Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

What's so offensive about breast feeding in public?

191 replies

TylerHopkins · 16/08/2013 18:50

So, I'm watching the evening news with the updates on the breast feeding in the swimming pool story and Angela Epstein appears saying 'people should be considerate of breast feeding mothers however these mothers need to be aware that some people might find what they're doing as offensive'

Another viewer text in to say BFing in public is obscene.

AIBU to ask anyone out there that shares these views to please explain to me why it's offensive? Who are these offended people? Please don't be afraid of coming forward and admitting it if you feel like this. I need an offended person to explain this to me because I really can't get my head around it.

OP posts:
mrsminiverscharlady · 16/08/2013 19:36

BF actually in the pool is unreasonable though, isn't it?

But why?! It wouldn't be OK to eat a cheese sandwich in the pool because you might drop it in and it would be messy and need to be fished out. The same just cannot be said for breast milk (or formula actually). Plus adults and older children can wait to eat, whereas babies can't. And breastfeeding isn't just about food, it's about nurture and comfort. Why's it any difficult to giving a baby a cuddle in a swimming pool?

Growlithe · 16/08/2013 19:37

But OP, I would see this particular activity as being incompatible with feeding a baby in a comfortable way for the baby.

MrsBW · 16/08/2013 19:37

Sure TylerHopkins - I get that. But again if a weaned baby were being fed, it wouldn't be in a swimming pool. The parent would get out to feed them.

I'm failing to see the difference...

Nothing to do with offence - everything to do with location.

PresidentServalan · 16/08/2013 19:37

It's interesting that it can be seen as abuse to talk someone out of it - my friends DM was treated like dirt when she had her DD by the nurses in the maternity unit because she chose not to BF - that sounds just as bad!

MrsBW · 16/08/2013 19:38

OK mrsminiverscharlady - let's make it a drink of juice because a child is thirsty.

Again - not something you'd expect to see a child drinking while in a swimming pool...

quoteunquote · 16/08/2013 19:39

If you put a vibe out that then causes a mother to delay or not feed a baby, that is hurting the baby.

I did get a lot of free rail travel out of it, and I got them to reeducate the rail staff.

My reaction is that a baby is been abused and I do go batshit.

a friend of a friend a few years ago had a photo of her doing a naked yoga headstand, and her baby crawled over and latched on, he husband took a photo, side shot, and when it was shared they got a huge amount of abuse,

not here is an amazing beautiful woman and an opportunist cute baby.

A lot of people really hate that breasts are for babies and hate any reminder of that, they are warped people and need to be kept away from breast feeding women, because they do have the effect of intimidation.

Original poster
TylerHopkins · 16/08/2013 19:39

Having never weaned a baby I have to admit my ignorance on that subject MrsBW Smile

OP posts:
KissMeHardy · 16/08/2013 19:41

a friend of a friend a few years ago had a photo of her doing a naked yoga headstand, and her baby crawled over and latched on, he husband took a photo, side shot, and when it was shared they got a huge amount of abuse,

Strange, that was in the papers again today/yesterday !!

MrsBW · 16/08/2013 19:42

And I've never breastfed one TylerHopkins so we can be ignorant together. Grin

As I said - genuine question. I have no problem with breast feeding women... anywhere.

But a swimming pool just seems like an odd choice to me...

MrsBW · 16/08/2013 19:42

a friend of a friend a few years ago had a photo of her doing a naked yoga headstand, and her baby crawled over and latched on, he husband took a photo, side shot, and when it was shared they got a huge amount of abuse

I thought that photo was beautiful!

KissMeHardy · 16/08/2013 19:44

It's the attitude though that really gets up people's noses. It's the "I'm breasfeeding so I am untouchable and I will do it whenever and wherever I want and you do not have the right to say anything to me at all." I Am Untouchable is the mantra, said with indignation or smuggy me !

PresidentServalan · 16/08/2013 19:45

Yes but quote I am talking about someone walking past a bf mother - the thought may go through their head that it is gross but unless they are around the woman for a while, how is she going to be affected? I understand your point but it seems like you are putting everyone who doesn't think bf is the most wonderful thing in the world into the category of baby abuser.

CrayolaLola · 16/08/2013 19:46

It's nothing offensive, just one of those intimate 'need to do' things that should be carried out discreetly for the sake of you, your baby and everyone else around you. I breastfed both my DS's for a year and sometimes in the most interesting of places but very unobtrusively and no blushes for anyone. I think it's all in your attitude as a mother: me and my two sisters all bf our babies but my Dad was squeamish with the other two and not me co half the time he didn't even realise I was 'hooked up'. He was always conscious around my sisters I think because they were conscious too.

PresidentServalan · 16/08/2013 19:46

That pic sounds like the one I linked to upthread - it had to be pixelated eventually as so many people kicked off

mrsminiverscharlady · 16/08/2013 19:49

Nope, still not getting your point.

A child drinking a cup of juice is almost certainly old enough to wait until out of the pool for it. A baby who wants/needs a feed of milk shouldn't have to wait until out of the pool. Different rules apply to babies.

Plus the potential for contamination with a cup of juice is far higher - one cup would probably be fine but if everybody was allowed to bring in drinks then you might have an issue with the water being full of cups of tea etc if they got spilled. Boobs don't generally empty their contents, nor do they get dropped or knocked over.

And, as I said before, feeding a baby is more than transferring nutrients, it's about closeness, reassurance and comfort.

Irishmammybread · 16/08/2013 19:50

I breast fed my three,was happy to feed discretely in public in all sorts of places,shops,waiting rooms,restaurants,cinema,parks,trains,planes etc, but I wouldn't consider a swimming pool an appropriate place to feed.
It's a busy area,lots of children and other swimmers milling around putting the little one at some risk of being splashed/dislodged/disturbed while trying to feed.
Feeding in the pool presumably meant the woman in question had lowered the top of her swim suit and was in effect topless,very different to lifting up your top or opening a shirt , if it was me I would feel that was inappropriate exposure in a kid's pool.

As Bakingtins pointed out ,you wouldn't expect someone to feed their baby a bottle of formula in the pool either.
The whole thing just seems unnecessary and the issue really isn't one of being antibreastfeeding in public per se but just using common sense.

pussycatwillum · 16/08/2013 19:50

I love seeing babies being breastfed. We had a lady who regularly fed her baby at church and I don't think anyone objected. All the usual things apply, notably that the head obscures the breast anyway and if the mother is wearing a jumper very little can be seen.
My thought was though that the baby pool where I live actually smells of wee and unless the mother had not been in the pool I would be worried about the baby sucking on who knows what.

KissMeHardy · 16/08/2013 19:51

But if you are in the pool surely you are already carrying out the "closeness, reassurance and comfort". Doesn't need the feeding as well.

exbrummie · 16/08/2013 19:58

I think I remember reading that the baby was 17 months.so not a tiny baby who couldn't wait and had to be fed straight away.
I don't think I would have bf in the swimming pool (and I fed just about everywhere else) can't really explain why.
The pool probably has a "no eating and drinking in the pool" rule so surely that includes breastfeeding.

pianodoodle · 16/08/2013 19:58

your baby might want them in its face but not everybody does

How can they be in the baby's face and in everyone else's at the same time?

strawberrypie · 16/08/2013 19:59

To the people asking why would you feed a baby in a swimming pool, this is why-

Your very small baby needs feeding very frequently and not on a schedule but on demand.

You have decided to take your very small baby to the swimming pool for an activity you both enjoy and get to meet other mums

You realise halfway through your parent and baby class that he/she is really hungry and will start to cry loudly and persistently if the food that is centimetres from his/her face is not offered up immediately (and we all know swimming gives you an appetite!)

You could get out of the pool but you and baby would get quite cold unless you got showered and wrapped in towels first and you would probably miss most of the class you had made the mammoth effort to get there for.

So you cradle your baby in one arm, feeding with your tankini top lifted up slightly (at one side turned away disctretely if you wish or not) whilst pouring cupped handfuls of water over his/her body to keep them warm. Job done you join in again with Old MacDonald had a pond.

KissMeHardy · 16/08/2013 20:00

Funny, really funny piano - Ho Hum Hmm

quoteunquote · 16/08/2013 20:01

I grew up in a part of Asia where it was just considered a baby feeding, it would never cross anyone minds to think negatively about it,

Here we have a negative culture towards breast feeding, it is the adults problem been made into the baby's problem.

You have to be pretty screwed up to have got to a place where you find a baby being fed naturally disgusting.

That pic sounds like the one I linked to upthread Blush oh wowGrin small world, missed that.

It is like the culture of bad driving, you don't have to be the one driving at 90mph in the fast lane, but when you drive at 80mph, you make the 90mph asshole feel he is not doing very much wrong.

If you find a baby being breast fed gross, get help you need it, there is lots of help available out there just ask.

strawberrypie · 16/08/2013 20:09

The age of the baby is irrelevant.

YokoUhOh · 16/08/2013 20:10

My MIL tried to cover me up with a blanket IN MY OWN LIVING ROOM once when I was feeding DS and she wonders why I don't want to visit her house

Someone upthread had this spot on: there is a particular kind of prudishness about breastfeeding amongst the more fogeyish members of society, which accounts for many of the dirty looks I get when out and about.