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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to wonder why we were not invited?

471 replies

cantsleep · 14/08/2013 19:52

To dh birthday meal/party?

MIL arranged a meal/cake/party at a local pub for dh. She went to a lot of trouble apparently making sure dh nieces and nephews were invited but somehow forgot to invite me or dcs despite the fact we talk regularly and I had only told her the day before what cake dcs had chosen for dh?

As far as I know I have not offended her so am surprised I was not told about it.

Dh didn't go and as a result MIL is not speaking to him.

OP posts:
Crumbledwalnuts · 14/08/2013 21:37

Surprise party for your husband including all the family except his children and you?

That's awful. Good on your husband.

ReindeerBollocks · 14/08/2013 21:37

I do the quiet thing when stressed/upset. I don't like articulating how I feel.

I think in this situation DH was trying to protect you. Some may think its misguided, personally I think he was trying to do the right thing by you, not realising that leaving you in the dark was masking how much of a cow MIL really is.

Have you and your DH spoken about dealing with MIL going forward?

I can't believe she would do this to her own grandchildren too. Bitch.

ExitPursuedByABear · 14/08/2013 21:38

Your poor DH. He must feel terrible.

ExitPursuedByABear · 14/08/2013 21:38

X posts

ViviPru · 14/08/2013 21:38

cantsleep, has all this incident come as a massive shock out of the blue to you both or is it more "well we knew she was capable of some crazy behaviour but this takes the biscuit"??

sweetestcup · 14/08/2013 21:39

I have 3 sons and can't imagine EVER saying anything like this about their partners - regardless of whether I liked them or not I would respect their choices, and I'm sure when they do eventually settle down they will pick fab women that I will welcome into the family....your MIL on the other hand sadly will only up alienating her son. To say what she did re your health is unforgivable.

Mia4 · 14/08/2013 21:39

OP you MIL sounds toxic to you and your kids and your DH, I'd definitely write down how you feel (even if you don't send) and cut ties for yourself. What does your DH want to do?

JugglingFromHereToThere · 14/08/2013 21:39

Blimey country I missed the latest updates where she was so horrible about your recent ill-health. That's pretty unforgivable, even for me - or you I'm guessing ? I'm so sorry she's been so mean to you Sad
What an idiot she has been.
I'd definitely be seeing less of her from now on, though personally I probably wouldn't do anything that dramatic.
So shocking that she's not thinking about her relationship with her DGC's Sad - as well as your feelings too.
And so foolish of her to think she can turn back time in her relationship with her DS (your DP)

longjane · 14/08/2013 21:40

I would add in the whole of dh family in the no contact because remember they were all in on secret.

ExitPursuedByABear · 14/08/2013 21:40

I am

IAmNotAMindReader · 14/08/2013 21:40

So she wished you dead.
Referred to you and your DH's children as that lot.
Wishes he'd leave you.

The woman is a total bitch do not put yourself, DH or your kids through this any longer.
No need for big scenes just never contact her again and decline any invites she has had a hand in making the guest list for.

sittinginthesun · 14/08/2013 21:42

Your DH sounds lovely. This is not his fault, in any way. Nothing he could do - time to step back, disengage and give your DH a hug.

GwendolineMaryLacey · 14/08/2013 21:43

F u c k I n g h e l l .... Shock Just, fuck...what a mad, nasty, spiteful bitch Shock

tillyo · 14/08/2013 21:43

Are you sure we don't have the sane Mil? I totally understand how you feel. Some mum's just find it hard to let go of their sons. You was a lot calmer then I would've been x

DontmindifIdo · 14/08/2013 21:43

LongJane - to be fair to the rest of them, we don't know if MIL told them that OP and her DCs weren't being invited. If my MIL was organising a surprise party for BIL, I would assume his wife and DD would be also invited, it wouldn't occur to me to check.

kali110 · 14/08/2013 21:44

I feel sorry for your dp too op. I'm still amazed she said that.

DuelingFanjo · 14/08/2013 21:44

Wow. Do you think she may be ill?

FixItUpChappie · 14/08/2013 21:46

Still, you must be quite hurt to have someone say such things to you OP. Sorry your MIL is so utterly bonkers.

Squitten · 14/08/2013 21:46

I'm speechless at all that! I don't know if your MIL is suffering from some kind of mental breakdown or just one of the vilest people on the planet.

I think you have to withdraw from that now OP. There's no way on earth I would ever set eyes on her ever again. Good on your DH for sticking up for you. I hope he can find the courage to cut her out of his life so he can be happy too.

countrymummy13 · 14/08/2013 21:47

jugglingfromheretothere that's very nice of you but I'm not the OP, that's cantsleep

OP sounds like a much nicer, calmer and more rational woman than I am.

KeatsiePie · 14/08/2013 21:47

CSI thanks for the link!

She's awful.

EasterHoliday · 14/08/2013 21:48

you poor, poor thing. What a grade A bitch. I'd move to the other end of the country without providin ga forwarding address.

Liara · 14/08/2013 21:48

Go give your dh a really big hug. He is in a horrible situation, and doing right by you. Support him as best you can, and write off the bitch (easier for you than for him).

lovestogarden · 14/08/2013 21:48

Make sure everyone knows the whole story. She will make out that she is the poor victim here. I'd keep the hell away from her. Stuff her.

impatienttobemummy · 14/08/2013 21:49

How awful, what a horrible woman ur poor DH too. This makes me want to hug my Minlaw now!

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