to wonder why we were not invited?

[cantsleep]

To dh birthday meal/party?

MIL arranged a meal/cake/party at a local pub for dh. She went to a lot of trouble apparently making sure dh nieces and nephews were invited but somehow forgot to invite me or dcs despite the fact we talk regularly and I had only told her the day before what cake dcs had chosen for dh?

As far as I know I have not offended her so am surprised I was not told about it.

Dh didn't go and as a result MIL is not speaking to him.

Your MIL sounds like my SIL. H and I have recently separated and she is all over him and acts like he's the second coming or something. Very smug that she "has him back" and at one point she told him (in an email to him that he then showed me as he was so angry) "there's more to life than your wife and children." Um, ok. Get a fucking life, whacko!

She basically said she wished you'd died? Wtf?!

Wow....just....wow

so she's effectively wished you dead?!

What a vile, wicked woman. I would cut her dead from now on OP.

OMG, she actually wished you dead to get more attention from her married adult ds? :O

OMG!! FUCKING BITCH!!!

Utterly utterly insane!

cantsleep do you at least feel better for knowing now?

Wow. My gut reaction would be to write her a letter telling her that if she feels her relationship with DH is failing, perhaps the contributing factor here is her, not the 2 different DW/DP!!

However, I think the sensible thing to do is take a deep breath. Have a drink. And leave her to stew in her own miserable ridiculousness.

DO NOT make any further moves to see or connect with her. Leave DH to make his own arrangements / birthday card buying etc. See where that gets her!!

Sending big hug x

She is completely deranged then. I feel so sorry for you having to deal with this.

Oh OP, I always try and appreciate the situation from all sides when it comes to MiL/DiL issues but in this case I'm just overwhelmed with empathy for you. You come across as so measured and reasonable, this os blatantly all about HER insecurities and imbalances and I don't think there's anything you possibly could have done which should warrant such despicable behaviour from her, she's just a very sad and misguided woman.

You're acting with real dignity, you're right not to pursue her on this, and to maintain a united front with your DH. All the very best for you, I hope you can find some peace with it all.

Oh my goodness. Words fail me. It was once put to me that healthy mil befriend their DIL and have rspectful boundaries to maintain a strong relationship with their adult son, whilst unhealthy MIls compare almost seen their young handsome son as their husband reincarnate and look round at the old balding grumpy husband they are left with and get in a mad competition with their DIL. Your mil has lost the plot.

From your post after you phoned it sounds to put things very simplistically that MIL and her mother miss the times with their boys as single lads, and the family dynamics of that time (lots of attention on them ?)

A shame they can't be more mature, welcome their DIL's into the family, and be happy for their sons/ grandsons to now have families of their own, and grandchildren/ great-grandchildren to love and enjoy too ?

Sounds like you have a generally good relationship with your MIL but that she's a very difficult character ?

Your MIL is a bitch. Never see or speak to her again. What kind of person wishes ill health on anyone, let alone someone their son loves and has chosen to spend their life with. Cow.

For once there is no grey area, no 'two sides to every story' your mil is evil,
You did nothing to deserve this .
You are not at fault.
Your mil will regret this .
You sound lovely btw,very calm.please don't let this set you back health wise .

She sounds mental. You need to cut her off, all of you. What a loon.

14 years and she thinks he's different?! No shit!

I've got to go and get a drink now. I'm really stressed.

I stand corrected!

I think you've had a lucky escape now she's shown her true colours

I hope none of you ever have anything to do with her again especially your DH

Well now thinking about it again, I'd just decide not to speak to her ever again and make it clear to DH while it's his choice if he sees his mum, you don't think it's fair on the DCs to be round her if she's likely to say nasty things about their mum in front of them.

No calls, texts, anything. If you see her calling, don't answer.

Me too, countrymummy! This thread has evoked a real physical response in me. God only knows how the OP must be feeling

country me too! I'm genuinely angry on op's behalf! Blood boiling! Cut her off OP, she'll soon learn.

Bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch! I am so cross for you! You poor thing! She has single-handedly made virtually every mumsnetter appreciate their mother-in-laws!

She has fucked up big time, as what she has said is unforgivable and unforgettable, and even if your husband ever manages to attempt to put it behind him, things cannot be the same again.

X

Are the rest of the family enabling this behaviour? Did they know who was invited and condone her not inviting you and your DC?

OMFG! vile bitch. Mil not you OP.

Wow. Just, wow. I mean i agree that couples should spend some time apart not for the reasons she said!!not being nasty, has she got any mh problems?
I really cant believe she wished you had been sicker than you were. How could anybody say/think that!!

I feel sad for dh more than myself.

He always wants to make everybody happy and detests any sort of problem/argument like this he just looks heartbroken