Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be so upset that a woman & her 2 children were given my (pre-booked online for an additional charge) plane seats?

361 replies

lalalady1971 · 10/08/2013 04:13

My DP and I flew to Cyprus last year on holidays. I'm a really nervous flyer but I get through it with mental preparation and don't want to let it stop me as we go away every year with my mum & dad, sister & husband and niece/nephew so it's a lovely get-together. (They live in different parts of the country so fly from different airports).

Part of my nerves-beating prep is pre-booking seats so I know exactly where we'll be sitting. I take a bit of time with this and look at the seats layout on the airline website, even down to the position of the window next to the seat so I'm definitely able to sit as calmly as possible without having to sit forward/twist my head backwards to see out (some seats have mainly plastic wall with the window further forward or back). This prob sounds very weird but part of it is extreme claustrophobia and being able to see outside/having a window really helps.

We paid a premium and pre-booked specific seats online, with extra legroom (my DP is 6ft 2) and a window seat with the window in the perfect position. All my mad requirements met so I felt ok! I also feel really self-conscious about my nervousness and sometimes retch a bit if I start feeling particularly anxious, so I like to be "cocooned" and safe in my window seat, hidden from others.

Soooo (sorry for such a long preamble!!), we get on the plane with our boarding passes and seat numbers (check-in acknowledged that we had booked our seats online already) only to find a woman and her 2 children (they looked about 8 & 10) sitting in our seats....with boarding cards with her original seat numbers scribbled out and our seats written on.

The stewardess approached and curtly asked what was the matter. I explained that there seemed to be some mistake as I'd pre-booked these seats. She went off to check and came back saying that someone had presumably gone through the seating plan at the gate and moved us as the woman had not pre-booked seats but needed to be seated with her children and the airline had to allow for that, so she had two new seat numbers for us.

I politely explained that I was a very nervous flyer and had specifically booked these seats (and paid extra for them!) so was there any way she could ask along the rows around if a different 3 people would mind moving as there were lots of gaps further down the plane but she said no, they'd updated the computer system at the gate so there was no way round it. (This made me feel even worse as I immediately thought, oh god it's so they know who's in which seat if the plane crashes and people die!!). At this point the woman in the seat stood up and said "Look, can't you see that I have children?! Obviously we need these seats more than you!", I was a bit taken-aback but said that I'd actually paid for these seats and if she was really that worried why didn't she pre-book seats so that they were guaranteed seats next to each other. She said she didn't need to, why on earth should she pay extra when she had children, the airline had to seat them together anyway. Followed by large amounts of smugness and smirking.

The stewardess then started tutting, saying the captain would go mad if we missed the take-off slot so we just needed to get into our seats. Oh god. Our new seats. It was my worst nightmare. She led us to the two seats halfway down the plane right next to the large exit doors. No window, just a door to my right with multiple emergency signs (and a bloody key in it with a massive red label on it saying "REMOVE AFTER TAKE-OFF" which stayed in for the whole flight!! (I was too mortified to ask anyone if it should really still be in the lock during the flight!). No seats in front of us so I felt massively exposed (and no seat-back for my crash position!!!), just a big gap then the next row. (Couldn't fault the leg-room though!). Plus a weird gap to my right as the two seats were slightly off-set so the window seat behind me had a bit of a half-gap in front of it. Through this gap, every 10 minutes or so, came a small child belonging to the couple sitting behind us. But the gap was a bit tight so the little girl was grabbing onto my arm-rest/arm to haul herself through, stepping on our feet as she came cackling past and grabbing my DP's knee to fling herself round the corner back into her parents' row. After an hour of this I turned to the couple and said "I'm sorry to be a pain but it's actually really annoying, d'you mind stopping her doing this" and they just looked at me (through the 20 mini wine bottles) and said it was keeping her quiet and it was a long flight for a little child so no, they couldn't.

Arghhh!! Dreadful experience. I felt really exposed and really anxious for the whole flight. Just horrible.

On a final note, the stewardess delivered my DP's pre-booked/paid meal to our original seats and the bloody woman took it and ate it!! My DP enquired as to where his meal was and, after 10 mins of him explaining what had happened with the seats (different stewardess!) she said she'd taken his meal to the original seat and it was accepted! She agreed to bring him a meal, but it had to be the vegetarian option now as they'd run out of standard meals...I was sorely tempted to say something to the woman at the baggage travelator thingy at the other end but by that point I was a bit of a wreck and couldn't be arsed with anything other than a large glass of wine!! (And she was still throwing the smug smirks my way so I didn't want to give her the satisfaction of showing I was bothered...)

I emailed Monarch when we got home and received a template email back saying, basically, tough shit, read the small print, we have the right to move you, this woman had children!! Yep, sorry about the meal but it's easily done as meals are allocated to seat numbers, not names and we have the right to change your meal, that's on the small print too.

We had a lovely holiday but we're off again in October to Turkey, again with Monarch (limited airline choice for date/time from our airport) and I'm utterly paranoid that this may happen again. Wonder if I should email Monarch in advance....or am I just over-reacting and being unreasonable??!

(And finaaaaally! I was pretty upset at that woman. I like to think if that were me I'd at least acknowledge the unfairness of the situation and say to the stewardess to be fair she has pre-booked and paid extra for these seats and is a nervous flyer, couldn't you just ask along the rows if anyone else would be happy to change seats? Or AIBU??!)

I'm a pretty confident, happy-go-lucky person in real life, it's just flying that turns me into a nervous wreck....maybe I just need to grow a pair!!

OP posts:
IneedAyoniNickname · 11/08/2013 22:59

Grin im amazed that my theory could be possible! I thougt I'd get lots of "dont be so fucking stupid" type responses!

Wibbly it worried me as I thought it, that the staff would just believe it!

Terry while I'm sure some 8 year olds can sit on there own, I know mine wouldn't. He has never flown,and is very shy! Also if anything were to go wrong, he and I would both panic far more if we weren't together!

UptheChimney · 11/08/2013 23:14

*Is it possible that the other woman changed the tickets herself? Could she have got on the plane, decided she wanted those seats, whipped out a pen andc lied?

It sounds unlikely. But maybe*

That thought had crossed my mind. In almost 50 years of flying, I've never seen a boarding card altered in hand writing and pen. Seems dodgy to me.

This thread just makes me glad I rarely fly with a "cheap" airline. They're generally not really that much cheaper, and you take your luck with the manners of some other passengers.

OP, YANBU.

Re EasyJet: they now allocate seats on booking. If you want to choose a specific seat, or seat a party together, you can pay extra. But I flew with them recently (no choice re airline because of destination) and boarding was quite OK, except that they didn't do the sensible thing and board in rows of 10 starting from the back of the plane, after boarding people with children under 5. Orderly boarding is actually much much quicker, so I don't know why they didn't do it this way.

But the 45 minute queue at the airport just to get to the bag drop was insane, so I won't be going EasyJet again.

Nerfmother · 12/08/2013 07:09

Thanks LaLa, very nice of you. Good luck with the letter, sounds like you have some good bits to quote now.

SpringyReframed · 12/08/2013 07:37

OP you were incredibly badly treated but it doesnt surprise me and I dont know what the answer is. I dont think you will get anywhere with a complaint. Most cabin crew could not give a sh*te. (Saw one refuse to help an old lady with her hand luggage recently. Shocking.)

I once travelled on Ryan Air from Dublin with my 3 DC aged 9,8 and 1 at the time on pre booked seats. We had one row of 3 seats. As we sat down the man in the row opposite started swearing loudly about f*cking kids, the elder two having already got their books out and started quietly reading and the baby was quiet on my knee. Angry.

I called the cabin crew and asked to be moved. They refused. I ended up having an argument with them and it was pretty upsetting. In the end I said "that man is clearly drunk and should be removed from this plane. If you dont want me to report this on landing then I suggest you move us right now." They did it. It was a horrible experience and the now adult DC's remember it. I have never flown Ryan Air since. It has never caused me any inconvenience which gives me a smug satisfaction. Wink

stickingattwo · 12/08/2013 08:26

YABU - it wasn't pleasant for you but I o think that you're overreacting. It's usually easier for everyone if children are seated with parents. And in an emergency of course the kids need to be with them. Write an email though and you will get the money back.

Wabbitty · 12/08/2013 10:17

For all those that have said the OP was BU. Let's put it into another scenario.

You go to the cinema to watch a popular film which has only just come out. You have not pre-booked a seat. In front of you in the queue are 2 women with their kids (think there were 3 kids) also wanting to watch this film. You overhear the cashier telling the women that the cinema is almost fully booked and that it would not be possible to seat them all together. What do you do?

In our case we turned around and went home but not before we heard one of the women asking the cashier to either to go into the cinema and asking if anyone would like to swap seats or just give her some pre-booked seats and for the cashier to explain to the other people when they came in. The cashier could not explain to the woman how U she was being.

I have also flown once where there was supposed to be a kid next to me in economy (he looked about 9-10) and his parents were in business class. I say supposed to as the flight crew moved him to be with his parents.

FrancesDeLaTourCoughngIntoABin · 12/08/2013 10:37

Is there not some law (Sale of goods act??) the OP can quote as she did not get the service she paid for?

TerrysNo2 · 12/08/2013 11:48

ineedayoninickname I don't mean sitting far apart but in a row in front or behind or across the aisle where they can see their parents is enough IMO.

H2Ointolerant · 12/08/2013 12:09

Be warned, Monarch were terrible when I made a complaint recently. They simply don't reply to emails. I started in May and am still trying when I can summon up the energy.

Wibblypiglikesbananas · 12/08/2013 13:39

Having read through the last few posts, it makes me glad that I worked for a reputable airline...

The drunken passenger should never have been allowed on board - ground staff should have spotted him at the gate. On the rare occasion that this isn't picked up, at the first sign of disruption on board (obviously prior to take off) the crew should have refused to fly him. End of.

And the parents in business with a child in economy - again, the booking should not have been allowed due to health and safety. They should have been made to pay for an upgrade for him so he could sit with them, downgraded themselves to sit with him in economy or paid for him to be accompanied by another adult in economy, eg through a Skyflyers scheme or similar. This used to be a really common stunt that many a well off parent would pull actually - book mum and dad (or often just dad, actually), into business or first and shove the kids down the back. And then expect the airline to upgrade said kids/kids and wife for free. So much for a family holiday!

tangerinefeathers · 12/08/2013 15:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Flossiechops · 12/08/2013 19:47

mcavity are you the woman in the Ops booked and paid for seat? You sound as much as a self entitled twat as she was. For those who said the op is being unreasonable then I can only presume you do not have a crippling fear of flying? I do and I know exactly how the op would feel in this situation. What the bloody hell is the point in having pre-booked seats if they can just be swapped?!

FamiliesShareGerms · 12/08/2013 20:04

I've had my boarding card altered manually on more than one occasion at the departure gate (promise not by me with a biro!)

Hulababy · 06/02/2014 18:47

The "right to change your seats" thing is standard with every airline I have flown with iirr - and it applies to even long haul and non-budget airlines, such as Virgin and BA. Had it happen when we flew with friends inc 3 young children to New York with VA. Our 7 seats were vaguely close together but not directly next to one anther as we had booked, so ended up having to split the children as they weren't allowed to sit alone together either.

And sometimes it is not possible to book your seat, especially if you book latish. Ha this with VA once for a long haul flight with DH and DD. We wanted to reserve our seats but couldn't. Apparently they only let a certain %age of seats be reserve din advance - had to wait til we checked in - which ended up with us split when we did it online and then sort it all out again when we got to the airport. I had already called them at the time of booking at at time of check in.

Hulababy · 06/02/2014 18:48

And yes -airlines do change the cards in pen if done at the gate rather than the check in desk ime.

AnyaKnowIt · 06/02/2014 18:50

zombie thread

nennypops · 06/02/2014 19:17

I get it that Monarch reserves the right to move you to put parents with children, but surely common sense demands that they put them into the same standard seats as they have paid for, not the premium seats, unless they have no alternative whatsoever? Have they explained why they didn't do that?

nennypops · 06/02/2014 19:22

Oops, didn't see that it was a zombie thread. However, perhaps this is an opportunity for the OP to tell us whether she got anywhere with Monarch?

Tabliope · 06/02/2014 19:50

I don't think you're being unreasonable. You researched specific seats and chose and paid for them. It wasn't just for the extra legroom so while they gave you like-for-like in that respect that wasn't the main criteria for you booking those specific seats. People have preferences for whatever reason, you shouldn't have to justify that. I'd write to someone high up relaying your experience. I would probably also mention there's a 14 page thread on MN about it and most agree you were treated shabbily. You shouldn't have to justify why you wanted those seats. You explained to the stewardess and completely ignored your problem of being a nervous flyer - being nervous can range from being a bit jittery to a full blown phobia that you could have ended up panicking about - why did she assume you were at the lower end of the scale and why the guilt trip about the captain being mad if they were late in getting off. Complain and tell the CEO or whoever that you want some reassurance this won't happen again.

Mimishimi · 06/02/2014 20:13

YANBU. I always try to prebook certain seats before flying too (three seats towards the back which have a bit of extra space next to them where I can stuff all the kids stuff, pillows, blankets etc. every now and then we get moved out of that seat and I am grumpy for the rest of the trip Blush

DandyDindie · 06/02/2014 20:28

OP YANBU if nothing else seating you by an emergency exit is not appropriate. As a nervous flier it's a H&S risk for everyone else on the plane. Re:the meal - if they'd managed to update the seating plan with the seat change and as you'd been reseated by cabin crew they were clearly aware of your meal order this is just poor customer service.
I'd send Monarch a link to this thread and complain to the CEO. I've managed to get compensation from easyjet before - it can be done!

Hulababy · 06/02/2014 20:41

So how on earth did that appear in my Active Conversations - only use MN that way in general, on laptop and app!

ChippingInWadesIn · 07/02/2014 00:34

Hulababy are you so very bored you need to drag up Zombie threads Grin

I read almost the whole thing until I got to a certain poster who I know has namechanged and I thought - hang on a bit....

Can I please send you a kick up the bum!

pixiepotter · 07/02/2014 08:18

ui am surprised that people are saying kids have to be seated with a parent because that absolutely is not my experience at all.DH and I ended up with 6 seats dotted all over the cabin for ourselves and our 4 children aged (then) between 12 and 3 yrs ols.Fortunmately someone offered to swap with me so I could sit next to the 3 yr ols, but the next youngest at 5 sat alone for 4 hours.

Hulababy · 07/02/2014 08:23

Chipping - no idea how it happened!!! I only use mn via active conversations!!! My laptop must have had a bit of a time warp somehow.