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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would you leave your baby unattended in their buggy

999 replies

noblegiraffe · 20/08/2013 13:17

...while you use the loo?

On another thread I mentioned not being able to get a buggy into a small cubicle and the suggestion was to leave baby outside.

Would I be overly precious in thinking 'No, I wouldn't do that'?

OP posts:
Original poster
noblegiraffe · 20/08/2013 23:52

5mad, I said I would do the same thing again in the same situation (urgent need) you said you wouldn't. But then said in situations where you are unwell it's ok. Crossed wires, perhaps.

OP posts:
5madthings · 21/08/2013 00:02

On this tjrea dthe question is would you leave your baby unattempted even tho they are not really unattemded you have not mentioned the needing to go so desperately that you are going to shit yourself.'ergo we are talking (in the main) about general toilet use.

On the other thread you outlined the urgemnt need which would class as a reason to use a disabled toilet. Hence the confusioni think?

And no I wouldtn unless there was absolutely no choice ie a big queue, I would try asking to go to the front of the queue and if I had to I would she the disabled toilet, but it really would be a last resort. It simply doesn't occur to me to use the disabled toilet as I have no need as I can access regular toilets. Its that simple to me.

Yet lots of people are saying they would use them as par for the course,,as tho having a baby entitles them to do so.

cloudpuff · 21/08/2013 00:33

It's a good idea to campaign for more family friendly toilets to be built, and remove the changing facilities from disabled toilets, but sadly, from some of the entitled selfish attitudes I've read on here the last few days, people would still think its their right to abuse the disabled facilities because there is a queue for the changing area

Special circumstances like illness as a one off fine, but Im shocked at the amount who are admitting to using them regularly. I don't have a disability, and don't have anyone close to me who does so you can say I don't know what im talking about, those of you who face these attitudes on a daily basis have my respect and admiration. I can't imagine how hard it must be.

Ilovemyself · 21/08/2013 06:23

I love the way people are being called entitled for using the disabled loo. But what are you supposed to do if you need the toilet an the facilities provided do not allow you to take your buggy in.

Sorry, but I am not leaving my children or the contents of my shopping bags unattended. In the time I have been doing it I have caused not one person any issue causing them problems. The only time I have seen someone waiting they were more amused at the fact I was sorry I had held them up.

I use the disabled like I would use the ladies toilet. Very seldomly, only when I really have to and in a way that has as little impact on other users as possible.

How many people fighting to the correct use of disabled toilets on here actually need to use them? I bet most are just like the others fighting someone else's battles. They fight for what they think us right and not what those affected need.

And for those of you that are actually affected I would politely ask how often this is a problem for you. You are the people I will listen to

pumpkinsweetie · 21/08/2013 06:43

Never in rl have i heard such outcry over using a disabled loo!

ilovecolinfirth · 21/08/2013 06:43

Just hold baby whilst going to the toilet or use disabled. I wouldn't leave a buggy outside the cubicle.

TheBleedinObvious · 21/08/2013 06:48

No

I go to the end cubicle, put the buggy in front of it to create a barrier of sorts and leave the door open. I do the same for change rooms at shops (I do ask the attendant first if there is a larger one to use and if this is ok).

Am not comfortable leaving a baby/toddler alone at all.

TheBleedinObvious · 21/08/2013 06:52

I also talk loudish to dc so people don't think the baby+buggy have been abandoned and come and investigate Blush

pumpkinsweetie · 21/08/2013 06:52

In my area the baby change is in the disbled toilets so if you can use them for that reason there isn't really any difference. They are intended for the disabled & for families and aslong as you are not holding up a disabled person then i don't see the problem.
Eyes are more likely to rolled at mothers who leave their children unattended.

It's a small risk but quite simply it isn't a risk worth taking for the sake of a pee.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 21/08/2013 07:06

Ilovemyself...it was a problem for us just last weekend.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 21/08/2013 07:07

Thank goodness there are people like cloudpuff around Thanks

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 21/08/2013 07:12

What happened at weekend:

DH couldn't get in to change DD as disabled toilet was full of parents and there was queue.

She had huge screaming meltdown.

Meanwhile I had to sit and listen to woman at next table criticising DD and DH because 'she isn't even small and she is screaming, how awful'

So reading people blithely talking about using the disabled toilet is depressing to say the least

MrsDeVere · 21/08/2013 07:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Lambsie · 21/08/2013 07:51

I think it is ok for anyone to use the disabled toilet if they are really desperate to go bit this should be a rare occurence. The disabled toilet is the only place I can change my disabled son and he is now getting to the age where it is the only place I can go if I am on my own with him. If you have a buggy you can use the end toilet like I used to.

Stampstamp · 21/08/2013 07:59

I leave my DD outside the cubicle in a buggy and wee quickly!

Ilovemyself · 21/08/2013 08:03

Fanjo. It does depend on the disabled loo vs disabled loo / baby changing facilities.

If it is the former, those queuing should have let you in first. If it was the latter then I think having to queue is fair, although if you could see someone had a child in distress you would hope that others would allow you in ahead of any queue.

I base my comments on never having seen a queue for the disabled loo, and never having had an issue. Even in my islets city centre.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 21/08/2013 08:06

You think it's fair that disabled people have to queue and don't have priority if it's also baby changing facilities?

Seriously?

Jings (channels scottishmummy)

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 21/08/2013 08:07

And because you haven't seen a queue there never is one?

I can't argue with attitudes like this.

If you have read our stories and still hold them, well, it's up to you

Ilovemyself · 21/08/2013 08:08

MrsDeVere. I agree with you to a point. But you can hardly liken leaving your child alone in a public space with leaving your child in a different room at home.

And it's different being 30 secs for a pee or however long it takes for the other ( I work with someone who is never less than 15 minutes). I guess I also have the advantage of not needing a cubicle to pee, so that issue has never been there for me.

GwendolineMaryLacey · 21/08/2013 08:09

End cubicle, pushchair right outside door (although door very firmly shut :o) so I can see the wheels. Bizarrely I take my bag in with me!

Ilovemyself · 21/08/2013 08:10

Fanjo. What attitude. I have NEVER had an issue and as I have said, I would always make way for someone whose needs are greater than mine no matter what the circumstance.

Ilovemyself · 21/08/2013 08:13

Sorry Fanjo. What I meant to say is I have never seen a queue. As I have said, if there was and it was a disabled only loo of course I would give them priority.

MrsDeVere · 21/08/2013 08:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

melika · 21/08/2013 08:19

How does anyone know if you are disabled or not? I have used them rightly or wrongly. I have one kidney and need to go quickly. No one can tell this and is not classed as a disablement.

In answer to OP, I probably have left DC outside cubicle with the buggys wheels firmly in front of door so I can see the wheels and it is the quickest piss ever!

curlew · 21/08/2013 08:32

"From the minute your baby is born, MrsDeVere, you are told not to leave your baby unattended. At the hospital we had to push them around in their little tubs, take them with us to breakfast etc, on pain of being told off by a midwife.
When I signed up baby with the doctor, again, signs everywhere saying DO NOT LEAVE YOUR BABY UNATTENDED.
I took baby to the supermarket today. The trolley had a sign on it with a mum turning her back on her baby with a big cross through it.

Not really a surprise that mums are reluctant to leave their baby out of sight in a public place then, really."

But that's nothing to do with baby snatching. It's to absolve the organisation concerned of responsibility if the baby falls out of the trolley or whatever. Health and safety legislation.