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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

TidyDancer's bridezilla thread part 4

668 replies

TidyDancer · 16/08/2013 06:58

Ready for later! :)

OP posts:
FruOla · 27/08/2013 10:29

"but it can feel like the other friends are "rejecting" you by attending this wedding."

Good point, but maybe most of them didn't know that Tidy had been Uninvited and were surprised not to see her there?

Bahhhhhumbug · 27/08/2013 11:24

Yes very likely a few raised eyebrows at the uninvitees at that wedding what l would give to know just one of their names and read their and their friends facebook comments .

It is interesting how spineless people can be about this stuff though. Once worked in a hospital and a manager invited a whole section to her silver wedding party except one girl. No particular reason just she was a bit of a loner and probably wouldn't have accepted anyhow and she wasn't really her kind of person socially - and yes this was a manager Hmm.

Everybody to a man on the section was suitably aghast and a few even tackled the manager about the wisdom of the marginalisation of it etc. She wouldn't reconsider so we almost all said we would boycott it in protest and in support of this poor girl as we thought it was very bad form.

Out of twenty people guess how many overcame their moral dilemma enough to attend this do. Seventeen of them. I am proud to say I was one of them. The rest just couldn't resist and missing out on the party and the gossip and so on , yet had all but a couple been adamant they wouldn't attend.

Bahhhhhumbug · 27/08/2013 11:26

sorry I was one of the three that didn't attend Blush not one of the seventeen 'traitors'.

farrowandbawl · 27/08/2013 11:30

Bahh - I would have loved you for that. In fact, I actually do a little bit. Seeing people stick to their morals is rare, even more so when it's in support of someone else.

Bahhhhhumbug · 27/08/2013 11:36

Ahh thank you Smile . I love you too a little bit for saying that Blush
Shall we start a Mutual Appreciation Society?

But seriously it is amazing how the pack mentality and being in with the crowd for so many people overrides doing the right thing.

PedantMarina · 27/08/2013 14:02

Oh, absolutely FruOla (and thanks and hugs to Bahhh), so I'm dying to hear more about the attendees and their reactions.

Hope all's well, Tidy.

FruOla · 27/08/2013 15:33

I have a friend; she's in her 70s, so at least a generation or two older than I am. She once told me, some years ago, that she realised she'd put her foot in it once when talking about some 'do' (wedding/significant party/whatever) to a mutual friend who she thought would have been invited to the same do.

Apparently her MutualFriend dryly replied "NFC" (Not Fucking Carded)!

OlderFriend said to me "Fru, never assume that all your mutual friends will be invited to the same do. It was hurtful to my MutualFriend to discover that she'd been excluded - and I was a fool to mention it to her. I'll never to that again".

I'm guessing that Tidy has only talked about this to her Local Uninvited Friend and HunFriend (similarly uninvited). But possibly the remainder of the friends - who may not be in regular contact with Tidy anyway - had no idea of the shit that fell on Tidy's shoulders over the last few weeks?

buildingmycorestrength · 27/08/2013 16:17

I am definitely pinching 'NFC'. And will always say it drily. Thanks

Beastofburden · 27/08/2013 18:03

My friends say "NFI" and it also applies to things you weren't asked to do, like concerts where you weren't asked to sing, if you do music.

FruOla · 27/08/2013 18:42

You are so right, beastofburden.

It's either 'NFI' or 'NFC' - depending upon the formality of the event Sad.

Original poster
TidyDancer · 28/08/2013 17:28

Hello all. :)

Bahhhhhumbug - well done for standing your ground there. Definitely the right thing to do! And what a shit manager you had!

A couple of extra photos have appeared on Facebook, doesn't look like there was anything special for the decorations, so maybe she really didn't get anyone to do it!

Fru - no I haven't really talked in general with people about all this. My local upset friend and hunfriend are the only uninviteds I was ever sure of. I'm sure more will show themselves in time, this is the kind of thing that gets talked about long after the event!

Thanks all once again, you're ace!

OP posts:
thistlelicker · 28/08/2013 19:10

Gluey has let the side down!!!

FruOla · 28/08/2013 19:11

That's what I thought, Tidy. That most, if not all, of your friends would have had no idea about all of this Sad

RenterNomad · 28/08/2013 19:21

Of course she didn't get anyone to do it, as she is an Alienating Arse and the idea was pretty crap anyway! Grin

DameDeepRedBetty · 29/08/2013 22:34

a mixture of bump and placemark just to check if anything else has cropped up on FB?

Mimishimi · 31/08/2013 01:29

I found this on youandyourwedding. Unfortunately the dates do not correspond but it's eerily similar to Gluezilla's 'dilemma'.

www.youandyourwedding.co.uk/forum/general-chat/looking-for-a-local-west-sussex-bride-to-be-or-married-to-help-me-on-my-day/394008.html

^So my wedding coordinator is no longer coordinating :/

This is a bit weird but I feel like I have gotten to know a lot of you in a way, so I felt this was worth a shot.

The things I need doing on the day are not difficult, I don't really need a trained person.. I just need a sober person. I could divide up the tasks between bridesmaids and family easily enough but there a couple things later on in the day and I want people to be able to drink and relax and not have to concentrate on what they need to do all day.

So I am wondering if anyone would fancy coming to my wedding? It is soon - 31st August. We will set most of the venue up on the Friday. Saturday morning it's a case if putting out the things outside we couldn't do Friday - garden games, bunting, lemonade dispensers, basket of snacks, props. Chairs post ceremony theres a few hands already to help move around tables but another pair would speed this along. We'd then need you to help the caterers gather guests into the barn to be seated when food is ready. There's a couple of things after speeches - helping caterers get timing right bringing out the surprise grooms cake, and fetching our prize hamper after silly foam plane competition. Once a few of the tables are removed for dance floor later on, I need the flip flop basket brought out, and a little later the sparklers need putting outside with the blackboard and bucket to extinguish. Then that's it, from around 7 you'd be free to bring your h2b/husband along if you fancied it, eat some hog roast and have a drink/dance.

We would also pay a small fee for your time and be very grateful any takers?^

pigletmania · 31/08/2013 08:42

bye bye gluey, ruining a very long friendship because of your stupidity, and not even having the courtesy of making things right. your best rid Tidy, she does not give a stuff about you and this shows it!

Original poster
TidyDancer · 31/08/2013 15:44

Hello again. :)

Can now confirm that there were no special decorations at all, so I think we can safely say she didn't get anyone to do the decorating in my absence. I've had a text from a friend asking why I wasn't there because apparently gluezilla was very cagey when asked. Grin

OP posts:
SoupDragon · 31/08/2013 15:46

[snigger]

"I wasn't invited and I saved the date and everything. Well, I was invited, but only to decorate the venue."

Original poster
TidyDancer · 31/08/2013 15:58

Apparently gluezilla said it was all a misunderstanding but wouldn't go any further!

OP posts:
Ezio · 31/08/2013 16:07

Whats to misunderstand, you werent invited, shes a cheeky bitch.

Pretty clear to me!

diaimchlo · 31/08/2013 16:11

Hi Tidy

First of all thankyou for the most entertaining nearly 4 threads I have read on MN. You have proved yourself to be a star and I applaud you.

Gluezilla obviously knows she is in the wrong and is scared what people will say if she tells them. It seems that it has affected her day if she was cagey but then again seeing she is Gluezilla mud will stick.

IDontDoIroning · 31/08/2013 16:20

Tidy I hope you were able to shed some light on the misunderstanding.?

Ie you misunderstood that the save the date card wasn't for the wedding but just to decorate the venue so you declined.

ClaraOswald · 31/08/2013 16:28

I do hope you have explained the situation fully to those asking the question?

HorryIsUpduffed · 31/08/2013 16:34

I believe the phrase NFI is apt here.

"NFI - that is, I got a Save The Date but not an actual invitation. Was it good fun?"

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