to wish dh wouldn't boast about me/us?

[Hollibaloo]

I know he has good intentions of being complimentary about me and expressing his happiness about us but I feel like his 'boasting' alienates people. For example, if anyone we know is pregnant he'll go on about how much I still did when pregnant. If anyone's about to give birth he'll tell them how I did it pain relief free, was out in 5 hours. If anyone's breastfeeding and expecting their dp to help he'll say how he's never been disturbed at night. If anyone's got their mum over to help with kids he'll mention how I've never had any help, that he didn't even take paternity leave etc. He doesn't say these things in a nasty way, just in a 'recounting his experience' way but it ultimately leads to me getting daggers from whoever he's telling and I think it alienates us. AIBU to think he should stop telling everyone everything when they're going through things, only tell if specifically asked and in a more diplomatic less braggy way?

Sounds to me like your both a bit of a stealth blast couple.
You've just listed loads of examples of your super woman abilities right here.

Just tell him outright its embarrassing and it makes you seem like a pair of dicks. But you won't, cos you secretly quite like it don't you OP. He he.....

Boast not blast !!!

"high needs baby"

"most problems could be solved by bf"

Neither of you have any idea how lucky you have been, how easy a time you've had so far.

Chances are you will be just as lucky, just as smug next time and your DH will carry on being an ignorant twat.

You're as bad as each other.

As asked, have you told him to stop bragging and if so, has he ignored you?

I, too, think you secretly like it as you've listed many of your attributes on this thread.

I ebf, DH was never up at night, I had a pain relief free birth, all my DH did was complain about how tired he was and how hard it all is - this parenting lark, not go on about how great I am.
I am jealous.

The whole not helping no paternity leave - you will come to resent this. Yes, you have been amazing, but why should you have had to have been.
My ExH did all of this it set a pattern of not helping at all, I became exhausted, too exhausted for anything, he had an affair - we are no longer married.
He is wrong to leave it all to you.

Seriously, a pain relief birth is nothing to boast about, it is just the way things happened for you / me. And the other stuff too.

Oh yes and DH had no paternity either!

Your both as bad as each other.
I don't understand what you think he is bragging about though? Nothing in your OP would make me jealous or feel bad.

Next time DH starts bragging about you, just add: "I have no choice but to be wonderful at everything because DH is such a useless fuckwit."

Or something

He might stop then.

He has "high expectations/optimism"?

What if next pregnancy is beset with hyperemesis, SPD, any other illness? What is baby is disabled? What if there is birth trauma?

Sooo many things can happen that your expectations and optimism can just be gone in a flash. Being a smug sod won't help him them.

What does he actually do, OP? Does he spend quality time with you and the DC, or just let you do it all as you're so good at it?

It sounds to me that he's publicly stating his expectations of you so you won't "slip" and ask him to ever be an active parent.

My dh would never let any of those comments pass without challenge.

How bizarre. Why would someone "boast" about not helping with their child? I would feel embarrassed and like people thought I was a mug if my dh actually boasted about not helping me! I ebf and we have joked with others about how dh wouldn't have a clue about ds' sleeping habits (as, yes, a boob solves most issues at this stage and is quicker than a bottle a night) but it wouldn't strike me as something to be particularly proud about! Dh did rave about my mothering skills when drunk to an older relative recently which was nice (especially as I think we both worried I would be a bit shit at it) but afterwards I did feel a bit uncomfortable when demanding the next day he get up early in the morning for example - I shook off my uncomfortableness and still insisted but it made me realise how praising mothering can be a way for men to make women do more...human's want to live up to praise!

I just feel pity for you really - if my DH boasted about not having paternity leave and never helping with the baby I'd be ashamed not proud of being a 'superwoman'. He's got you for a mug.

I don't think OP will be back now.

She's told us how easily she's coped with pregnancy, birth and ebf with no help off her useless arse of a Husband.

Stealth boasting mission accomplished!

I feel sorry for you both. Because you attribute things that are just lucky ( in the sense of fortunate) ,such a a baby that Bfs easily , healthy pregnancies or a short easy labour , to your skill as parents.

So when soemthing goes wrong for you , you will feel it is your fault and you may blame yourselves or each other, risking your perfect marriage and making it hard for you to tackle the problem

I also don't understand why your husband is boasting about being such a terrible dad. No wonder your friends feel sorry for you

I'm confused - why does he think bragging about not helping with his newborn child is something to brag about?! He doesn't sound very respectful of you in general.

puppymonkey

My post came out all funny! Erm why does he think not helping with nb is something to brag about?! Idiot