to feel annoyed by what this doctor's receptionist said?

[DoctorRobert]

Phoned our surgery yesterday to make an appointment for DH. He thinks he may have an ear infection on both sides, but not sure. Could be something more serious given his history.

Made an appt, and she then asked for a brief overview of the problem. I replied "it's a problem with his ears" - was vague as obviously we don't know.

She then laughed and said "oh, selective hearing is it?!"

Now, DH has had a lot of problems and bad luck with his ears. He has permanent partial deafness on one side due to a brain injury last year; he has an unrelated cholesteatoma (growth) in the other ear which has also caused hearing loss and he has been undergoing surgery for. Will need another operation next year.

I know that the receptionist isn't party to his medical history, and she was just making a lighthearted joke. Men never listen do they, oh how funny. But AIBU to think that given a receptionist doesn't know a patient's history or what the outcome of their appt may be, that they shouldn't be making jokes at all?

No I said make or laugh at jokes. Strangers have joked too (his eye sight is pk now with glasses, but he will still "look through" something that is in plain sight in front of him.

As I said, I suppose different people have different ways of dealing with/viewing things.

Perhaps I should also say we both work in health care, so may have a slightly odd sense of humour/take on life.

I think YABU, it wasn't offensive.

I don't think we can say "she didn't know his history so shouldn't comment" etc because in that case no strangers should ever talk to anyone anywhere.

OH my days yes, YABVVVU.

Seriously, who gives a crap about his medical history as it was clearly a joke. Can't people laugh about anything any more? How do you cope?

I think that banter about illness is not an essential part of the receptionists job, she can do he job perfectly efficiently without it, therefore given that although some people may find it knicker-wettingly hilarious to have their illnesses laughed about, others may not, so an intelligent person would opt for giving the jokes a miss on the basis that not upsetting people is more important than comedy remarks at reception.

Why do people think that 'not wishing to laugh about my husband's hearing loss with a complete stranger' equates to 'not wishing to laugh at anything'? How strange.

Given your situation I don't think YABU really. My DS is deaf and I hate jokey comments about his difficulties. It's OK for me to make them but nobody else! Dr's receptionists must be aware that people may be feeling very, very fragile when they call sometimes. The lighthearted approach could be saved for a more appropriate situation imo. She wasn't being offensive but to answer your title directly, it is totally reasonable that you feel upset.

What a tough year for your family. Good luck for the next op.

Coping with the uncertainty of long term illness/disability and the daily hard bloody work it brings with it earns the OP the right to feel pissed off imo. She didn't make a formal complaint or anything, just came and vented anonymously, which is totally reasonable.

I work in a hospital and wouldn't make that sort of 'cheery joke' unless I had got to know the patient and had built up a bit of a rap pour with the person and knew that it would be taken as lighthearted, so I think yanbu op

I personally wouldn't like it .. Don't think yabu.. I wouldn't give anything away to the receptionist. Even when I go to the chemist, I ask for the pharmacist on duty.

Try not to let it annoy you though, you have enough on your plate. Hope he gets well soon.

The receptionist may have been told to ask, we certainly were at the GP practice I worked at (which we hated doing) because sometimes it's more appropriate to see the nurse practitioner.
She shouldn't have said it IMO, not necessary at all, even not being privy to your DH's medical history while booking appointments isn't an excuse. I would have cringed if I had heard a colleague making a crack like that, there's being nice and friendly and then there's not knowing when to shut up.
YANBU (and I nearly always stand up for GP receptionists!)

MrsDeVere

Some people on this thread have serious case of sociopathy lacking social conscience.

Oops.

MrsdeVere the OP asked if she was unreasonable at being annoyed by the receptionists remark.

A number of us think she is being unreasonable.

Isn't that what AIBU is about? Posters saying whether they think she is, or isn't.

Fair enough that you think she's right to be annoyed.

But I don't think it's fair enough that you are trying to make people feel bad in telling the OP what they think. Very aggressively with your 'fucking rude's and FFS punctuating your posts. And referring to those not agreeing with you, in effect, as 'twats'.

Seriously? You think I lack a social conscience because I don't agree with the idea that this receptionist was out of order when she made a light hearted joke that the op took personally because of her husbands medical condition??

Yes of course. I must be a sociopath. FFS.

Seriously, who gives a crap about his medical history as it was clearly a joke. Can't people laugh about anything any more? How do you cope?

Charming. And totally missing the point.

I, for one, laugh a lot. I find lots of things funny. However...I don't think that my right to laugh trumps someone else's right to a bit of understanding.

Do you really not care that the OP felt upset? Do you really think that everything in life is just a bit of a laugh? You must have been very lucky.

Sorry but the more I read about this the more annoyed I'm getting. slobathome a receptionist dealing with ill people should 'give a crap' and assume that an appointment to deal with a medical problem isn't something to joke about, lighthearted or not. UNLESS the patient (or patients rep in this case) starts it. and even then a crack like that would be iffy at best!
it can be a tightrope dealing with the general public sometimes, I worked as a GP receptionist for several years. Had many, many laughs with the patients and staff. But never once made such a stupid comment as the one in the OP. neither as far as I can remember did any of my colleagues. We would have had our arses handed to us if we did.

I'd have actually found it good to have a chuckle. Might be an Irish thing, but the more serious the problem, the more I try and find a laugh where I can.

No, she wouldn't have known his exact medical history that is true.

But it must be pretty obvious to even the most dimwitted of receptionists that he certainly had something actually wrong with him, else why would his wife have been making a GPs appt in the first place?

For all she knew he could've had a terminal brain tumour blocking his ear canal.

It's not the job to be in if you fancy a bit of light hearted banter with the general public.

I hate that receptionist even ask what for.

9 times out of 10 I don't have a answer as to what is wrong with me, hence I am visiting the dr

I still don't understand why the doctors receptionist asked for personal information in the first place?

it's not her business to ask what the appointment is for unless its to see the nurse re a smear etc.

doctor /patient confidentiality does not extend to the receptionist so she was rude to ask and rude to make a joke of it.

Well there you go then.

Patient confidentiality does extend to the other staff still AFAIK, it was made very clear to me during the training.
she will have been told to ask about the issue while making the appointment so she could put the patient in with the right person. That will be the fault of the practice manager or senior partner not the receptionist