Would you leave your baby unattended in their buggy

[noblegiraffe]

...while you use the loo?

On another thread I mentioned not being able to get a buggy into a small cubicle and the suggestion was to leave baby outside.

Would I be overly precious in thinking 'No, I wouldn't do that'?

So because child abduction (or harm from a stranger) is rare, it's not worth bothering about.

I think ilovemyself is right.
I would always let someone whose needs are greater than mine go ahead of me. I don't believe that means I shouldn't use an accessible loo if that is the safest option for my DCs. Especially if that's where the changing facilities are.
Disability or needing to use accessible facilities is not a black and white issue. If I go out with my friend who does have a "blue badge" my need for a loo in an "emergency" is likely to be far greater than hers. If a disabled loo was the only thing available then I would use it. but I am not disabled so obviously Would be attracting much criticism as my pelvic floor is(as yet) not visible.

Being reasonable needn't be complicated. it's just about seeing who's around you, who is waiting, whether someone looks stressed. Help them out, that's what I do.
It's unfair to make unfounded accusations of disabilism or hurting children towards someone just because they use an accessible lavatory occasionally.
I don't pop into the disabled loo just because I cba to wait for a cubicle.
It's all about context.

I cannot believe that you run your life around something said in an ante natal class.

I don't. Idiotic to suggest that I do. Not wanting to leave my baby out of sight in a public place is apparently quite common, antenatal classes or no.

Pumpkin does it say on the door of the disabled toilets in your area that they are meant for families too because they have the baby change facilities in there?

WRT the situation Fanjo is describing, of course her DH and DD should have taken priority.

Abdication is probably the least of my concerns, although it is still there. And just because it doesn't happen doesn't mean it won't.

The theft of belongings though is quite real so leaving anything unattended is not wise.

Fanjo. It.does depend on the disabled loo vs disabled loo / baby changing facilities.

If it is the former, those queuing should have let you in first. If it was the latter then I think having to queue is fair, although if you could see someone had a child in distress you would hope that others would allow you in ahead of any queue.

I don think so, sorry. Baby change facilities are co-located with disabled facilities yes but I don't think they have equal priority. If I arrived at the loo door at the same time as someone else I would always check if it was ok for me to go in first and wouldn't assume my/DD's need was greater than theirs.

Child abduction of a child in a pram who's Mum (or Dad) is a couple of feet away on the having a wee is SO RARE that it isn't worth bothering about. That is correct.

Have any posters found a single example of it happening in the UK?

Choking would be more of a realistic thing to worry about. BTW I didn't leave my little kids in the car nor would I have left them unattended elsewhere but in the confines of a public loo while I was peeing - the risk is minuscule. You do lots of other things every day that have more risk attached to them - driving for example.

TBH I would be more concerned about 'older' children using public bathrooms alone.

Again, we're back to square one - how do you know someone's needs are greater than yours? They might not want to advertise it, it's embarrassing for some us and we just don't want to announce it to the world either.

It would be much easier if Fanjo could have slipped into the toilet with her little girl last week. Her story just proves to me that we need to further promote the social model of disability. It's never ever the person with the impairment that is the 'problem', it's how society views people with disabilities.

Take buggy into main bit of loo. Look round for kind looking person who doesn't appear to be in a hurry. Say "Would you mind just watching the baby while I pop to the loo?" . Pop to loo. Thank random stranger. Problem solved.

Anything else anyone would like my help with?

I'll do whatever is most practical in the set up on offer. I've done the door open, buggy blocking routine. My local supermarket is the disabled/ baby changer as the arrangement of the pair of doors means that I can't get the pram/ trolley into the ladies. Even if I had a desire to leave the buggy/ trolley unattended, there is no space to leave it there. If a disabled person was queuing after me, I'd offer them priority (assuming my shattered pelvic floor can hold on).

Using a smallish standard cubicle on Guide camp with a 3m old in a sling and 2yr old standing around was a little squishy.

We're not back to square one though. Square one was when the op asked if ppl would leave their child unattended.
Then the thread was hijacked.
I missed fanjo's description of her situation so can't respond to that.
But each situation is unique. Just like each person.

If a loo is occupied it could be by someone who has a severe disability, or a parent changing a baby's nappy, or a cm needing the loo and not wanting to leave her small charges unattended.......

The result is the same. Sometimes ppl have to wait.
It is generally possible, I think, to make a reasonable assessment of need of ppl waiting for a loo.

I'd probably be very british and say 'oh you go first' and see if they took me up on the offer. I wouldn't need a reason.

If they said thanks and went in I'd assume their need is greater than mine. If not then I'd say thanks and go in myself. I would not require a medical history

World peace Curlew

Curlew. That's fine if you are happy with leaving your child with a sstranger but I am not. Abduction isn't the only concern

My friend parked her buggy outside the end loo and had a wee with the door open a jar. She was PG with her second DC. Mid wee her buggy silently wheeled off. She paniced and darted out of the loo, knicks at ther ankles, support tights at ther ankles to chase after the child kidnapper who had stolen her toddler.

Of course it wasn't a real child snatcher but someone elses's pre schooler who wheeled her buggy away round to the sink room whilst his DM was in the loo. Friend had soaking wet knicks and support tights and had to go home. She never did leave her buggy unattended again.

If the baby change facilities are in the disabled access toilet, and you need to change your baby, fine (although I really think they shouldn't be in their). If you need a wee but your baby does not need changing, use the normal cubicle. Prop the door open an inch so you can still see the baby, or close it, or leave it open, whatever.

This does not need to be a complicated issue. People are only getting their knickers in a twist about the idea of leaving their child outside the cubicle because they wrongly believe they have a right to use facilities that are for disabled people. I'm not talking about one off cases of the runs or other urgent need (in which case I would ask the people at the front of the queue if I could go first, and treat disabled access toilet as last resort).

The best analogy I can think of is perhaps if you were waiting for the only toilet, and a gaggle of teenage girls were in there trying on clothes (because they didn't want to queue for the changing rooms, or they couldn't fit all their bags in the changing rooms) and because of that you didn't get to the toilet in time. That would probably piss you off because it is entirely avoidable. If you had to wait because other people were using the toilets that were intended for their intended purpose, then it would still be upsetting but at least it wouldn't have been because some entitled idiot was misusing the facility.

*there

I wouldn't be comfortable with it either Ilove. But nor do I think the disabled toilet is there for that reason. So I shrug, block the door best I can with the buggy facing me (DS barges into the bathroom at home now anyway), bring my bag into the cubicle fully and just hope no-one decides to look around the door. No-one has yet (and I have perfected fast toilet trips).

My right to privacy is less important to me than DS's safety. That's me making a sacrifice, not me forcing a sacrifice on people who already have a harder life than I do.

"Then the thread was hijacked."

The thread was not hijacked. It was a thread about a thread anyway and posters starting saying they'd use the disabled toilet.

Disabled people campaigned to be able to use the toilet in public, if people feel so strongly that their babies are at risk, then they should do the same.

Having a small grinding teeth moment about those people who want to wheel their pushchair into the disabled toilet BECAUSE THEY ARE WORRIED THAT THE BAGS HANGING FROM THE PUSHCHAIR WILL BE TAKEN.

If you didn't have the pushchair, you would be carrying the bags, and you would take them into the toilet with you. So do the same - having a baby doesn't make you incapable of carrying a bag or two. And if you're worried about the fact that you need to take a child capable of standing out of the pushchair and into the toilet with you (as i have said previously, there is a really very small number of months when you genuinely need to leave your child in the pushchair - once they can stand, they come in with you) and so will run out of hands, buy a backpack-style bag.

Isn't the world full of such unreasonable people!

As I said, I have never had an issue for queues for the disabled loos. And as I have also said, as a general rule of courtesy I would say after you to a person that arrived at the same time as me.

Is all about common sense. But as normal the argument is being shown as noone but disabled people use the facilities or everyone uses them as a free for all.

Come on - let's use a bit of common sense. No to situations are the same and shouldn't be treated as such.

Ok teacherwith2kids. I will take 2 17 month olds and a 5 month old out of the buggy, even if they are sleeping.

And the numerous bags. And the items in the carrier in the base.

Instead of being sensible and simply nipping in and out of the disabled loo where there is no queue.

I think it has been hijacked. A bit.
Most ppl said that that they would eiher leave door open, or use shared facilities. Some said they wouldn't worry about child being out of sight or reach for such a short time. Fair enough, each to their own.

But that wasn't enough was it?
It became an arena to bitch about ppl being overly precious about their DCs (v common on aibu) or sweeping accusations were made about barging in front of disabled children and making them soil themselves or to be in pain and distress.
There has been much comment that dismisses the idea that a disabled loo or shared facility might be used to prevent a baby from being left unattended without causing trauma to a more deserving person.

littlebear I too would offer the person behind me (if this were ever to occur) to go ahead before me. I can imagine that being a reasonable approach.
Of course someone might come along while I'm in there but I take less than 60 seconds to use the loo so they'd have to be pretty fast to appear from a previously empty corridor or lobby. And then, given that I would've at least half way through by the time they arrived they would need to wait for an absolute maximum of 30 seconds. Probably more like 10.

I think its about time they stopped putting baby changing in disabled loos, they did it in all the toilets on the caravan site we were on a few months ago. I only used it for really bad poo explosions and it was disgusting. Nappies all over the place and the smell!

Why on earth someone with a disability who can't choose which toilet they use should have to put up with that I don't know

And for those of you that are actually affected I would politely ask how often this is a problem for you. You are the people I will listen to

Most of the time. I rarely get to use the disabled toilet without having to wait for someone with a pram.

The thing is, having a disability puts me in a minority group. Having a child puts you in a majority group. The chances of you encountering a disabled person waiting are slim. The chances of a disabled person encountering an able person with a pram are high.

I have a very limited time on my feet. When that time is used up, there's nothing left and I'm completely immobile. If I have to wait, it's difficult and it means I have to go home earlier and most likely not be able to do what I need to do that day. I can't spend an hour wandering round the shops. I get to go in 1 or 2 only. Waiting for any period of time may well be the straw that breaks the camels back. Waiting for another disabled person has the same result, but it cannot be avoided. Waiting for an able person who is just choosing the easiest option is incredibly frustrating.

Of course they shouldn't have to put up with a filthy loo and nappies being left "all over the place"
Who is saying anyone should?
Noone. Just exactly nobody.