...if think this woman should spend more time with her children!

[mynameismskane]

www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2393742/No-job--time-nanny-children-But-dont-try-telling-Alex-shes-bad-mum.html

This woman thinks women don't like the fact she has full time help and a nanny even though she doesn't work... I would say it is more to do with the fact she doesn't spend a lot of time with her children in the week even though she doesn't work! She doesn't do a lot with them if the nanny is there five days a week until 6pm does she?!

I agree she's a bit of a prat but if she went to work full time and the nanny looked after the children she's probably get a pack on the back for working hard.

Every family makes choices re their children and don't think we should judge.

IamFluffy quite. People forget that until about the fifties most middle class parents did this as a matter of course.

I wouldn't do it either even if I could afford it -- certainly not full time and I don't think its the greatest option for child-rearing but I don't think its terrible either. Plenty of people have survived it.

I would have more help if I could afford it, I really think this is fair enough and if it works for her family then great. I would love a nap in the day!! I would have loved someone to cook for me when I had a newborn.

However the bits about a personal manicurist etc and the fact it is in the mail are a bit hmmm. Have a full time nanny sure just don't publish an article in the paper about it!

She's contributing to the economy - not claiming benefits, paying someone else's wage and providing employment, and and shelling out cash to boost sales of gym memberships, lunches, beauty products and clothing.

From the economy's point of view, she's a star.

She probably spends more time with her kids than her husband does. Why isn't there a DM article and thread about his parenting choices?

Bloody hell, I am envious of her...if I had the money then I would have welcomed a Nanny when my DS was smaller. Working myself or not.

I'm the first to admit I'm pretty lazy, I don't do huge amounts of housework, only the bare minimum to get by, and I spend too much time on my everspreading arse - but I couldn't do what this woman has done. I couldn't pay someone else to look after my children just so I could go shopping by myself, meet friends (especially ones who have brought their own children along!) by myself, have a visiting manicure/hairdresser etc. etc.

OTOH I would LOVE to have a "mother's help" who could help me out with the household chores... so I'm probably a hypocrite and just as bad as she is, I just prefer childcare to the other chores.

I actually feel sorry for the nanny. Her wages are low and her working conditions suck. Can you imagine having this mum hanging around in the background while you try and get on with your job? Sometimes helicoptering, sometimes completely uninvolved. She ispart way between a nanny and a mothers help which why I guess she isn't being paid a huge amount.

[Awaits follow up piece from nanny following nervous breakdown]

Meh its what works for them,'I always have said if I could afford home help I would have it, I would rather have a cleaner and someone to do some cooking as I actually enjoy looking after ,y children most of the time yesterday I would happily have sent them to bortsall

Anyway we have five but if I could afford a bigger house and a cleaner and maybe a mothers help type person hell yes I would have one adn I would probably have a another baby or two as well.

quesadilla - Its not though is it. Its about role modelling. My children know I leave them at nursery/pre-school/with a nanny because I am going out to work like Daddy. They dont see me leaving them with a nanny so I can have shiny nails and bouncy hair. My dd1 will play at 'working' not at 'sitting around on my arse all day'.

prissy - uh, no. She is not contributing anything to the economy. Her husband is.

will play in the does play not 'may in the future' btw!

in the *sense of

ARGH

While i wouldn't hire a nanny, if I could afford it I would definitely get a cleaner, maybe a cook too. And maybe 1day per week nanny, so I could nap!

Her choices wouldn't be for me, but she's not harming anyone.

Why oh why do we always have to pit women against other women for the choices we make? When was the last time you saw an article by a well groomed, wealthy man smugly moaning that no-one likes him because he's so handsome and rich?

exactly

The most shocking thing is that she is only paying the nanny £18000! That's really low wages, even outside of London - I wouldn't be bragging about paying someone barely more than minimum wage to look after my children.

Other than that, don't see the problem with paying for childcare if you can afford it.

A cook? No way!

We have a game - 'what job would you invent for your maid?'. We have an awful lot of Filippoino maids and nannies around here and they seem to do a lot of 'busy work'. One neighbour has their letterbox and door knob polished every day. Another has their car cleaned every evening. I think I'd have my pictures rehung each day, and the curtains dusted.

If I were very rich, the only thing I would do is get someone to help me blitz the house a couple of times a year and laundry. I loathe laundry.

I don't care about her domestic arrangements, but I could potentially tell her why her "friends" avoid her:

"Mum died aged just 59. [..] I was utterly bereft. How was I going to cope with a toddler and newborn without Mum?"

New meaning to "self-obsessed"!

JenniBoo - Well, but her husband isnt swanning around all day he is working to pay the nanny pittance and fund her grooming habits.

There was a survey about regrets in life done a while back, one thing that came up time and time again was that people wished they had spent more time with their children, and had a cheaper lifestyle and cheaper holidays rather than working so much to pay for it all, when it really wasn't necessary.

She may well have these regrets, especially as she has the choice to spend time with them, rather than work, and still can afford the luxuries in life.

I wouldn't, 'hand on heart' as she suggests 'choose this path if it was open to me'.

I'd choose a cleaner and a gardener instead.

I would 100% employ a full time housekeeper if I had a spare £30k I'm happy to do most of the nice parenting bits while someone else does the housework, laundry and some of the cooking, but it would also be great to have a housekeeper to watch the children now and then so I could nap or go shopping.

If that is £18k net including paid hols then she is netting £1500 a month which is £24k a year gross salary. Not minimum wage.

Nannies normally talk in net.

If she works 8-6, and gets £18, that's not really very much is it? There won't be any pension, bonus, health care, benefits... Per hour, is that even minimum wage?

And I still don't 'get' why this has been published.

Yep I agree maja a housekeeper would be great, someone to do some cleaning., cooking, general tidying etc, just an extra pair of hands, it would be great.

The worst part for me was when she said that having the nanny meant that her husband was therefore able to pop off and play golf.

God forbid that he should want to spend time with his family!

Net still isn't much...