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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Aibu - crap staff using mental health excuses

278 replies

Joiningthegang · 22/08/2013 20:30

Aibu to think that whilst there are many many people with genuine mental health issues, I am sooo pissed off that when crap member of staff is "found out" they play the mental Health stress card, get signed off sick and you can't really do anything about it.

I am mostly pissed off because they ruin it for the genuinely ill people.

OP posts:
TylerHopkins · 22/08/2013 21:53

I think the thing to try and understand is that not everyone copes in the same way. I too am guilty of wanting people to 'get a grip' in some situations but you have to accept they might not be as strong as you.

japonicabumsplatt · 22/08/2013 21:53

You know all about depression do you? What do you know about my depression? so maybe I am not cut from the same sturdy material as yourself, so I am obviously "weak" then, not as tough and sturdy as you are.
How would I feel working in your position? Erm. don't really know, b8ut you like to think you know how your colleague feels or operates and to comment on such.

MollyHooper · 22/08/2013 21:54

Surely you can understand that everyone suffers differently littleclould?

Some people just can't keep going regardless of how the were brought up.

garlicagain · 22/08/2013 21:54

It's funny, my ex-boss had exactly the same complaint when I got signed off due to the breakdown I got through battling against his insane bullying. He also complained about my "weak" predecessor, who wisely walked out of the job while Mad Boss was in mid-rant, another one who'd had a breakdown, and the "unstable" one who'd gone off sick with stress and killed herself.

If you find something happening a lot, it's wise to ask yourself whether you might be the common denominator.

perplexedpirate · 22/08/2013 21:54

Are we derailing?
CBB is on. Apparently 'Abz' is in. I only know from twitter.
Wine

PS bite me OPSmile

WillyandTig · 22/08/2013 21:54

Tyler, it's not about strength ffs. Its an illness. You can't control it.

littlecloud · 22/08/2013 21:55

Montybojangles if that was the case our job would take on another person as that would foreseen. So we'd work around that. Appt are pre-booked normally my erk is this person is full time asks for extra hours. Then often gets sent home, storms out etc. so we can't have extra staff just in case they aren't having a good day and don't want to be in the building anymore.

So your answer is no I would not feel the same about someone with cancer.

BonaDea · 22/08/2013 21:55

I'm an employment lawyer actually. I am not for a second suggesting that work place stress doesn't exist (in fact my mother recently took early retirement because of it) but the incidence of people without any prior history or symptoms becoming stressed or depressed when any small issue is raised is ridiculous.

I think it undermines those with genuine issues.

japonicabumsplatt · 22/08/2013 21:56

This reply has been deleted

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SparkleToffee · 22/08/2013 21:56

I do sort of get what you are saying OP....... Snd I also understand why dome people are upset.

I have suffered for 25 years with OCD, anxiety and panic attacks. Last year my DSis was signed off work (public sector) for 2.5 months with depression. I am v close to her and whilst I don't doubt she was finding work hard, I was very dubious about it being actual clinical depression, versus having a bad few months / struggling with work load.

The whole time she was off she was going to the gym, had personal training sessions 4 times a week, 4 day holiday to celebrate her birthday. Out drinking with friends all day on bank holidays, shopping with my mum etc etc.

I found it very difficult to come to terms with this because I can assure you she was not ill. I also understand she felt at the end if her tether with work and maybe even felt like it was "owed to her" for putting with with so much nonsense from them...... But I do think it was wrong for it to be labelled as depression. My best friend committed suicide 12 years ago and whilst he struggled to maintain a front he was totally physically snd too balky unable to do the things my sister did eh

usualsuspect · 22/08/2013 21:56

I have CBB on , the batterbys from Corro are in it.

Spikeytree · 22/08/2013 21:56

It is so fucking wonderful having a MH problem, it is no surprise everyone pretends. I mean, look at how much understanding and empathy you get from those around you.

SparkleToffee · 22/08/2013 21:57

So I meant to say that I do understand why you are frustrated at being short staffed and that y

x2boys · 22/08/2013 21:58

yes I am a nurse and bipolar is very popular on forums like this I just wonder if people who claim to have it have any idea about the real highs and I mean when people are grandiose having delusions they are god for example believing they have special powers to the than very real lows cant get out of bed suicidal etc it is also extremely rare to get diagnosed at 13 late teens early twenties are when people are generally diagnosed has anybody seen the programme on bbc3 don't call me crazy I work for that trust.

Caff2 · 22/08/2013 21:58

Work place stress could be a trigger for stress related mental illness. Bi polar disorder will not be triggered by an external factor, it's an illness inherent in a person, and not that "popular" with those who have it, as far as I can gather.

PresidentServalan · 22/08/2013 21:58

You are right OP - they should probably lock us all up so that we don't upset our work colleagues.... At least you can get away from it when you leave work - not so easy if you are the one going through it

littlecloud · 22/08/2013 21:59

I've said this over and over again their trigger is our working environment her BF says she is a completely different person at work and he can see this, thus having a negative effect on the team. And someone with any other ailment wouldn't make a working environment hostile and uneasy unless that was there personality an in that case I doubt they would have been employed in my line of work in the first place.

TheOrchardKeeper · 22/08/2013 21:59

Most people experience different symptoms/issues within the same illness. So you can't expect everyone to react the same way. We're complex things that are shaped by our individual genetics and life experiences, so of course people have different experiences of the same MH illness.

And that's the point, it's not how strong you are. I didn't particularly enjoy feeling panicked about everything, like it was life or death for ages. If I could've 'helped it' I would've. There probably are the odd few who fake it or lean on it but same goes for physical injuries and they are in the minority...

It's funny, I thought it was 203 when I woke up this morning Hmm

Salmotrutta · 22/08/2013 22:00

BonaDea - just because someone isn't displaying symptoms or doesn't have a "history" does not mean they haven't been struggling on and hiding their distress.

McNewPants2013 · 22/08/2013 22:00

I do believe there are a very small amount of people who do fake MH problems to get signed off sick.

Spikeytree · 22/08/2013 22:00

The postings of so-called professionals on this thread are truly disturbing, but I suspect of no surprise to those of us who have had the misfortune to encounter MH services.

WillyandTig · 22/08/2013 22:01

Great. So if anyone is treated by that trust, beware, x2boys will think you are making it up because its popular. No wonder people fucking struggle to trust mental healthcare professionals.

SparkleToffee · 22/08/2013 22:01

Argh this phone! I understand you are frustrated at being short staffed. But even if you suspect someone is trying to work the system, it is not for you to judge....... Very few people know about my problems because they are well hidden. I would hate to be judged just because I had successfully managed to hide my problems for so long

Caff2 · 22/08/2013 22:01

I really have a very, very good idea about the highs and lows of bipolar disorder and would reiterate that among my close family members it's about as "popular" as a hole in the head and incredibly hard to deal with.

WillyandTig · 22/08/2013 22:01

Definitely not a surprise spikey.

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