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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Would you leave your baby unattended in their buggy

999 replies

noblegiraffe · 20/08/2013 13:17

...while you use the loo?

On another thread I mentioned not being able to get a buggy into a small cubicle and the suggestion was to leave baby outside.

Would I be overly precious in thinking 'No, I wouldn't do that'?

OP posts:

Permanentlyexhausted · 20/08/2013 23:25

I shall be popping into town tomorrow with the kiddies so I shall take extra care to see if I can find any disabled toilets which are also designated as baby changing facilities. Perhaps I've never noticed them simply because they are disabled toilets and therefore I don't use them. On the other hand I can't think of many ladies toilets that don't have baby changing facilities so perhaps it's never occurred to me to look at the disabled toilets.

Or perhaps the baby changing facilities in disabled toilets are meant for, like, disabled people with babies?

insanityscratching · 20/08/2013 23:25

The only time I have used a disabled toilet is when I have taken my disabled son or daughter to the toilet. When I've had a baby in a buggy I have asked someone waiting if they'd mind keeping an eye on them. I've never had anyone refuse and no one has ever attempted to steal them or the pram AFAIK. Such entitled behaviour makes my blood boil tbh

WandaDoff · 20/08/2013 23:25

Back in 1997 when DS1 was a baby, most disabled toilets needed a radar key to open them so they weren't really an option.

The toilets at the end of the row in the Ladies were generally the ones that parents with pushchairs used & you'd use the loo with the door open, so that baby could see you & you could see your shopping, which was far more likely to get stolen than the baby if you left the pushchair outside. Not a particularly pleasant experience, but it was that or wait.

You also had to fold the pushchair & carry that, the shopping & the baby, if you needed to get the bus home afterwards.

GobbySadcase · 20/08/2013 23:26

Mrs K in those circs you could and should use the disabled.
Acre, try having an 8 year old who you have to watch the ENTIRE time he's conscious as he's probably going to do dangerous stuff that could kill him.

Y'know - same one that shit himself cos people shoved us out of the way to get to the lift...

Emilythornesbff · 20/08/2013 23:28

gobby the examples you give are of people shoving your children aside to get into a lift.
I don't think it's fair to suggest that using a shared facility toilet is akin to that.
I can see that would be extremely distressing for you and your children.
But no one here is advocating anything of the sort. Not even close.

WandaDoff · 20/08/2013 23:28

Oh by the way, I do take my 4 yr old into the disabled toilets, but that is because she is disabled & entitled to use them.

BlehPukeVomit · 20/08/2013 23:28

I left mine outside the loo... It's quicker and even if they cried it would only be for a couple of minutes. The chances of them being abducted must be close to zero in the UK.

I also used to use the disabled loo but i have learnt from my time on Mumsnet that able people should not use the disabled loo and I wouldn't use them now. I am a reformed character

I wouldn't have done it in South Africa though. I was more security concious when I lived there.

MoominsYonisAreScary · 20/08/2013 23:28

I also think its weird that they told you never to leave the baby unattended, unless it was followed by on a table, on the bed, anywhere else they might fall off

GobbySadcase · 20/08/2013 23:29

We've had to wait outside several times... It's the exact same entitled behaviour.

Original poster

noblegiraffe · 20/08/2013 23:29

5mad, if you don't think that imminent shitting oneself isn't a great need, then there's really no convincing you.

OP posts:

GangstersLoveToDance · 20/08/2013 23:30

That, to me, is bu Gobby.

I'm not that bothered myself, but I know of quite a few women who would actually be fairly upset to be coming out of a cubicle and confronted with a bloke in the ladies toilets, even if he did have a baby with him.

My nan for instance would probably have a fainting spell. My elderly auntie too. My 13 year old sister would probably go beet red and be mortified...

Isn't that just another situation where you could be accused of putting your own selfish needs before that of another group in society? Slightly hypocritical really.

soverylucky · 20/08/2013 23:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

acer12 · 20/08/2013 23:30

Teacher- nope when I go toilet at home she is in chair / rocker in my safe home where no one could go through my bag/pram , try shove my baby's dummy back in ( which happens quite a lot!)

If I did go in a cubicle and shut door and ask random stranger ... And all that... If she started crying while I was mid flow I would prob piss myself trying to get up . It's just not worth the soggy knickers .

CoteDAzur · 20/08/2013 23:32

No way. Never left either DC outside a toilet and certainly would have never put them on the floor in the toilet cubicle

If I needed to go, we went together into the disabled toilet and changed nappy while we were there. Never saw anyone waiting outside when I left and never saw or heard judginess about this except on MN. Never saw people making long queues in the toilet while leaving disabled toilet empty, either.

I guess is is a UK thing. Where I am, it is understood that handicapped toilets are not exclusive to handicapped people, but rather toilets that handicapped people have priority for, with changing tables in them for small children.

GobbySadcase · 20/08/2013 23:33

Not particularly. We checked it was empty first.
More an example of piss poor facilities for parents. That doesn't mean you abuse facilities for disabled people instead, though.

soverylucky · 20/08/2013 23:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GobbySadcase · 20/08/2013 23:34

Don't think Cote is in UK. In many places its tankard terminology. Doesn't make it nice, but hey ho.

GobbySadcase · 20/08/2013 23:34

tankard standard

BlehPukeVomit · 20/08/2013 23:35

I never used baby changing rooms as they always often used to stink. This was a while back though and I hope they have changed for the better. I used to use a mat and either the kids stroller or a quiet out-of-view floor.

GangstersLoveToDance · 20/08/2013 23:36

As would df before entering a disabled toilet Gobby.

5madthings · 20/08/2013 23:43

noble we have said/it has been covered that if someone has an urgent need or temporary disability then that is OK. Its not OK to use it simply because you don't want to leave baby/get someone else to watch them etc.

We are talking about he real toilet use, not emergency situations. Fgs.

If you really were about to shit yourself, and there was a big queue for the other toilets etc then that is an urgent need. That has been covered.

And I have been in that situation, luckily there was no queue so I just used a normal toilet and left baby in pushchair, if necessary I have asked someone to watch them in the buggy. For some rather irritating reason I get the runs every time I have my period, its massively annoying but with five kids life cannot stop sadly.

CoteDAzur · 20/08/2013 23:45

It's called toilette handicapė in French. It's almost 1 AM here and my language skills are going downhill

jellybeans · 20/08/2013 23:45

No i would take DC in.

Ilovemyself · 20/08/2013 23:46

If I needed the loo I would use the disabled loo. It's the only place I can fit our triple buggy and on the 1 occasion a disabled person has been waiting outside I was extremely apologetic and they not annoyed in any way.

It's hardly the same as using the disabled loo because you can't be arsed to go to the regular loo.

And are people for real when they say ask a stranger to look after the buggy and children. You do not know who that person is - they could steal from you and god forbid they did take the buggy with children in imaging the uproar - parent left child with a strangera

GangstersLoveToDance · 20/08/2013 23:47

What about someone with a mental health issue - anxiety?

What if leaving a baby/babies in a pushchair on the other side of the door would be incredibly mentally distressing to someone?

Are they allowed to use it then?

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