Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

...if think this woman should spend more time with her children!

159 replies

mynameismskane · 15/08/2013 13:40

www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2393742/No-job--time-nanny-children-But-dont-try-telling-Alex-shes-bad-mum.html

This woman thinks women don't like the fact she has full time help and a nanny even though she doesn't work... I would say it is more to do with the fact she doesn't spend a lot of time with her children in the week even though she doesn't work! She doesn't do a lot with them if the nanny is there five days a week until 6pm does she?!

OP posts:
Pagwatch · 15/08/2013 17:29

JenniBoo

I think that's a pretty depressing view of parenthood tbh

The fact that this woman has an unusual life is the reason she is inthe paper. Women's choices are an easy target as some people try to validate their own choices by criticising those that chose differently.
But the truth, for me, in real life, is that mostly people have children they love dearly and they make the bet choices they can for their family.

Turning judging other women - and it always is women - into a past time just makes most of us miserable.

There are shit examples of parenting but deciding who is a good loving parent on the basis of a snap shot is rarely going to be accurate.

BlingBang · 15/08/2013 17:50

i had a live in maid when the kids were little. no housework and help with the kids. I know many wer talking about it behond my back - meh.

pommedechocolat · 15/08/2013 17:52

JenniBoo - Fathers dont have to 'step up' for their kids?

kungfupannda · 15/08/2013 18:08

If that's what she wants, and her husband is willing to support it, then I think it's entirely up to them, and no one else. It doesn't sound as though she never bothers with her children at all - she's with them as much, if not more than many full-time working parents. And that's not a pop at working mothers - I am one!

However, since she's chosen to broadcast her thoughts and feelings on the subject, and is presumably content for people to give their opinions, I personally don't think I'd have much time for her, because it doesn't seem like she actually does much with all that time that the nanny frees up for her. It just seems like a massive waste.

If I knew someone with a full-time nanny and plenty of money, I wouldn't judge them if they were doing interesting things with their time - hobbies or sport or renovating the house or anything interesting - I'd just be hugely envious! But if they were just frittering the time away and having nothing to show for it but nice hair and handbags, then yes, I'd probably judge - but I'd judge them as a bit lazy and lacking in imagination, rather than as a bad parent.

quesadilla · 15/08/2013 18:31

kungfupanda spot on

pianodoodle · 15/08/2013 18:37

YABU

She should spend less time with them not more.

She's obviously realised she's rather a knob and is doing the right thing in not exposing her children to it.

Katydid02 · 15/08/2013 18:39

We don't know anything about her children though, plenty of children are lovely in public but are hard work at home - we just don't know it. Cut her a bit of slack (except the appearing in the DM!) as you have no idea what she has to deal with at home.

SuckAtRelationships · 15/08/2013 18:48

She has a nanny during the hours that many are out working anyway.. She probably gets to spend more time with her kids that many working mothers/fathers whilst enjoying herself at the same time. I get the appeal for sure!

Pinkpinot · 15/08/2013 18:48

Oh fgs
She's around a lot more than a working mother so saying she's not mummy is just stupid
It would be very nice to have someone on hand for childcare 9-5
And the 'unbleached organic cotton' bit was her description of the nanny, obviously a bit tongue in cheek

Can you people not see what the Daily Mail do??!!

appletarts · 15/08/2013 18:52

Am i the only one who thinks it's odd that her nanny looks just like her but without make-up. I think she's dreadful, an useless mother. Judgey? Yes very much so.

Arisbottle · 15/08/2013 19:02

I have a "mothers help" now because I work. I am pregnant with number five and will certainly be keeping her on when I am on maternity leave. I really don't think my children care who changes their nappy or winds them.

Arisbottle · 15/08/2013 19:02

Why is she a useless mother?

Arisbottle · 15/08/2013 19:03

She sees much more of her children that I do, if she is useless I must b positively harmful.

Groovee · 15/08/2013 19:03

She must be very insecure if she thinks that everyone is jealous of her.

We don't know if she's come in to a coffee shop and been all smug about how gorgeous she looks and how untired she is!

Loopytiles · 15/08/2013 19:04

Standard Daily Mail misogynist bollocks.

currentbuns · 15/08/2013 19:05

Another example of professional trolling in the Mail by yet another shameless woman prepared to subject herself (and her children) to any amount ritual humiliation in exchange for a few thousand pounds.
Oddly, I think the children resemble the nanny more, they look nothing like their mother.
I have no particular opinion on her otherwise, she certainly isn't the sort of person I could ever imagine myself envying, but I don't think she's doing anything wrong - on the contrary, I suspect the children are much better off in the nanny's care.

Arisbottle · 15/08/2013 19:08

Do you really get a few thousand pounds?

I am sure the DM could find an a reason to make most people hate me? I may offer my services

appletarts · 15/08/2013 19:13

Oh because she barely fulfils any of the functions of a mother, oh yes those NHS calls in the night, whata girl! Twat.

mimitwo · 15/08/2013 19:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Arisbottle · 15/08/2013 19:16

What functions of a mother is she not fulfilling?

Appletarts as a full time working mother who does a minimum of 12 hours a day am I also not a functioning mother, because a suspect the mother in this article does more than me.

cleoowen · 15/08/2013 19:17

Poor children, I bet they will feel quite confused. I think it's bad to have a nanny when you don't work. My sisters friend does and I wonder what she does all day.

pommedechocolat · 15/08/2013 19:23

mimitwo - dont the people (myself included) who find being a sahm hard tend to, umm, work?!

mimitwo · 15/08/2013 19:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JenniBoo · 15/08/2013 19:25

hmm... yeah it is a bit depressing Pagwatch but I think it might still be the case. :(

Pommedechocolat yeah - fathers have to step up too - but fathers are expected to work and provide - so the DM equivalent would be a Dad who has loads of kids but who sits at home on his bum, not bothering to look for work :(

Wickedgirl · 15/08/2013 19:27

I have been on the other side of this as a nanny to a family with a stay at home mum. Some of these families used me very part time to get everything else organised or to be able to go to the dentists or doctors without the children in tow. They were lovely to work for but they also recognised that as a professional nanny, I was well respected and paid very well.

Swipe left for the next trending thread