To be so upset that a woman & her 2 children were given my (pre-booked online for an additional charge) plane seats?

[lalalady1971]

My DP and I flew to Cyprus last year on holidays. I'm a really nervous flyer but I get through it with mental preparation and don't want to let it stop me as we go away every year with my mum & dad, sister & husband and niece/nephew so it's a lovely get-together. (They live in different parts of the country so fly from different airports).

Part of my nerves-beating prep is pre-booking seats so I know exactly where we'll be sitting. I take a bit of time with this and look at the seats layout on the airline website, even down to the position of the window next to the seat so I'm definitely able to sit as calmly as possible without having to sit forward/twist my head backwards to see out (some seats have mainly plastic wall with the window further forward or back). This prob sounds very weird but part of it is extreme claustrophobia and being able to see outside/having a window really helps.

We paid a premium and pre-booked specific seats online, with extra legroom (my DP is 6ft 2) and a window seat with the window in the perfect position. All my mad requirements met so I felt ok! I also feel really self-conscious about my nervousness and sometimes retch a bit if I start feeling particularly anxious, so I like to be "cocooned" and safe in my window seat, hidden from others.

Soooo (sorry for such a long preamble!!), we get on the plane with our boarding passes and seat numbers (check-in acknowledged that we had booked our seats online already) only to find a woman and her 2 children (they looked about 8 & 10) sitting in our seats....with boarding cards with her original seat numbers scribbled out and our seats written on.

The stewardess approached and curtly asked what was the matter. I explained that there seemed to be some mistake as I'd pre-booked these seats. She went off to check and came back saying that someone had presumably gone through the seating plan at the gate and moved us as the woman had not pre-booked seats but needed to be seated with her children and the airline had to allow for that, so she had two new seat numbers for us.

I politely explained that I was a very nervous flyer and had specifically booked these seats (and paid extra for them!) so was there any way she could ask along the rows around if a different 3 people would mind moving as there were lots of gaps further down the plane but she said no, they'd updated the computer system at the gate so there was no way round it. (This made me feel even worse as I immediately thought, oh god it's so they know who's in which seat if the plane crashes and people die!!). At this point the woman in the seat stood up and said "Look, can't you see that I have children?! Obviously we need these seats more than you!", I was a bit taken-aback but said that I'd actually paid for these seats and if she was really that worried why didn't she pre-book seats so that they were guaranteed seats next to each other. She said she didn't need to, why on earth should she pay extra when she had children, the airline had to seat them together anyway. Followed by large amounts of smugness and smirking.

The stewardess then started tutting, saying the captain would go mad if we missed the take-off slot so we just needed to get into our seats. Oh god. Our new seats. It was my worst nightmare. She led us to the two seats halfway down the plane right next to the large exit doors. No window, just a door to my right with multiple emergency signs (and a bloody key in it with a massive red label on it saying "REMOVE AFTER TAKE-OFF" which stayed in for the whole flight!! (I was too mortified to ask anyone if it should really still be in the lock during the flight!). No seats in front of us so I felt massively exposed (and no seat-back for my crash position!!!), just a big gap then the next row. (Couldn't fault the leg-room though!). Plus a weird gap to my right as the two seats were slightly off-set so the window seat behind me had a bit of a half-gap in front of it. Through this gap, every 10 minutes or so, came a small child belonging to the couple sitting behind us. But the gap was a bit tight so the little girl was grabbing onto my arm-rest/arm to haul herself through, stepping on our feet as she came cackling past and grabbing my DP's knee to fling herself round the corner back into her parents' row. After an hour of this I turned to the couple and said "I'm sorry to be a pain but it's actually really annoying, d'you mind stopping her doing this" and they just looked at me (through the 20 mini wine bottles) and said it was keeping her quiet and it was a long flight for a little child so no, they couldn't.

Arghhh!! Dreadful experience. I felt really exposed and really anxious for the whole flight. Just horrible.

On a final note, the stewardess delivered my DP's pre-booked/paid meal to our original seats and the bloody woman took it and ate it!! My DP enquired as to where his meal was and, after 10 mins of him explaining what had happened with the seats (different stewardess!) she said she'd taken his meal to the original seat and it was accepted! She agreed to bring him a meal, but it had to be the vegetarian option now as they'd run out of standard meals...I was sorely tempted to say something to the woman at the baggage travelator thingy at the other end but by that point I was a bit of a wreck and couldn't be arsed with anything other than a large glass of wine!! (And she was still throwing the smug smirks my way so I didn't want to give her the satisfaction of showing I was bothered...)

I emailed Monarch when we got home and received a template email back saying, basically, tough shit, read the small print, we have the right to move you, this woman had children!! Yep, sorry about the meal but it's easily done as meals are allocated to seat numbers, not names and we have the right to change your meal, that's on the small print too.

We had a lovely holiday but we're off again in October to Turkey, again with Monarch (limited airline choice for date/time from our airport) and I'm utterly paranoid that this may happen again. Wonder if I should email Monarch in advance....or am I just over-reacting and being unreasonable??!

(And finaaaaally! I was pretty upset at that woman. I like to think if that were me I'd at least acknowledge the unfairness of the situation and say to the stewardess to be fair she has pre-booked and paid extra for these seats and is a nervous flyer, couldn't you just ask along the rows if anyone else would be happy to change seats? Or AIBU??!)

I'm a pretty confident, happy-go-lucky person in real life, it's just flying that turns me into a nervous wreck....maybe I just need to grow a pair!!

On the other hand (not about original OP) the last time I went on a plane, there was NO option for pre-booking seats, it was turn up and grab and what you can. A family arrived quite late, but as all the passengers were on pre-booked coaches to the airport I doubt that it was their fault. There were 3 seats available, all spread out. The mother had the baby on her lap, the father was sat further down the plane and the little girl, about 3yo was sat on her own. I was that no-one would swap and the flight attendants did nothing. She sobbed for the entire flight. I genuinely would have swapped if my DH and I hadn't already split up with our own little ones and mine would have been just as bad if I had left them alone. It was only an hour flight, would it really have hurt a couple to sit alone for that long?

We had a similar experience on honeymoon, people pinched our seats and the airline staff couldn't see why we were annoyed. They also tried to take our food but we were sat in front of them, so were able to intervene and eventually we got our meals (after a lot of tutting, huffing and rolling of eyes from the staff and the seat-pinchers)!! We were upgraded for free by the travel agents so didn't actually pay more for the legroom and meals, so couldn't even ask for a refund.

I really feel for you. I have booked flights for me and my eldest child in a couple of week, it is a very short flight but I still paid extra to book seats, wouldn't occur to me not to as I want to sit beside her. I do think it is ridiculous that you have to pay just to sit beside your child/friend/partner etc you should only have to pay extra for premium seats. Surely they should allocate the seats as you book, if they haven't enough left together then they should make it clear at the time of booking so people can choose a different flight.

Moving your seats is bad.
Taking your DDs meal was bad.
The little shot pushing through your seats was bad but you could have knocked that on the head the second time the child did it by telling the child directly rather than via the parents.

Hmmm I had similar in Singapore with BA/ SA. Nervous flier needed to be with dp and they tried to split us even though we'd pre booked and done everything to ensure we were together.

When I pointed out that we'd done everything w were supposed to and would never have flown with them if we knew they'd do this the scary SA man put us back together.

Change airline,I'll certainly be avoiding the airline you've mentioned.

I think the Stewardesses should have made more effort to accommodate you actually. It wAsnt the passengers responsibility. I understand that 8 and 10 year olds probably could have sat by themselves etc but the airline changed the seats and the onus was on them.

YANBU to be upset, it sounds awful but YABU to expect the passenger to have dealt with your issues. I hope you have a better time travelling to Turkey.

I would have demanded a refund on the seats and the meals.

We flew in June with Thomas cook and the member of staff told a parent who was sat behind his child that they couldn't ask someone who had paid to choose their seats to move.

Monarch's service sounds poor.

OMG!! I'm a nervous flyer and an anxious person generally and your post has made me glad (for once) that I'm too poor for holidays abroad! I'd take this further if I were you.
I hope you find a way to cope with your fear, and that you can enjoy your hols.

I'm not an expert in this kind of thing, but I wonder whether a genuine fear of flying counts as a disability of some kind.

The mum might have had a bad attitude but I do think people who are saying she should have paid extra to book seats are wrong. The airline apparently have it in their t and c that they won't sit under sixteens alone. If I booked with them, given that I am indifferent about where I sit as long as I am with DC, I certainly wouldn't pay extra for specific seats knowing the basic price assured I was with DC anyway.

I also think the meal thing could easily have been innocent on her part. If you don't have any special dietary needs it would be easily done to just accept what was brought without any thought.

see this is why the greedy budge airlines are goin to have to stop charging for pre-booked seats. once the whole plane is doing it they have no room for manoeuvre to sit small children next to parents (rightly so IMO), move overweight people etc. greed greed greed.

mystery - on Monarch you don't get food as standard.

It's the equivalent of sitting in a pub and having the waiter bring you steak and chips you haven't ordered. Only a very cheeky person would say "oh yes, thanks" and scoff it!

fairy I completely agree with you. they should only release a limited number of pre book able seats IMO so you can pay if you want (but not be expected to pay for the privilege of sitting next to your family) and have a pretty good guarantee of getting that seat. if they lease out the whole plane this kind of thing will increasingly happen. you don't get this kind of shit on BA, virgin etc as they leave seat allocation to the checkin staff in time honoured tradition who have the discretion to move people and could have accommodated both a woman with kids and a nervous flyer.

What a shocking service. I have kids which is why we always prebook and check in early....I would get on twitter about this!

Haven't read all of the other responses but I'd write to the Telegraph's travel section and maybe see if the airline can offer you AT LEAST the cost of your pre-booked seats back??

I think I'd be going by boat next time tbh. They are clearly a crap airline, it sounds like chaos, and honestly they WILL stuff you over again, if you give them the chance.

I don't understand why you booked with them again.

Planes should be banned anyway imo. I hate planes and everything to do with them. (apart from single person airplanes, that sort of thing is rather nice)

Passenger jets are wrong in so many ways.

I haven't flown for years, and last time I did the whole thing was booked by someone else, so it probably wouldn't occur to me that I would need to pay extra to sit with my dc. Last time I flew, the 18 members of my family were all sat together (not in one row obv)
And people saying that at 10 and 8 the dc are big enough not to ait with their mum, imo that depends on how used they are to flying. My dc are 8 and 6, and have never been on a plane. I could easily see them not doing so in the next 2 years, but can't imagine them not sitting with me for their 1st ever flight!

That said op, Yanbu. I'd complain long and loud!

I'm flying tomorrow with DD and DS (5 and 7) and didn't prebook seats. I have checked in online and I we were all sat together (as expected). In fact it is airline policy to sit children under 16 with a parent. I even called them about it and they said, I quote, they wouldn't under any circumstances separate young children from the adults in their party. We booked four seats, one of them is at the other end of the plane, but I'm not bothered, as long as it's 2+2 or 3+1 fine by me.

The lady with the children shouldn't have talked to you at all, this was between you and the airline, especially since you were not talking to her but the stewardess (unless you challenged her directly and omitted to mention it here).

I don't understand why they had to the change last moment. When the lady booked her tickets they could see she has children, they could have automatically allocated the seats then, not do the change at the gate.

Do complain about it, I would. I'd give them bad reviews on websites as well.

just a point though: I'm not sure someone traveling alone with two young children has the time or energy to give smug looks and smirks for hours, are you sure it was not your perception of it because you were an emotional wreck and annoyed with her? Just saying...

I'm afraid I would introduce a new clause in their TC saying:

"If you have children under 16 with you, you MUST pre-book your seats so you are together. This is to stop 'entitled' shits making people move who HAVE paid. If you do not, we will not fly you. Thank you."

My son is just about to fly to Croatia with Monarch. He has Aspergers and has pre-booked their seats. I would really really like to see Monarch try and split up their party !! Ooooooooh, the fall-out would be spectacular.

It would be so easy to arrange it so that at the booking stage, if you are booking children on it automatically takes you to the book a specific seat page.
Poor organisation on their part

btw OP, not doubting you, just saying you might have seen things a bit different due to your emotional state, it happens to everyone

Of course yanbu!

Also if their current system for meals doesn't work. If people pay for their own pre booked ears then they should allocate them to names not seats when they know full well that they move people's seats whether they like it or not.

Two very simple changes to their systems and everyone's a winner

What an appallingly handled situation. I'd agree with the other posters that you should keep complaining. But I'd suggest Twitter. The only times I've got anywhere with complaints to useless companies recently has been when I've posted on Twitter. Down to the mobile phone provider who cocked up my contract, I spent months arguing with them, they said they agreed I was right but they couldn't change it. Month! Endless letters and phone calls. One post on Twitter and it was sorted the next day!