To think I am NOT being racist if I say I am not attracted to a Pakistani person?

[funkypigeon]

I am newly-ish single after a long marriage to a man from the Middle East.
I had a conversation with a few friends today, over coffee we got talking about types of men that we are attracted to. I said Mediterranean, Middle Eastern. Then I said I am not usually attracted to Asian men, and my friend said that was being racist.

I am shocked tbh. Am I? I've got loads of Asian friends, and colleagues. Just because I don't fancy them doesn't mean I would ever be rude or treat them differently.

Opinions please!

Strokey, I also find that statement a bit odd. Children look like their parents in many ways. My friend has two mixed race children and her daughter is her image, albeit with a different skin colour.

Personally my "type" is very very pale blokes (I like goths, it makes sense) often with blue eyes and that tends to rule out asian guys. It also rules out tanned guys. No idea if that seems racist, I just have a narrow ideal. Probably a more sensible way of viewing it would be to go on personality alone, and I know people do, but it's not easy to ignore physical attraction.

Words fail me

Not sure if you are being racist or not, OP. But I will say, that after always having had a preference for tall, fair Caucasian men, I am now madly in love (and lust) with a man who is just about the opposite of everything I ever found attractive. He is Chinese, 1cm shorter than me, kind of skinny, smooth chest, doesn't get stubble - so many things, and yet now I look at him and I am amazed thinking what I would have missed if I hadn't taken a chance on being with him because 'I don't fancy Chinese men'. Just saying!

But surely with a black father my children would have dark skin, eyes and hair?? Right? Whereas I am blonde, with very blue eyes. If I were to mate with a black man, I assume there would be zero chance of our offspring inheriting my blue eyes?? Or what?

Isnt there some theory about being attracted to people who could be a sibling? Based on looks? My husband is also blonde with blue eyes, and looks very like me. People always say we could be brother and sister.

Im sure Ive read something about it

oh barf @ mate with a black man

jesus murphy

You are definitely no geneticist are you strokey?

nothing like trivialising human relationships, eh mrs devere

mate indeed

gross gross gross

well, I don't know why, but I usually am never attracted to Germans. It is racist to me. It's different to say "I've never been attracted to anyone German previously" IMO as that is a simple fact. To then rule out a whole race of people for future consideration is judgemental etc etc.

I could say that usually I am not attracted to black, asian, etc men, but I could not say that I've never been attracted to anyone black, asian, etc, because I have. But it is still true that usually I'm not.

(of course it's bad grammar to say "I usually am never attracted to". You are usually not attracted or you are never attracted.)

Are you kidding strokey?

If you're attracted to your siblings you have bigger problems than NOT being attracted to non-whites

God this thread is giving me a headache. Time to bugger off and eat some cake.

Very funny, I think Im right actually, black men don't tend to father little blonde children.

My point is that no, its not racist, its just a preference IMO.

One of my oldest friends is married to a Sri Lankan. She never fancied Asian blokes until she met her husband. It's the person not the ethnicity.

Reading "mate with a black man" has left me at a loss for words.

What.the.fuck?

Strokey, chances are quite a few black men (and women) are actually mixed race and carry genes for blue eyes, even blonde hair and fair skin.

You are right in people choosing partners somewhat more similar to their families, but that also includes other people we are in contact with when growing up.
Being similar may not be only about skin/hair/eye colour. It includes loads of other characteristics, such as height, shape (head, nose, ears, eyes, body), weight even, hair, voice, way of moving, even wearing glasses or not.

It's not 100%, though.

Refusing to consider black men because they won't give you your little blonde dolly child is racist.

Seriously. I have never considered someone's race when deciding if they're fit or not. Show me 100 men from any race you can think of, I'll find at least one that I would jump in a heartbeat. Statistically, you just would, wouldn't you?

The things you are saying are the sort of things that a total fuckwit might say.

Arf QTF.

I don't want a little blonde dolly though, just a child who resembles me. If that makes me racist according to you, that's fine with me.

probably just as well. imagine being the mixed race child of a mother like that