to be riled by this comment from a colleague?

[dancingwithmyselfandthecat]

Someone I manage has requested emergency leave (unpaid - for the next couple of weeks) because her childcare arrangement for the holidays has fallen through.

I said that I would bring it up with my manager as soon as I could today, but explained that it is unlikely we will be able to accommodate the request because we are low staffed anyway (what with it being August and having accommodated other people's planned leave requests) and have some big deadlines coming up. I said that we may be able to meet her halfway, but she may need to make other arrangements, and if she needed some time today to ring around that would be fine.

To which she replied "Well, there's no way I can ask my husband because he earns more than me and has the more important job".

Now, I won't take this comment into consideration one way or another, but AIBU to be annoyed by it? From our perspective, she is a well-paid, full time employee with responsibilities. It is neither here nor there as to whether in a private context she and her DH consider him to be the "dominant" worker. And from a women-in-the-workplace/feminist perspective, what hope do we have of gaining greater equality when women treat their professional responsibilities in this way?

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I hope she did turn up and was apologetic. You have been more than fair to her and provided her with a reasonable solution if she is unable to find childcare at short notice. I had to take my children to work with me when they were younger and yes they were bored but tough I had to work and I provided them with snacks, books, and other gubbins to keep them occupied.

Very interesting thread. My salary is very nice, but still lower than DH's. However, I teach at university, which means that if I don't show up, a whole class is waiting for me and we'll have problems catching up later in the quarter, whereas DH is an internal consultant at his company. He usually has meetings, but with just 2-3 other people. Hence he usually stays home and reschedules, or we both go in half a day and finish our work at night.

So.... Did she make it in? With children in tow?

She made it in...at 3 o'clock! Today has proved very long. I will update tomorrow. I am just finishing work and plan to get very drunk relax as soon as I finish!

Well, you have the right to ask for parental leave. Manager's discretion decides whether you get it. Whoever the breadwinner is or what she said shouldn't come into it.

I take 2 weeks unpaid parental leave every year at Christmas because I've run out of AL by then. My boss is fine with this. If I went in and asked for the whole of August, at short notice, he'd prob blow a gasket. He'd grant it though, we have plenty of cover.

In your defence, the decision is yours, she can't just decide she's doing it. As it's a long time, and you simply can't cover it, I think you've been more than reasonable with your offer. I wouldn't want my kids in the office though, it just doesn't work. Been there, done that. My guess is that she's not been let down at all, she just wants the time off.

So you gave her yesterday off paid? Or today? Or did she take yesterday off AND until 3pm.

did she get her refund from the travel agent holiday activities/alternative cover sorted for the rest of August?

She's taking the piss. Royally.

It is only common sense for the lower paid parent to take the unpaid leave. Her only mistake was saying so. But on the other hand from your company's point of view she is a valuable employee who is needed at work. People can't just have time off because their childcare arrangments have fallen through. They must make other arrangements. I have been in this position and you just have to get on with it. Perhaps a couple of days but that's all.

Hissy I gave her yesterday off. Not today, nor any other day...

Ooh she's taking the piss.

If she is considering bringing her children in then there is likely to be an insurance problem.

Sheesh!

What was her excuse for thé 3pm arrival?

My understanding is that parental leave is quite different from emergency leave to care for dependents.

Parental leave - statutory entitlement for parents of children under 5 or older children if they have SEN. Max of 4 weeks per year. You also need to give 21 days notice.

Emergency leave to care for dependents - this is described on Direct Gov. as 'a reasonable amount of time off to deal with the emergency'.

Parental leave requires notice!

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Has she sorted it OP?

New manager and will be interested to see how it pans out.

She was ridiculous to say such a thing to her manager, even though she was thinking it.
I could make the same comment however (although not to my employer!) - dh couldn't take time off like that because his job is 'more important' than mine.

I work in a huge company - 300 people in my department alone. Of those, about 20 have the same job as me (people management). I earn a decent salary.
Df works in a much smaller company. He is a store manager with around 20 people under him.

IF one of us needs to take unpaid leave then it would always be me. Although it would be a pain for me, there are other people who could cover the essential tasks for me and my team during time off. There is no one who can cover df at short notice. It would leave his store, staff and company up the proverbial creek. Although I earn a decent salary, he earns about £15k more than me.

Overall, df's job is the most important - both to us as a family as he is the main breadwinner, and also (in comparison) to the staff he manages. My work can manage without me - his would struggle to manage without him.
Tis the way it is. I agree with the pp who said I wouldn't be willing to suffer financially just so as to be able to ring the feminist bell.

OP If I had been your employee in this circumstance I would have been amazed at your fairness and generosity. I tend to think there never eve was any child care planned and it was her intention to cover 2 weeks school hols this way. I only have oe DS and yes at 5 he probably would get bored watching dvd etc all day in an office but if I had no alternative for a couple of days that is what I would be doing as we'll as suggesting evening working etc if feasible to make up hours.

If it is at all possible I suggest you check her Facebook page for updates ......

oh yes' Bea - that's a very good point.
okay if she posts aboit doing such and such with the kids, if she was the emergency cover, but you would expect a large amount of flapping anout being stressed because she can't find emergency cover.?

Did she come in today ?

Any update?

Was there an update op?

This is one I would love an update on!!

Update! Update!!