To be so upset that a woman & her 2 children were given my (pre-booked online for an additional charge) plane seats?

[lalalady1971]

My DP and I flew to Cyprus last year on holidays. I'm a really nervous flyer but I get through it with mental preparation and don't want to let it stop me as we go away every year with my mum & dad, sister & husband and niece/nephew so it's a lovely get-together. (They live in different parts of the country so fly from different airports).

Part of my nerves-beating prep is pre-booking seats so I know exactly where we'll be sitting. I take a bit of time with this and look at the seats layout on the airline website, even down to the position of the window next to the seat so I'm definitely able to sit as calmly as possible without having to sit forward/twist my head backwards to see out (some seats have mainly plastic wall with the window further forward or back). This prob sounds very weird but part of it is extreme claustrophobia and being able to see outside/having a window really helps.

We paid a premium and pre-booked specific seats online, with extra legroom (my DP is 6ft 2) and a window seat with the window in the perfect position. All my mad requirements met so I felt ok! I also feel really self-conscious about my nervousness and sometimes retch a bit if I start feeling particularly anxious, so I like to be "cocooned" and safe in my window seat, hidden from others.

Soooo (sorry for such a long preamble!!), we get on the plane with our boarding passes and seat numbers (check-in acknowledged that we had booked our seats online already) only to find a woman and her 2 children (they looked about 8 & 10) sitting in our seats....with boarding cards with her original seat numbers scribbled out and our seats written on.

The stewardess approached and curtly asked what was the matter. I explained that there seemed to be some mistake as I'd pre-booked these seats. She went off to check and came back saying that someone had presumably gone through the seating plan at the gate and moved us as the woman had not pre-booked seats but needed to be seated with her children and the airline had to allow for that, so she had two new seat numbers for us.

I politely explained that I was a very nervous flyer and had specifically booked these seats (and paid extra for them!) so was there any way she could ask along the rows around if a different 3 people would mind moving as there were lots of gaps further down the plane but she said no, they'd updated the computer system at the gate so there was no way round it. (This made me feel even worse as I immediately thought, oh god it's so they know who's in which seat if the plane crashes and people die!!). At this point the woman in the seat stood up and said "Look, can't you see that I have children?! Obviously we need these seats more than you!", I was a bit taken-aback but said that I'd actually paid for these seats and if she was really that worried why didn't she pre-book seats so that they were guaranteed seats next to each other. She said she didn't need to, why on earth should she pay extra when she had children, the airline had to seat them together anyway. Followed by large amounts of smugness and smirking.

The stewardess then started tutting, saying the captain would go mad if we missed the take-off slot so we just needed to get into our seats. Oh god. Our new seats. It was my worst nightmare. She led us to the two seats halfway down the plane right next to the large exit doors. No window, just a door to my right with multiple emergency signs (and a bloody key in it with a massive red label on it saying "REMOVE AFTER TAKE-OFF" which stayed in for the whole flight!! (I was too mortified to ask anyone if it should really still be in the lock during the flight!). No seats in front of us so I felt massively exposed (and no seat-back for my crash position!!!), just a big gap then the next row. (Couldn't fault the leg-room though!). Plus a weird gap to my right as the two seats were slightly off-set so the window seat behind me had a bit of a half-gap in front of it. Through this gap, every 10 minutes or so, came a small child belonging to the couple sitting behind us. But the gap was a bit tight so the little girl was grabbing onto my arm-rest/arm to haul herself through, stepping on our feet as she came cackling past and grabbing my DP's knee to fling herself round the corner back into her parents' row. After an hour of this I turned to the couple and said "I'm sorry to be a pain but it's actually really annoying, d'you mind stopping her doing this" and they just looked at me (through the 20 mini wine bottles) and said it was keeping her quiet and it was a long flight for a little child so no, they couldn't.

Arghhh!! Dreadful experience. I felt really exposed and really anxious for the whole flight. Just horrible.

On a final note, the stewardess delivered my DP's pre-booked/paid meal to our original seats and the bloody woman took it and ate it!! My DP enquired as to where his meal was and, after 10 mins of him explaining what had happened with the seats (different stewardess!) she said she'd taken his meal to the original seat and it was accepted! She agreed to bring him a meal, but it had to be the vegetarian option now as they'd run out of standard meals...I was sorely tempted to say something to the woman at the baggage travelator thingy at the other end but by that point I was a bit of a wreck and couldn't be arsed with anything other than a large glass of wine!! (And she was still throwing the smug smirks my way so I didn't want to give her the satisfaction of showing I was bothered...)

I emailed Monarch when we got home and received a template email back saying, basically, tough shit, read the small print, we have the right to move you, this woman had children!! Yep, sorry about the meal but it's easily done as meals are allocated to seat numbers, not names and we have the right to change your meal, that's on the small print too.

We had a lovely holiday but we're off again in October to Turkey, again with Monarch (limited airline choice for date/time from our airport) and I'm utterly paranoid that this may happen again. Wonder if I should email Monarch in advance....or am I just over-reacting and being unreasonable??!

(And finaaaaally! I was pretty upset at that woman. I like to think if that were me I'd at least acknowledge the unfairness of the situation and say to the stewardess to be fair she has pre-booked and paid extra for these seats and is a nervous flyer, couldn't you just ask along the rows if anyone else would be happy to change seats? Or AIBU??!)

I'm a pretty confident, happy-go-lucky person in real life, it's just flying that turns me into a nervous wreck....maybe I just need to grow a pair!!

ourlittlestreet

That's crazy! I'm always glad of a kind soul helping me with a buggy when I need it but I'm a perfectly able bodied person and don't assume any more "rights" just because I have a child with me. People are just rude

And then, one year later, you thought "I know, I'll post about it on a parenting website..."

YABU to think that your nervousness trumps a child's need to sit next to a parent on a flight. We've just returned from Florida, and were split on both flights. Luckily I WAS sitting next to the child (my own) who vomited. hmm

I don't think she did. She had paid extra to get the seats she wanted. She had every right to think that having done so that the airline and the parents themselves would sort out their seating arrangements. It wouldn't even have occurred to me that they wouldn't have done so and so I would have been equally perplexed in her position, especially if I had a fear of flying and had chosen the seats I felt safest in.

To be fair, the airlines don't always know that someone has prebooked an extra legroom seat ans spent hours determining where windows are. To most travellers, extra legoom is extra legroom. Busy, overworked check in staff probably saw two booked extra legroom sets that weren't in an exit row and thought that swapping them with other extra legroom seats was a non issue. For most travellers it wouldn't be.

The hostess handled it badly, but she was probably also under pressure, the turnaround time at the gate is cut pretty fine, and she would be expected to get everyone in seats as quickly as possible. This whole seating thing seems like a nightmare that should be done away. I bet the flight attendantswould love to see it gone too, it must be one of their biggest angsts.

The entitled mother sounds like a bitch, nd prents of the running child would have been told that I was opening the emergency door and letting her play on the wing.

I agree with posting on their facebook page and twitter, the might of mumsnet would ensure that it was not ignored for long. The staff have behaved appallingly, and their procedures are crap if someone got your DP meal

complain and keep complaining until they accept that they were wrong and apologise

Yanbu at all

The airline should ask before swapping seats and you should always have a chance to refuse.

If parents want to sit by their kids and there is an option to book seats but they chose not to then tough shit to them

Turnip - what crap. So you'd be happy for your 7 yr old to sit by herself on a flight would you?

Airlines need to stop doing this- it's just another way for them to make money.

OR it needs to be free, and done sensibly, at the time of booking. And there should be a place to state any needs (ie nervous flier)

BTW, I don't expect Monarch will care particularly - budget airlines will always be able to fill their seats.

We flew with Virgin. I complained (online) about the fact that we were split on the flights and they got straight back to me.

Thing is though, to play devil's advocate - why would the woman have paid extra to sit next to her children if she didn't need to? She may have been told this upfront because of their policy of under 16's being sat with an unaccompanied adult.

And as others have said the OP did get equivalent seats - just not the exact ones she'd booked. I think she should have complained straight after but as she's booked to fly with them again - well, I don't know but it just seems a bit odd. Personally I'd have booked to travel with easyjet and got the seats I'd wanted.

Ur are not bu. i get pissed off with people like that, if you wanted to make sure u were sitting with your kids you pay extra. I always pay extra so im sat where i want. I would not have taken the other seats.

Never assume you will sit with your kids no matter how young.
Yes it's a safety issue but must airlines couldn't give a shit especially if they are not babies.
I've had this happen countless times and been flamed on mn for moaning about it.
That's the reason we bought a camper van and stopped flying

YANBU, unfortunately though some people are entitled shits and laughable these said entitled shits tend to be the first to whine when think they are hard done by. Personally I'd make it mandatory for parents of under 13s to book allocated seating but I'd said they pay for themselves, the children's allocated seating is free and so if parents try not to pay for their own tickets thinking they will get a free move then the system will not allow them to purchase or check in online.

That way in that situation, mum would have had to pay the seating booking for herself but would have had seating sorted for all of them through the same system. If she had refused to pay, she would have had to go to the check in desk there and be refused boarding until she did. Simple.

For those between 13-16, the parents have option to book their kids for free when they pay but if they don't they check an 'agreement' box to say they understand and accept the teen may not be seated next to them.

Personally I'd have booked to travel with easyjet and got the seats I'd wanted.

Isn't Easyjet's new seating system exactly the same as Monarch's now though? Also the op would have had even less chance of getting her required seats wouldn't she?

At the end of the day, I don't think any system is perfect. I think paying a small amount to be guaranteed the seat you want is the best way IMO.

I agree that it is not fair but I also agree with whoever said that airlines should stop offering seat selection.

Airlines should do the seating so they have full control over seating children, disabled etc without upsetting those who have pre paid for their seats. This would make it much simpler for all. I have been on the reviewing end of a seating change where the other person was very upset with me and didnt hide it (was not my fault!). All the bad feeling would disappear if they didnt offer this service.

The fact they didnt refund your fee or your dh meal is very unfair!!!

Do t&c say that children have to be sat next to parents? I thought it was they had to be in the same row?
I would move if i hadnt pre booked, but if i had paid extra i wouldnt move. May sound selfish but if id paid extra i would move for parents with children who hadn't paid extra.

We take a lot fewer flights than we did because of the way people are currently treated at airports and on planes. When we do fly I now book lounges, express security lanes, valet parking - the whole caboodle. It does have a positive impact on stress levels so I would recommend people factor that into their holiday costs if flying makes them anxious or cross.

I'm flying later this month and have prebooked and paid both ways months ago. As it's Ryanair I will be getting on early but there is no way I'll be moving out of it for someone who didn't pay for priority boarding.

YANBU - it's unreasonable of parents to assume they have a god given right to sit next to their child, in my opinion (and I don't actually care if anyone disagrees with that - they're entitled to their opinion and I'm entitled to mine). If they're that desperate to have seats together, they should book them and pay the premium - just like everyone else. Not having children doesn't make you a second class citizen to be shunted around at their mercy to your inconvenience. That said, I'd happily move for a family - or indeed, the OP - on a plane as I have no issues where I am. My point is that whilst one may be willing to if asked or allowed to offer, I do not think anyone should be forced to move, be separated or put in an unpleasant situation if they have specifically planned and paid extra to avoid such an eventuality.

The mother who took your seat was horrifically unreasonable to say what she did and was very entitled in her attitude, whether or not she was correct (since clearly Monarch agree with her). I think the airline are unreasonable in their actions and their inflexibility, and also in their lack of response to your complaint. But I can't say I'd expect any better...

I also think the parents of the child behind you were unreasonable, obnoxious and all that is wrong with society - rude and inconsiderate of the intrusion their child's behaviour presented to you.

Well I think the problem lies with the airline, not that mother. If the airlines sat parents with their children anyway, it would be a non issue. Although I'm sorry you were treated like that. I would have thought that if you had booked a particular seat then it should be yours. But it is the airlines fault for giving her those particular seats, and giving her your meal.

jessieagain The problem with them allocating then rather then allocating in advance is that if they get to the end of booking a long line of people in and six families turn up at the last minute-what do they do? How do they rearrange so those kids can be with someone and confuse those who have already checked in?

I think people should pay on booking, adults should pay as I said above and state who they want to be seated with. Then 24 hours before they can check in online and see where they've been allocated their seats by the airline together and have a choice to move their family unit (be it parents and childs, or couple, or single persons) if there is one.

In this case though I really think it was the airline who were the unreasonable ones. Basically they offered something they couldn't actually deliver.

Their policy is all under 16's sit next to the accompanying adult. It doesn't matter if people think that's entitled behaviour, that is the policy.

And actually I'm with ledkr in thinking children should be sat next to their parents. Because if on the very rare occasion I was travelling without mine, god, the very last thing I'd want is to be sat next to some unaccompanied 3 year old because I would feel very responsible for them. And I'm pretty sure I'm not alone in that.

So, I agree, the airlines should perhaps just put the standard price up and then pre-allocate all seats bearing in mind disabilities etc.

God, this thread has so put me off flying again for a while. Although last time I was on a flight sitting next to my toddler and holding a small baby, amazingly no-one wanted to sit near us at all

So if preallocating all seats to allow for families results in a price rise for everyone that discriminates against people travelling without children.

I'd go for a price rise if it meant I was travelling without my children and didn't have to sit next to someone elses though

The thing is, the airlines are never going to please everyone, thats evident from this thread. So I guess the current EJ approach works well - you choose seats when you book so the earlier you book, the more choice you have. And prices vary anyway as to when you book don't they?

perhaps what the airline should do is charge anyone travelling with children under 16 the 'choose your seat charge'. that would stop these chancers who are relying on others to give up their paid for, reserved seats.