What's so offensive about breast feeding in public?

[TylerHopkins]

So, I'm watching the evening news with the updates on the breast feeding in the swimming pool story and Angela Epstein appears saying 'people should be considerate of breast feeding mothers however these mothers need to be aware that some people might find what they're doing as offensive'

Another viewer text in to say BFing in public is obscene.

AIBU to ask anyone out there that shares these views to please explain to me why it's offensive? Who are these offended people? Please don't be afraid of coming forward and admitting it if you feel like this. I need an offended person to explain this to me because I really can't get my head around it.

Zombie thread!!!!

LaurieMarlow. You are why people turn against breast feeding in public. The woman was about 50 metres from a large and well stocked mother and baby unit but still chose to be public. Big signs all around. I met the needs of my DCs without undue exposure of my body and without causing anyone any embarrassment.
How cares? Grammar and spelling. How cute!

You are why people turn against breast feeding in public

What a load of shit. People like you are why bf rates in this country are so low. I hope you're proud of yourself.

BF mothers have the legal right to feed anywhere a baby is allowed to be. I'm glad they have that protection because they need it from antiquated dinosaurs like yourself.

I was a very proud breastfeeder of my two DCs. I BF everywhere but was discrete. I didn't just lop out my boobs (frankly cos it gets a bit chilly) but if my baby was hungry, he got fed. Wherever we were.

I remember waiting for someone to tut or object and the day finally came when we were in a very old fashioned naice tea room having lunch. I'd been feeding DS2 (discretely) and noticed a much older lady staring at us.

At the end of her meal, the lady stood up and strode over to our table. I was all set for an altercation & was fully prepared to defend myself, as was DH. She then said rather brusquely that she knew what I was doing, she thought it was absolutely marvellous and wished it had been like that in her day. Then she smiled, cooed at now sleeping DS and strode off again.

That's because, y'know, she was a reasonable, rational person who knows that boobs are for babies and babies need feeding....

Ok I know this is a zombie thread but i’ll bite.

Stillme1 what if the baby needs feeding in a cafe while Mum is eating? Should she have to abandon her meal and feed somewhere more discretely?

Most feeding rooms are also baby change rooms and therefore stink of nappies. I don’t know where people get the idea that breastfeeding mums only have one child, I’m frequently out with my baby and 3 year old so no, I will not interrupt my 3 year old’s meal / playing in a park so I can go and sit in a smelly room to feed the baby. I have to think of his needs as well not just the baby’s.

Are the breast feeding mothers saying that their babies could not cope with the time it would take an adult to walk 50 metres. If I was breast feeding I would rather be among other bf mothers than out in public.
Others have their rights too. No one's rights should supercede another person's rights.
You dont know why I was a bottle feeding mum so please do not assume what you dont know

I breastfed everywhere.

I think the only gross thing is when your milk sprays out unexpectedly. I squirted milk across a train table once and it hit the back of a man's laptop. I've also sprayed my friend's legs. It's surprising how far milk can travel. So I used a cover if I had to feed within spraying distance of strangers. I wouldn't like to get someone's bodily fluids on me, there's obviously an infection risk and it smells when it dries.

Some people do find the sight of nipples or milk filled boobs offputting. I don't blame them for that, but think it's very wrong of them to comment or glare.

I made a point of bf openly in public to encourage other mums, if everyone did this it would help normalise bf. I often found I'd start bf in Costa or somewhere and other mums would sit nearby and bf too. No words were exchanged but we'd smile at each other. I think women feel more comfortable not being the only one with a boob out.

the main concourse of a shopping centre is not the right place. There are mother and baby rooms which they could use but full view is the choice made

Why on earth is it not the right place? I couldn't have cared less about whether I was in full view or hidden away. I liked to feed while I was walking around the shops, with baby in the sling. Or waiting at the bus stop, or in a cafe, or on a handy bench. I'd much rather feed in a nice cafe, with a hot chocolate and cake, than in a windowless feeding room!

Free the boob! Omg it's 2018 how are people still offended by seeing a woman's breast? It's absolutely fucking rediculous. People getting upset about a woman breastfeeding. Gahh it annoys me so much! I almost feel like walking around with my boobs out in protest of the thick idiots who want to hide women away and be ashamed of their totally natural everybody's got them nipples! Grow the fuck up, if you don't want to see (and I quote) "someone's floppy boob drop out", don't look, it's actually really rude to stare anyway.

still a lot of those mother and baby units are quite manky. Why should anyone bf there if they don't want to?

I don't hide away to eat a sandwich or to bottle feed a baby. BF shouldn't be any different.

No one's rights should supercede another person's rights.

Actually my baby's right to be breastfed anywhere he is allowed to be does supersede your right not to see a bf mother. Suck it up buttercup.

Surely it's obvious why some people find breastfeeding in public offensive?
As a nation, we have sexualised female breasts. They are seen as a symbol of a woman's sexuality.
From page 3 to 'sexy' bra's, from ample cleavages to low cut tops, they are seen as something sexual.
More than that, in our culture, breasts are predominantly used for sexual arousal, either by looking at them or touching them.
Women and men have viewed breasts, and more to the point, nipples, in a sexual manner far more often than what nature intended, as a feeding tool.
If, as a nation, we desexualised breasts and viewed them as a vessel for feeding our children, no one would bat an eyelid, but the crossover between them being a sexual part of the body and also being used to feed a baby is something many people can't separate in their minds.
This is down to years and years of sexualisation of said breasts.
I think a lot of people just don't understand how a woman can switch from being aroused in one way and then switching off immediately.
Personally, I don't care how anyone feeds their babies or children but I really don't see what's difficult to understand that some people cannot reconcile a feeding tool and a sexual tool being the same thing but feeling completely different.

If you think about cultures where breasts are viewed as predominantly feeding vessels, those women don't tend to view their own breasts in a sexual way, they often don't cover their breasts and they breastfeed for far longer than we tend to.
They are not leered at, they don't wear sexy underwear or attempt to increase the size of their breasts, they don't view their breasts as a tool with which to attract the attention of the opposite sex.
Those cultures don't tend to experience the negative experiences we do when they are feeding their babies.

Surely it's obvious why some people find breastfeeding in public offensive

Everything you've said in your post makes sense. However I think the breast feeding mother very quickly desexualises her own breasts in her mind. When they're leaking milk, veiny, chewed they're as far from sexy as it's possible to be. For context, while I'm still bf my breasts are off limits when I'm having sex.

So it can be hard to tune back into the 'breasts are sexy' mindset, even though you know that to be true of society at large.

LaurieMarlow, I totally agree with everything you have said.
However, I also understand that men and women who have not breastfed may not understand this.
I'd like to see many more people breastfeeding in public, and I think the public being educated on how it's not remotely sexy for the mother obviously needs to be done.

Women and men have viewed breasts, and more to the point, nipples, in a sexual manner far more often than what nature intended, as a feeding tool.

If nature intended breasts to be seen solely as a feeding tool, human females would not have permanent breasts. Like other mammals they would be present only during pregnancy and lactation.

It's such a strange hot-button topic in some ways. My very religious, "buttoned-up" inlaws (literally the most repressed people on the planet) didn't bat an eye when my SIL (their dd) openly breastfed, yet in every other area of life they judge everyone extremely harshly in strict moral terms. Then there's me (liberal, very pro-breastfeeding) who supports it in every case but then had to recently admit to myself that yes I probably would feel a bit uncomfortable (at first at least) to have a colleague suddenly start openly breastfeeding in front of me at the office (based on reading a recent thread), so clearly I'm not free of bias either. It's not for me to judge but perhaps admitting my own discomfort in some cases can help me understand that for some people it really is uncomfortable for them to see. Whatever people's reaction is however, please keep on breastfeeding, it's not your problem it's theirs!