To be so upset that a woman & her 2 children were given my (pre-booked online for an additional charge) plane seats?

[lalalady1971]

My DP and I flew to Cyprus last year on holidays. I'm a really nervous flyer but I get through it with mental preparation and don't want to let it stop me as we go away every year with my mum & dad, sister & husband and niece/nephew so it's a lovely get-together. (They live in different parts of the country so fly from different airports).

Part of my nerves-beating prep is pre-booking seats so I know exactly where we'll be sitting. I take a bit of time with this and look at the seats layout on the airline website, even down to the position of the window next to the seat so I'm definitely able to sit as calmly as possible without having to sit forward/twist my head backwards to see out (some seats have mainly plastic wall with the window further forward or back). This prob sounds very weird but part of it is extreme claustrophobia and being able to see outside/having a window really helps.

We paid a premium and pre-booked specific seats online, with extra legroom (my DP is 6ft 2) and a window seat with the window in the perfect position. All my mad requirements met so I felt ok! I also feel really self-conscious about my nervousness and sometimes retch a bit if I start feeling particularly anxious, so I like to be "cocooned" and safe in my window seat, hidden from others.

Soooo (sorry for such a long preamble!!), we get on the plane with our boarding passes and seat numbers (check-in acknowledged that we had booked our seats online already) only to find a woman and her 2 children (they looked about 8 & 10) sitting in our seats....with boarding cards with her original seat numbers scribbled out and our seats written on.

The stewardess approached and curtly asked what was the matter. I explained that there seemed to be some mistake as I'd pre-booked these seats. She went off to check and came back saying that someone had presumably gone through the seating plan at the gate and moved us as the woman had not pre-booked seats but needed to be seated with her children and the airline had to allow for that, so she had two new seat numbers for us.

I politely explained that I was a very nervous flyer and had specifically booked these seats (and paid extra for them!) so was there any way she could ask along the rows around if a different 3 people would mind moving as there were lots of gaps further down the plane but she said no, they'd updated the computer system at the gate so there was no way round it. (This made me feel even worse as I immediately thought, oh god it's so they know who's in which seat if the plane crashes and people die!!). At this point the woman in the seat stood up and said "Look, can't you see that I have children?! Obviously we need these seats more than you!", I was a bit taken-aback but said that I'd actually paid for these seats and if she was really that worried why didn't she pre-book seats so that they were guaranteed seats next to each other. She said she didn't need to, why on earth should she pay extra when she had children, the airline had to seat them together anyway. Followed by large amounts of smugness and smirking.

The stewardess then started tutting, saying the captain would go mad if we missed the take-off slot so we just needed to get into our seats. Oh god. Our new seats. It was my worst nightmare. She led us to the two seats halfway down the plane right next to the large exit doors. No window, just a door to my right with multiple emergency signs (and a bloody key in it with a massive red label on it saying "REMOVE AFTER TAKE-OFF" which stayed in for the whole flight!! (I was too mortified to ask anyone if it should really still be in the lock during the flight!). No seats in front of us so I felt massively exposed (and no seat-back for my crash position!!!), just a big gap then the next row. (Couldn't fault the leg-room though!). Plus a weird gap to my right as the two seats were slightly off-set so the window seat behind me had a bit of a half-gap in front of it. Through this gap, every 10 minutes or so, came a small child belonging to the couple sitting behind us. But the gap was a bit tight so the little girl was grabbing onto my arm-rest/arm to haul herself through, stepping on our feet as she came cackling past and grabbing my DP's knee to fling herself round the corner back into her parents' row. After an hour of this I turned to the couple and said "I'm sorry to be a pain but it's actually really annoying, d'you mind stopping her doing this" and they just looked at me (through the 20 mini wine bottles) and said it was keeping her quiet and it was a long flight for a little child so no, they couldn't.

Arghhh!! Dreadful experience. I felt really exposed and really anxious for the whole flight. Just horrible.

On a final note, the stewardess delivered my DP's pre-booked/paid meal to our original seats and the bloody woman took it and ate it!! My DP enquired as to where his meal was and, after 10 mins of him explaining what had happened with the seats (different stewardess!) she said she'd taken his meal to the original seat and it was accepted! She agreed to bring him a meal, but it had to be the vegetarian option now as they'd run out of standard meals...I was sorely tempted to say something to the woman at the baggage travelator thingy at the other end but by that point I was a bit of a wreck and couldn't be arsed with anything other than a large glass of wine!! (And she was still throwing the smug smirks my way so I didn't want to give her the satisfaction of showing I was bothered...)

I emailed Monarch when we got home and received a template email back saying, basically, tough shit, read the small print, we have the right to move you, this woman had children!! Yep, sorry about the meal but it's easily done as meals are allocated to seat numbers, not names and we have the right to change your meal, that's on the small print too.

We had a lovely holiday but we're off again in October to Turkey, again with Monarch (limited airline choice for date/time from our airport) and I'm utterly paranoid that this may happen again. Wonder if I should email Monarch in advance....or am I just over-reacting and being unreasonable??!

(And finaaaaally! I was pretty upset at that woman. I like to think if that were me I'd at least acknowledge the unfairness of the situation and say to the stewardess to be fair she has pre-booked and paid extra for these seats and is a nervous flyer, couldn't you just ask along the rows if anyone else would be happy to change seats? Or AIBU??!)

I'm a pretty confident, happy-go-lucky person in real life, it's just flying that turns me into a nervous wreck....maybe I just need to grow a pair!!

YANBU

They put a (very and openly) nervous flyer in the emergency exit space!?!?!

I'm not at all scared of flying but don't think I'll fly Monarch ever (currently booking a holiday so thinking about this) as that shows ignoring of basic safety rules.

Has anyone tweeted this?

What is it about getting on a plane which turns what I assume are otherwise reasonable people into entitled harridans?

I flew with BA a while back. They do priority boarding for people who need longer to board eg disabled and those with small children. On my flight this meant me, with my rollator, and a woman with a young child in a pushchair. This woman legged it down the ramp and was seated by the time I got there.

I went to leave my rollator by the door so it could be taken and loaded into the hold. The lovely steward said to bring it on board that they have a small cupboard and it could go there. He removed the folded up pushchair as there was only space for 1. Cue the banshee going ballistic because she got on first, her pushchair got on first etc. The steward very politely explained that stuff in the hold often ends up going to the carousels by mistake and therefore they try to keep people with disabilities and their aids together, just in case.

The other passenger was horrible to him, horrible to me and sulked and muttered under her breath for what seemed like the whole flight and beyond. I was so upset and cried for much of the flight. I was flying home because I'd had a phone call 4 hours earlier telling me that my dad had died. Dealing with horrible, shouty people was the last thing I needed.

YABU

While it is unpleasant for you to feel nervous on a flight, it is a safety issue for the children to be next to someone who will help them in an emergency.

The problem is with airlines charging extra to pre-book seats. Everyone should boycott this.

maja I don't think OP IU, but neither are people who expect to be sat next to their young children without paying, especially since it's clearly airline policy.

The airline has to find a way to sort this mess out. I think stopping this stupidity with the prebooked seats is a good first step...

Whether that woman was entitled to have her kids with her, whether she should have pre-booked her seats or not is irrelevant. It's her ner-ner-ner-ner attitude that would have boiled my piss. She knows, you know and the stewardess know that if you kick up you're off the plane. She didn't need to rub it in.

As to the couple behind, I've have been punching the dinger for a stewardess before you could say "brace".

What the fuck is it about flying that normal social conventions are abandoned and we turn into total wankers?

As a side note, having just flown EJ to Cyprus I have to say they were brilliant. Efficient, great on-plane service and good price. Will use them again with no hesitation.

Hopefully all the entitled selfish parents who posted a little while ago on a different thread saying that everyone should move to accommodate their children even if other people had prebooked and paid for seats will flock to Monarch. I remember some even exutlting about the likelihood of their children screaming, vomiting or wetting themselves if the other passengers refused to move.

What a dreadful experience and how badly handled.

I don't think that's what they said sooty... Only that airlines should handle things differently. It's not about the parent's entitlement but the child's. Why should they have to suffer, after all they have no choice on the prebooking seats process.

I agree though with TSS, I can't imagine jumping up and speaking to another passenger (or anyone I've ever met) in this manner... How childish

I'm due to fly with Monarch soon and I've never had a bad experience with them. I consider them to be one of the best budget airlines. I think in this instance their policy stinks though. If they really have to give pre-paid seats to people who haven't already paid for them then they should charge them extra. They could easily change their terms and conditions to say that if you are traveling with children and need to be seated together and the only seats available are pre-paid then you must pay extra. The person moved should then be compensated. Doing otherwise just encourages people to try and play the system.
I've pre-booked my seats and they wont move me to seats I don't want without refunding the extra fees I've paid.
Incidentally, when I had an experience nearly as bad as the op after paying for speedy boarding with easyjet, they refunded the money and apologised.

I think that I shall contact Monarch and point out OP's problem and say that they must tell all parents that need to sit next to children that they MUST pre book their seats. It is unacceptable. What a pity you were not on first because you could have refused to move.

I'm not sure I agree with posters about boycotting pre-paid seating. That wouldn't help the op get a seat she is happy with. Yes she could try and be at the front of the queue so as to hopefully get the best choice but that arrangement has to be the most stressful of all. You have to work really hard to be near the front of the queue at the gate. It involves being in a race with others when the gate number is revealed. Then everyone is trying every trick in the book to jump the queue. It really does bring out the worst in people. I've also seen airline employees telling people at the back of a queue to move up because they are blocking a passageway giving them the opportunity to jump to the front.
In my opinion paying for your seat is the best way. If you aren't bothered where you sit you don't have to pay.

Thing is, surely most passengers think its sensible for small children to be seated with their parents? I mean I want my children sat with me and equally if I was flying without my children, I most certainly wouldn't want to be sat next to someone else's unaccompanied child.

With monarch - it seems the problem is with the policy and this whole thing of pre-booking seats. Last time I flew with easyjet (2 years ago) priority bookers and families with small children were called at the same time. But now on ej flights you pre-book your seats as standard I'm sure.

I just wanted to say well done OP. You were put in a situation which added to your stress and you coped and survived.
I think you should be feeling very proud of yourself and can build on this for future flights.
Think the situation was badly handled all round and you are right to feel aggrieved but on the plus side you did it !

Thing is, surely most passengers think its sensible for small children to be seated with their parents?

I think reasonable people do agree with that MrsCampbellBlack. Which is why I didn't say I would insist on keeping my pre-paid seat. The Easyjet system was the least stressful for people traveling with children but probably the most stressful for everyone else. For the reasons I outlined in my last post. It really did bring out the worst in people. And it wouldn't help people like the OP who want to book a particular type of seat for other reasons.

But you now select your seat with EJ don't you when you book - sure I did for recent flights?

But yes, I agree with it bringing out the worst in people. Rather like buying or selling houses

And let's not start on reclining seats on short haul flights [shudders at remembering own thread on that subject]

I DO agree about boycotting, it's the only way. only or ebook the extra legroom seats if you need them, then the airlines will have to stop this ridiculous money making scam that out customers against each other to line their pockets. avoid these airlines wherever possible (monarch, Ryanair and Thomas Cook are exactly the same).

did you see Michael o Leary in the press the other day admiring that it is Ryan air policy to wake people up when they are sleeping to sell them things? disgusting but at least he admits it. unless lowest price possible is your prime concern, in which case put up with it and don't complain, pay a bit more for an airline that treats people better. easyjet seem to be just about capable of this as others have said.

you literally could not pay me to fly on Ryan Air no matter how cheap it was. and these days were talking 10 of pounds difference not 100s

But you now select your seat with EJ don't you when you book - sure I did for recent flights?

Yes you are right. They have changed during the last year. Before that if you wanted a chance of picking a seat you had to pay for speedy boarding. Which didn't guarantee you very much really. Especially as more and more people were paying for it.

Michael O Leary says anything to get publicity - he basically said as much in a recent documentary. Ryanair used to give loads away for free but made no money, only by charging for all the extras do they make a profit.

But it doesn't in my opinion make for a pleasant travelling experience. But then as with everything I guess you get what you pay for. Oh no, not actually in the OP's case.

YWBVU to have a go at the mother. The issue arose because of the airlines actions, not hers.

YWBVU to have a go at the mother. The issue arose because of the airlines actions, not hers.

I don't think she did have a go at the mother. I can't see where she said she did inn her op anyway.

Where did she say she had a go at the mother?

Are you going to defend the mother eating the preordered meal as the airline 's fault as well?

YABU to think that your nervousness trumps a child's need to sit next to a parent on a flight. We've just returned from Florida, and were split on both flights. Luckily I WAS sitting next to the child (my own) who vomited.

However, YANBU to be annoyed about the situation given that you paid extra to select your seats. I think it's outrageous that airlines charge for this. TBH, I think they should just allocate seats at time of booking- we booked as a party of 4. It was clear that 2 of the 4 were 7 yrs old. Why not just book 4 seats together on our behalf?