anyone dealing with the general public to have to watch their every word and behave like robots, with a huge list of dos and don'ts. What a dull country that would produce.

Sometimes I guess the line is inappropriately crossed, but I don't think it has in this case.

YABU and overly sensitive. I don't understand why posters get so hysterical about GP receptionists asking what the appointment is for. Sometimes people ask for appointments with a GP when it would be better for them to see a practice nurse. Or sometimes a different GP who might have a particular speciality. The receptionists do have access to your notes should they just want to be nosey.

Chop chop - when i worked as a vet receptionist i used to ask in order to decide whether to allocate an emergency appointment or not. I was however trained as a vet nurse so could use my experience and knowledge to make a decision. Most of the time this would be because the vet would be breathing down my neck making the "dont you dare make any more appointment, i want to go to play golf" face.

Medical receptionists do not recieve that sort of training and as far as i am aware not able to make any decisions as they are not medically trained. The receptionists at our practice are lovely but will just allocate appointments according to availability - most appointments either have to be booked ten years in advance or are "book on the day emergencies" so no decision to be made. The patient will know if they want to see their own doctor or see someone else - so i will quite happily see another doctor if i want a repeat prescription or a sore throat, if i want to discuss something ongoing or personal i'll specify my doctor and not bother if i can't see her - but that is MY decision to make.

YABU but understandably. She was just trying to joke and make you feel more comfortable with her/connect with you in a funny way, without knowing your circumstances. She wasn't wrong, but I can see why you'd be annoyed because of the reasons for the deafness and so on.

the receptionist should never ask what you are seeing the doctor for and don't understand why she did and if she did why in earth you would tell her.

Tee, you owe the OP an apology. A personal attack dripping with sarcasm is hardly appropriate. The OP has got enough to deal with, without disgraceful personal attacks.

I would've been upset in your shoes, OP. YANBU. GP receptionists shouldn't excel in tactlessness.

LEM, many patients phone and expect same day appointments. Sometimes for things like repeat prescriptions which don't even need appointments. My GPs surgery is also very good at providing telephone appointments if appropriate. You don't necessarily need any medical training to sift through those calls.
Obviously, you always have the option to say I'd rather not say as it's private but then you'll simply be given the next available appointment. No effort will be made to offer you something more suitable. Massive over reaction IMO

I was leaving a hospital and a porter noticed my eye patch...I'd had an op to remove an ulcer thing under the lid (very nice!) and he said "You should have ducked!"

I laughed...even though it was a possibly stupid comment...I might have just had my eye out! But really...life is short...I think a silly joke makes it better.

Maybe I do need to lighten up, get a grip etc...I guess I am sensitive over his health - the brain injury nearly killed him and his deafness is a permanent reminder

YANBU, OP. Some posters seem to feel there is nothing between downright rudeness and what they see as lighthearted banter. It should be possible to be polite and friendly without resorting to over-familiar "jokes", surely?

I'm struggling to think of an example, but suppose one of you has to make an appointment for a lump you've just found, and which is worrying you sick? Would you really like to have a joke made about it?

Since the receptionist is working in an envirnoment where people are likely to be anxious or upset, it's her/his responsibility to treat callers with respect. That doesn't mean being brusque or nasty, but it doesn't mean being hearty and jolly either.

I'm also wondering if people would feel differently if the OP had been calling about a child's symptoms. Would that still be fair game for casual remarks?

The receptionist at the doctors' surgery should learn to keep her jokes to herself I'd say. She will have to learn that pdq or she will be replaced.

Oh and when I'd had an emergency c section, I was limping like a tortoise down the corridor for my very first solo walk to the shop in the lower floor when a porter said "I'll chase you!"

I almost ruptured my stitches laughing! It was SO inappropriate it was hilarious!

Given the circumstances of your husbands health the comment was inappropriate but the receptionist is just that-a receptionist,chances are she doesn't know your husbands medical history so was just trying to make a little joke not realising that your dh does actually have hearing problems. Its not something I would get upset over unless I knew that the receptionist making the remark was actually aware of that particular medical problem (because its of been mentioned to her by yourself or dh when booking apppointments on previous visits by way of a "i/he can't hear you very well,I"m/he's partially deaf" comment iyswim)...

Some gp surgeries will ask what you need to see a dr about,sometimes because it gives the dr a heads up on what the patient is seeing them about,sometimes because if there's no gp apts available you may be able to see a nurse about it instead.I know this is why I sometimes get asked why I need an apt,but then again my gp surgery has the largest catchment area of the town I live in so it can be very difficult to get booked in,plus it also doubles up as the local walk-in centre so receptionists are encouraged to try and get as many patients as possible (during non-peak times) to see nurses/use the walk-in service instead of taking up appointments which could be better used for patients with problems that do actually require a gp for whatever reason.

Unprofessional?? . It was a joke...