Dh will time consuming hobby

[SpanishLady]

Just wondering how unreasonable I'm being by wanting to hit my dh over the head with one of his 6 cricket bats?

I'm 27 weeks pregnant with twins and have a 2.9 year old. I work full time with a 3 hour commute. We pay my mum to look after our toddler during the week.

My dh plays cricket every Saturday leaving at 12 and returning between 9-10pm. I'm fed up frankly as its beginning to take a physical toll on me - I get the season is nearly through (well late September and the twins may have arrived by then) so it's not so much about his doing it now but I've gotten to thinking why on earth does he think this is ok? He knows I have back and hip pain and his answer is to just not go out and says he looks after him on a Sunday ( well until I get up) so what's the problem?

We are also arguing about decorating the babies room - it is not just a lick of paint, it needs plastering and new flooring but he wants to leave it until after Christmas as wants to enjoy relaxing now and then get the twins in a routine. I have gone mental so he has backed down but not without a lot of 'get off my back' ' stop whining' comments.

He is generally a good guy so am increasingly bewildered about how he seems to be regressing into single man attitude. I'm not sure i like him very much to be honest and just want some support when I'm feeling so tired and weaker then usual.

Well of course OP can tell husband he must persist with DS at his own level if he is ever to like football. At 3 he must experience for himself first, spetating is just no good. Obviously same with cricket. Or any other sport. Why not give him PE National Curriculum to get him on right track...? DS needs to have a firm foundation, everything in the right order. Same with twins. Has he not heard of hot housing?

Take ball skills right down to the minutiae of detail (because you could have a possible professional player in your midst). That is he goes to the park with DS with a ball!

^ that should be spectating.

I'm the one in our house who plays rugby. DH knew this when he met me and I still play. I don't tour any more and I don't go to many socials but I play about ten or twelve matches a season and DH has DS those days. sometimes they come to watch, sometimes not. It's anything from 6-10 hours on a Sunday depending on the travelling. I ok it with DH before I agree to a match.

It's perfectly possible to keep a sport/hobby going with young kids, you just have to meet in the middle. And I understand the wish to bring your kids up interested in sport, DS aged 3 watches a fair bit of rugby and cricket whether he likes it or not

OP I'm glad you managed to work it out.

Celtic, well it's debatable as to whether she's managed to work things out. Her dh has suggested a great wheeze whereby he now nips off to football on Saturdays, instead of cricket. He reckons that if he takes their ds with him until he opts out as he's clearly too young the OP will think he's a hero.

Some posters think this is OK, as sport is "part of who he is." I think that's a load of bollocks, personally.

Sorry, have only glanced at the whole thread but I don't think OP is BU at all. It's all about balance isn't it? A whole day (including bedtime) at the weekend away from your young family is totally out of order imo.

Years and years ago I actually split up from a bf because of this. I was prepared to move across the country to live with him but he said he would be playing football and socialising with the team in the football season every week and playing cricket and socialising with the team in the cricket season. He would not even consider giving either of them up. We didn't even have Dcs but I think that is very selfish.

I love running and when training for a long race I have to do long runs. I get up very early on a Sunday to do them so that it doesn't eat into my family time. I also limit the amount of them that I enter for the same reason.

I hope he sees sense Op. Plenty of people maintain their hobbies and have a sense of balance and priority with regards to their families.

whilst I think your H needs to be fair, I don't think I could cope without having a good day to myself. Honestly it would drive me potty and probably get me very depressed.

The very very unfair bit is that it is not an even split.

If however it is that you don't want time to yourself (some people don't or aren't bothered) then you have to accept that he needs it.