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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Would you leave your baby unattended in their buggy

999 replies

noblegiraffe · 20/08/2013 13:17

...while you use the loo?

On another thread I mentioned not being able to get a buggy into a small cubicle and the suggestion was to leave baby outside.

Would I be overly precious in thinking 'No, I wouldn't do that'?

OP posts:
MrsKoala · 20/08/2013 21:12

why not just leave the door open then?

McNewPants2013 · 20/08/2013 21:16

It gets on my goat when DS has to wait, and he has quite a few times.

Disabled toilet are for the use of the disabled, and when doubled up as a baby changing facility then people are using extra time going to the toilet on top of the time it takes to change a nappy.

My son is 7 and he can use normal facility, if they are not full. When he needs to go he needs to go. ( he has autism) or he will wet himself.

Emilythornesbff · 20/08/2013 21:16

The cubicles are in use.
The disabled loo is the only one available.

And yes. It happens

MrsKoala · 20/08/2013 21:17

I must say Emily - after i had DS i was double incontinent (bad rectal tearing) and i did use the disabled loos rather than shit myself on more than one occasion. I even used the mens once. Blush

MortifiedAdams · 20/08/2013 21:19

I just choose the baby changing cubicles which have loo, changing table etc in. Or I dont pee «bladder of steel»

Emilythornesbff · 20/08/2013 21:21

Of course you bloody did mrsk you'd have been mad not to.
Now please tell me that pelvic floor exercises do work and it will get better Grin

candycoatedwaterdrops · 20/08/2013 21:23

None of people on this thread who've said they 'pop in' to the disabled toilets have said they were so desperate they'd have an accident if they didn't go. Confused

MrsDeVere · 20/08/2013 21:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Spikeytree · 20/08/2013 21:27

I must be lucky then, I've never been in a situation where the only facilities available are the ones for people with disabilities. In fact quite the opposite. If a person has a genuine medical condition then I am sure the use of the facilities is appropriate. Having a buggy is not, afaik, a recognised disability.

Years ago, when I was a lass and people with disabilities were not allowed to go to the toilet outside of the home, people with prams (usually massive things) were quite able to go to the toilet without an epidemic of child snatching sweeping the country.

appletarts · 20/08/2013 21:30

Just putting it out there...what about people who shag in disabled loos? Unimaginable horror but people do it!

MrsKoala · 20/08/2013 21:31

Sorry MrsD i didn't mean to set it up as an argument. I agree with you. I use a cubicle and leave the door open as said earlier. I was just saying the only reason i have had to use them - when i was genuinely disabled by birth trauma (blue badge or not)

Spikeytree · 20/08/2013 21:33

I don't know why I bother posting when MrsDeVere puts it so much more eloquently than I can!

Wallison · 20/08/2013 21:38

I agree with MrsDeVere too. My ds is older now but when he was a baby I would never have dreamt of using a disabled toilet on the off-chance that a crazed child-snatcher was looking for some golden opportunity while I took 30 seconds to have a piss. I left him outside if I couldn't fit the buggy in the cubicle and absolutely nothing happened to him. He didn't even hang himself.

AlwaysWashing · 20/08/2013 21:47

A risk is a risk and if I can avoid one I will. My children are precious and I don't give a rats ass if anyone thinks I'm terribly pfb about either if them.
I would never leave either of them while I went to the loo and I'm afraid wouldn't feel guilty about having a 3 minute wee & hand wash in the disabled loo - sorry.

I have a friend, a really good friend, who ridicules me regularly about my pfb tendencies but then she's happy to leave her 2 asleep in the car while she goes round the supermarket for the weekly groceries.

LegoAcupuncture · 20/08/2013 21:48

Totally with Usual and MrsDV on tis one.

I have three DC, the oldest is 10, the youngest is 4. I've never used a disabled toilet when out with a pram. I've parked myself in the end cubicle with the door slightly ajar so I an see the baby. What's the worse that can happen? Someone might peek and see my fat arse?

I use a disabled toilet now as one of my DC is disabled, but I would only use that toilet if they needed the toilet. Occasionally we can use the normal toilets, depends on the circumstances.

A few weeks ago I was out with him and we used the disabled toilets. On exiting I was accosted by an old lady who had a huge go at me as she had saw us go in(using a radar key) and clearly neither of us were disabled. She told me to stay where I was as she as going to get the security guard. Silly old cow. She got a few choice words and off I went. Made me feel rotten for the rest of the day though.

Wallison · 20/08/2013 21:54

AlwaysWashing, I'm not bothered about people thinking I'm pfb either. What I am bothered about though, is using a facility that has been designed to enable other people to be able to go about their daily business and that I have no right to be anywhere near. What if your 'three minute wee and hand wash' meant that someone for whom the facility was expressly built wasn't able to access it when they needed to? Wouldn't you feel absolutely awful?

pamish · 20/08/2013 21:55

Let's hope that public toilet designers are reading this thread. The problem is one of bad, unimaginative design, not how we are forced to improvise solutions to very common problems.

Wallison · 20/08/2013 22:01

I don't think it is, actually. Most toilets are fine. Ok, some are a bit dirty and you can't lock the door, but they do the job they need to do. They just aren't designed to accommodate buggies, but since they don't actually have to accommodate buggies because you can leave buggies outside the cubicle then that is fine.

Dawndonnaagain · 20/08/2013 22:02

I would never leave either of them while I went to the loo and I'm afraid wouldn't feel guilty about having a 3 minute wee & hand wash in the disabled loo - sorry.
But you're not sorry are you, you've already said you don't give a rats arse if you cause my daughter pain, embarrassment, discomfort. Apart from which, surely sorry means a change of behaviour?

GobbySadcase · 20/08/2013 22:04

Wallison of course not, as long as her pweshus baybeeeez are ok.

pigletmania · 20/08/2013 22:04

I would use the disabled toilet, or take the Chidren in the cubicle if they are able to stand, Noway would I eave my most precious things in the weld alone!

5madthings · 20/08/2013 22:08

Heaven forbid a baby be left in a buggy inches away for 60seconds whilst you have a wee.

If you don't want to leave your baby outside the cubicle then use a sling, ask someone to watch them, prop the door open an inch. Do whatever you fucking want but don't use the disabled toilet that you are not entitled to use!

Seriously, I have five children, have had three under five and yet haven't used the disabled toilets, because I do not have a disability.

Spikeytree · 20/08/2013 22:14

All those unable to leave their 'precious' babies (aren't they all precious?), why not start a campaign to get your own facilities? Just like people with disabilities did. You could tell your story to the papers, just like people with disabilities did. You could set up access groups in your local areas, just like people with disabilities did. Or you could just abuse the facilities that make life possible for people with disabilities.

LegoAcupuncture · 20/08/2013 22:17

The big shopping centre by me has pram accessible toilets in both the women's and men's toilets. There are two cubicles in each. Shame not more places follow suit.

Wallison · 20/08/2013 22:19

GobbySadcase, I haven't really been on one of these type of threads before (from reading some of the responses this is something that has been hashed out a lot) and I am absolutely astonished at some of the responses on here. A toilet expressly built for people with disabilities is not just some lovely big free space for people who don't have disabilities to do as they like in; it's an essential provision without which people with disabilities would not be able to leave the house ie live their lives at all. You just can't go mucking about with stuff like that on the off-chance that Thompson and Venables will come along and STEAL YOUR BABY while you are admittedly separated from them by a door that is ajar but only at a distance of inches away from them.