Aibu - crap staff using mental health excuses

[Joiningthegang]

Aibu to think that whilst there are many many people with genuine mental health issues, I am sooo pissed off that when crap member of staff is "found out" they play the mental Health stress card, get signed off sick and you can't really do anything about it.

I am mostly pissed off because they ruin it for the genuinely ill people.

[reelingintheyears]

Bloody lead swungers.

I was swunging the dogs lead a while back and it wrapped round my legs and hurt.

Everyone at home laughed at me.

Bastards.

[RebeccaMumsnet]

Hi all,

Thanks for the reports about this thread.

Our policy is to keep intervention to a minimum and let the conversation flow. Having said that, we will remove postings that are contain personal attacks, if you want to know more it's all in our Talk guidelines

Mental health issues affect many many folks on MN in various ways as you can see from our Talk board , can we ask that folks think before posting and have a general respect for others.

Please do also take a look at our Mental health webguide

[Nilgiri]

babyheave for that brilliant post.

[kali110]

Im actually upset reading this thread. I was diagnosed with clinical depression at 17. Apart from few friends i told noone, not even my parents. People never would have guessed as i was so happy and jolly.i worked loads of shifts and went out just so i didn't have to spend time on my own.
I can understand little loud you having to put up with the slack but that isn't your colleagues fault.
The jobs stressful and a trigger, the job markets hard, i bet she would be a lot more stressful if she was unemployed.
You get upset working with her, then leave, why should she?
You have to work your days off, no you don't. When someone was off with depression i worked a load of her shifts as we were so short. I didn't want to let them down, but it was making me ill. So i stopped! It wasn't my responsibility to cover.
If you are ill then you need to take time off. Yes your employers maybe short for a while, but they'll be short even longer if you get really sick. If you're not physically fit for work then you can go. If you choose to then thats up to you, but you cant moan about it.

[Tiredemma]

I had hoped that I would log in today and see some common sense and some empathy on here.

Sadly not.

I am a Mental Health Nurse. Im saddened (actually disgusted) by some of the attitudes on here.

We still obviously have such a long way to go before the ignorant are educated.

There but for the grace of God go I.

[LookingThroughTheFog]

Rarely has a thread made me more angry.

Imagine these statements:

'You know what ticks me off? SN children. Why should my neurotypical children be inconvenienced with all these SEN children in their class! Taking the teacher's attention. Taking up resources. They should all be rounded up and kept somewhere together because it's not my children's fault, and they shouldn't have to learn to work with all people in the community! Segregation! That's what we need!'

Or...

'You know who pisses me off? Old people. They're always walking so slowly along the road when I want to get and do my shopping! Why should I be inconvenienced for them? And they're always gossiping with each other! How dare they get in my way? They should have time restrictions where if you can't walk comfortably at 5mph then you shouldn't be allowed on the pavement. They should stay in their houses and get stuff delivered.'

Or...

'I was stuck behind a bloody blind man at the cash point. I think he must have been simple, because each time the machine beeped at him, he hit the wrong button. He kept muttering that they'd changed the menu, but that's hardly my fault is it? He was taking too long and getting upset about it, like that's my problem. He should stay out of the way and only go into the bank to get his money.'

It is simply not acceptable to wish a huge section of the population away because it inconveniences you!

Like others here, I should not be at work, but I am, because otherwise we will be beyond poverty. Have you seen the horror stories coming out of ATOS? The way people are treated there? And that would be to get a pittance of money that would still be too little to live on with two children. If I resign, I can't claim JSA.

I don't get to leave my mental illness somewhere else for any part of the day to take a break from it. I'm working on getting better (and yes, was told I had to do some physical exercise every day, by a psychiatrist - I don't do the gym because I can't afford it, despite knowing that my mental health benefits most from swimming.) I take a lot of medication. The medication also makes me ill.

On Wednesday night I was curled up on my kitchen hair, pulling my hair out, trying to breathe slow enough to get up and make a cup of tea. It took me 25 minutes. I had another episode yesterday at work. I was pacing the office, unable to stop, not able to keep my hands from waiving, not able to stop talking. Crying and saying 'I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry!' even while it was happening and completely unable to stop. Fortunately it didn't get worse than that, and it ended after 15 minutes.

But I have to work. I used to be healthy, when I took the job and got the mortgage. I have absolutely no choices here. Yes I'm aware that people talk about me. Yes it bloody hurts, but I have no choice at all about any of this.

Mental illness happens indiscriminately. You can't be 'strong enough to take it'. You're not too educated for it. You can't buy your way out of it. You can't see it coming and you can't prevent it.

[RoastedCouchPotatoes]

Looking for a post which says it all, basically.

[LRDPomogiMnyeSRabotoi]

You are brilliant, babyheave.

for you.

[ParsingFancy]

And to Looking. Another superb, articulate, accurate post.

[Tiredemma]

"Mental illness happens indiscriminately. You can't be 'strong enough to take it'. You're not too educated for it. You can't buy your way out of it. You can't see it coming and you can't prevent it"

^ THIS

[nenevomito]

Looking.

Yes - the drugs make me tired, lethargic and twitchy. I hate having to take them every day.

Yes - I started my job and took on my mortgage after an long period of stability.

I am lucky that my work colleagues know and respect me enough to ignore the fact that I randomly wave my hands around, walk out of the office, get shaky and forget things easily.

I have to work much harder to keep hold of my job when it takes me 2 hours to get out of bed in the morning due to the meds and every step is a struggle to get into work, and having to write absolutely everything down that's said before midday or I will just forget it.

No one can see what's going on inside though can they. I look just fine.
This is the reality for a lot of people with MH issues.

Don't get me started on ATOSsers. The first hand knowledge of treatment and cruelty towards people with MH issues via that process has left me wondering whether there's any compassion or understanding left at all in Whitehall.

[LookingThroughTheFog]

for you too, babyheave.

It's a fucker and no mistake.

Yes, I think that many, many other conditions are also a fucker. But mental illness is no less of a fucker.

The other problem that arises with mental illness, is that regularly the 'process of elimination' method is used to work out what treatment to use. I'm on antidepressants number 6 and 7. I've only been on 7 for four weeks, and it's causing no end of problems. I imagine I'll be taken off it when I see the psychiatrist again.

Given that it can take around 6 weeks for an antidepressant to have a therapeutic effect, if that one isn't going to work for you, you don't know for quite some time. Then there's the next one for the period, then the next one. This meant that when I was put on the most recent one, I was back at work. I eventually had to leave again because there was no way I could stay in on it. The psychiatrist suggested that I take 5 days for my system to adjust, but I took 2 because all the time, constantly, I'm trying to reduce the amount of time I'm not at work, not simply because of the work that needs to be done, but because I fear the recriminations so much.

I can't adjust that time to suit other people. If I could, I totally would.

[Wannabestepfordwife]

My dp is suffers from depression and was a prolific self harmer (he hasn't harmed in over 18 months I'm really really proud of him)

He has never taken time off work and he needs projects outside of work otherwise his anxiety levels go through the roof. Mental illness really isn't a one cap fits all illness.

No one at his work has any idea about his condition as he doesn't want people to know what a "freak" and "psycho" he is his words.

The stigma around mh issues is one reason dp self harms and why he won't seek professional help.

I really hope if dd inherits depression from dp and other members of his family she doesn't face the same stigma.

[LookingThroughTheFog]

That's also very true, Stepford.

I'm of the type who struggles to even brush her teeth when I'm in a very down period. Bathing, brushing hair and the like are beyond me. I have a friend in group who know she's ill when she can't leave the house without washing her face and reapplying make-up at least twice, usually more. She carries a hairbrush around to re-do hair when she gets to the bus, on the bus, arriving at work and so forth. It's possible that someone would look at the pair of us and find me, disheveled, greasy, occasionally wearing dirty clothes and so forth as the ill one and her obviously fine as she's so well groomed, when we're both relatively similar.

[Wannabestepfordwife]

It's not just the psychological symptoms there's also the physical symptoms.

When dp is in an episode he has tension migraines and the fact he manages to work through them is a testiment to how strong he is.

Dp is so proud that he would prefer to work himself into the ground then be seen as weak. I'm horrified and saddend that in this day and age he's right that people do see mental illness as a weakness.

[woollyideas]

MrsDeVere.

I can't believe this comment upthread: I was disheartened by the frequency (when I still worked for a big organisation) with which people in performance management or disciplinary would suddenly raise mental health problems.

I was bullied mercilessly by my line manager for four years and used to go home shaking and crying every day. My Doc put me on medication for severe anxiety and offered to sign me off, but I refused and continued going into work, because I was concerned about how my absence might be perceived. Finally, I found the courage to report my manager's bullying. She immediately claimed I was a poor performer, despite never having raised concerns previously. This was my rock bottom... the stress of this accusation, coupled with four years of bullying, led to a breakdown. I was signed off work for a year and got seriously in debt. Maybe the poster who wrote the above comment would consider the 'coincidence' of me going off sick, or 'suddenly raising mental health issues' points to dubious behaviour on my part. In fact, putting an already stressed person into 'performance management' could be the straw that broke the camel's back .

[kali110]

Wooly iv been there :-( where do these evil people come from?

[Joiningthegang]

In response, I didn't "bog off" I have been at work.

To reiterate my op I don't in any way think that there are a large number of people with significant mental health issues and I understand how hideous that must be for them.

My point was the frustration when you suspect someone to be avoiding a situation and sing MH issues , which can happen in a minority of cases, as can physical illness.

However, having read the responses you are right, I don't know if they are genuine or not, on which case I should assume they are.

My thread was born of frustration after a bad day - my intention was not to offend and I apologise to those I have upset.

This thread has genuinely made me think about the situation an try to be more compassionate - so thanks for that.

[Joiningthegang]

Should have proof read - I do believe there are a large number of people with mental Ralph issues. I don't believe the vast majority are faking it. Sorry

[EdieSedgwick]

Brilliant post babyheave.

[martha2013]

My parents have always encouraged me to hide my mental health problems from the world, including from them. Once when very poorly, I attempted to hang myself following intrusive voices and was promptly sectioned. They phoned my boss to say I had food poisoning and would be back in a week. It is horrific and scary being held against your will in a psychiatric unit but it is more horrific to hear your parents are too ashamed of you to be honest, and more scary that you have to 'pull yourself together' and be 'fine' in a week. I know they did what they thought would be best for me but it is attitudes like some of those outlined on this thread that have led them to this way of thinking.

Please dont think of MH sufferers as weak, many I have met are exceptionally strong, they have had to be.