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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be so upset that a woman & her 2 children were given my (pre-booked online for an additional charge) plane seats?

361 replies

lalalady1971 · 10/08/2013 04:13

My DP and I flew to Cyprus last year on holidays. I'm a really nervous flyer but I get through it with mental preparation and don't want to let it stop me as we go away every year with my mum & dad, sister & husband and niece/nephew so it's a lovely get-together. (They live in different parts of the country so fly from different airports).

Part of my nerves-beating prep is pre-booking seats so I know exactly where we'll be sitting. I take a bit of time with this and look at the seats layout on the airline website, even down to the position of the window next to the seat so I'm definitely able to sit as calmly as possible without having to sit forward/twist my head backwards to see out (some seats have mainly plastic wall with the window further forward or back). This prob sounds very weird but part of it is extreme claustrophobia and being able to see outside/having a window really helps.

We paid a premium and pre-booked specific seats online, with extra legroom (my DP is 6ft 2) and a window seat with the window in the perfect position. All my mad requirements met so I felt ok! I also feel really self-conscious about my nervousness and sometimes retch a bit if I start feeling particularly anxious, so I like to be "cocooned" and safe in my window seat, hidden from others.

Soooo (sorry for such a long preamble!!), we get on the plane with our boarding passes and seat numbers (check-in acknowledged that we had booked our seats online already) only to find a woman and her 2 children (they looked about 8 & 10) sitting in our seats....with boarding cards with her original seat numbers scribbled out and our seats written on.

The stewardess approached and curtly asked what was the matter. I explained that there seemed to be some mistake as I'd pre-booked these seats. She went off to check and came back saying that someone had presumably gone through the seating plan at the gate and moved us as the woman had not pre-booked seats but needed to be seated with her children and the airline had to allow for that, so she had two new seat numbers for us.

I politely explained that I was a very nervous flyer and had specifically booked these seats (and paid extra for them!) so was there any way she could ask along the rows around if a different 3 people would mind moving as there were lots of gaps further down the plane but she said no, they'd updated the computer system at the gate so there was no way round it. (This made me feel even worse as I immediately thought, oh god it's so they know who's in which seat if the plane crashes and people die!!). At this point the woman in the seat stood up and said "Look, can't you see that I have children?! Obviously we need these seats more than you!", I was a bit taken-aback but said that I'd actually paid for these seats and if she was really that worried why didn't she pre-book seats so that they were guaranteed seats next to each other. She said she didn't need to, why on earth should she pay extra when she had children, the airline had to seat them together anyway. Followed by large amounts of smugness and smirking.

The stewardess then started tutting, saying the captain would go mad if we missed the take-off slot so we just needed to get into our seats. Oh god. Our new seats. It was my worst nightmare. She led us to the two seats halfway down the plane right next to the large exit doors. No window, just a door to my right with multiple emergency signs (and a bloody key in it with a massive red label on it saying "REMOVE AFTER TAKE-OFF" which stayed in for the whole flight!! (I was too mortified to ask anyone if it should really still be in the lock during the flight!). No seats in front of us so I felt massively exposed (and no seat-back for my crash position!!!), just a big gap then the next row. (Couldn't fault the leg-room though!). Plus a weird gap to my right as the two seats were slightly off-set so the window seat behind me had a bit of a half-gap in front of it. Through this gap, every 10 minutes or so, came a small child belonging to the couple sitting behind us. But the gap was a bit tight so the little girl was grabbing onto my arm-rest/arm to haul herself through, stepping on our feet as she came cackling past and grabbing my DP's knee to fling herself round the corner back into her parents' row. After an hour of this I turned to the couple and said "I'm sorry to be a pain but it's actually really annoying, d'you mind stopping her doing this" and they just looked at me (through the 20 mini wine bottles) and said it was keeping her quiet and it was a long flight for a little child so no, they couldn't.

Arghhh!! Dreadful experience. I felt really exposed and really anxious for the whole flight. Just horrible.

On a final note, the stewardess delivered my DP's pre-booked/paid meal to our original seats and the bloody woman took it and ate it!! My DP enquired as to where his meal was and, after 10 mins of him explaining what had happened with the seats (different stewardess!) she said she'd taken his meal to the original seat and it was accepted! She agreed to bring him a meal, but it had to be the vegetarian option now as they'd run out of standard meals...I was sorely tempted to say something to the woman at the baggage travelator thingy at the other end but by that point I was a bit of a wreck and couldn't be arsed with anything other than a large glass of wine!! (And she was still throwing the smug smirks my way so I didn't want to give her the satisfaction of showing I was bothered...)

I emailed Monarch when we got home and received a template email back saying, basically, tough shit, read the small print, we have the right to move you, this woman had children!! Yep, sorry about the meal but it's easily done as meals are allocated to seat numbers, not names and we have the right to change your meal, that's on the small print too.

We had a lovely holiday but we're off again in October to Turkey, again with Monarch (limited airline choice for date/time from our airport) and I'm utterly paranoid that this may happen again. Wonder if I should email Monarch in advance....or am I just over-reacting and being unreasonable??!

(And finaaaaally! I was pretty upset at that woman. I like to think if that were me I'd at least acknowledge the unfairness of the situation and say to the stewardess to be fair she has pre-booked and paid extra for these seats and is a nervous flyer, couldn't you just ask along the rows if anyone else would be happy to change seats? Or AIBU??!)

I'm a pretty confident, happy-go-lucky person in real life, it's just flying that turns me into a nervous wreck....maybe I just need to grow a pair!!

OP posts:
Roshbegosh · 10/08/2013 06:14

That's a good point sanity why would Monarch crew move someone so nervous into that row when in an emergency they might be more likely than the rest of us to freak out?

CatsWearingTutus · 10/08/2013 06:18

How about hypnotherapy? Roberta Shapiro has a cd that covers fear of flying and she's very good. My DH did in-person hypnotherapy for his fear of flying and claustrophobia and it worked wonders for him.

YANBU and if I were you I would take this further, writing to the airline and even possibly the press.

Justforlaughs · 10/08/2013 06:20

If you do write to the press, you can tell them that "the power that is Mumsnet" support the right of the person who paid for the seat over that of the entitled mother! Wink

birdmomma · 10/08/2013 06:29

Yeah, why is it that ALL of life's weirdos end up on the same plane as me each time?

lalalady1971 · 10/08/2013 06:30

Kickass, yes I did pay extra for my original seats and I could have selected those exit seats we were moved to for the same additional cost but didn't as I wanted a window and a seat back in front of me.

We did have some UK family hols plus Brittany to start with as my family are all aware of my flying nerves but it rained so much I insisted they should ignore me and we should go abroad for a bit of guaranteed sun! And I won't let it stop me going, I just felt despite paying extra I got a bit of a rough deal and was dealt with by a pretty curt stewardess who was totally disinterested in how I felt.

Maybe the seat change wouldn't bother some people, though if you'd wanted a window you'd maybe be a bit pissed off with a big door instead! But I did find it frustrating that whoever did the reshuffling of seats didn't take a bit of time and brainpower to make use of the gaps further down the plane where people hadn't paid extra to make sure they reserved a seat they preferred. Those exit seats we were moved to were available on the day of the flight and when I was selecting online but I didn't choose them, I chose my original seats and was willing to pay more than some others on the plane to sit there. But someone tapping away to quickly seat three people together doesn't care about that or consider it, she just wants to get it done as easily as possible so looks for the first couple to move.

She got my window, she got extra legroom x 3 and she got my DP's dinner! She did pretty well out of it!! Grin

OP posts:
FrancesDeLaTourCoughngIntoABin · 10/08/2013 06:38

YANBU, sounds crap of the airline and the mother was a bitch

lalalady1971 · 10/08/2013 06:40

Ooh I may try that CD thankyou! I have a few books which have really helped. Can't face meds, would feel too out of control and be worse!!

You're right, why would they put me there when I said I was a nervous flyer, and leave that bloody key in the door with the big red label on it saying REMOVE AFTER TAKE-OFF!! I could've freaked out and unlocked it!! TBH I think she thought I was making it up to keep the seats, either that or she was scared of the mother and thought fuck it, shove her there anyway, she's the lesser of two evils!

Thanks for all your lovely support! Smile

OP posts:
CatsWearingTutus · 10/08/2013 06:41

Crap airline indeed. I'm happy to boycott Monarch until you get an apology, OP! Also have you considered asking your GP to write you a letter you can carry with you saying you're not to be moved from your seats you booked?

CatsWearingTutus · 10/08/2013 06:45

Oh and definitely do try the cd. Here is a link to it on the us amazon site so you can read the reviews but you can purchase it on the uk site, either in mp3 or cd form. www.amazon.com/Collection-Goodbye-situations-confrontations-relationships-everything/dp/B009DNHKJY

lalalady1971 · 10/08/2013 06:46

Gosh Cats, that's a good idea, my GP is lovely and has offered meds before so would prob be fine with that. I could scan it and send to Monarch in advance! Smile

OP posts:
exoticfruits · 10/08/2013 06:47

Sounds a brilliant solution lala. Smile

lastnightiwenttomanderleyagain · 10/08/2013 06:52

Just a thought....(and agree that YANBU and Monarch handled it appallingly)...but do you think there's a chance that smug lady might have booked the exit seats you ended up with and they only realised when she got to the gate? Seems odd that they were still free for you to be moved into so a part of me wonders whether she was daft enough to think she"d get away with it despite all the notices and bits you have to tick to confirm that over 16 etc...

That's the only logical explanation I can think.of as to why they kept them in premium seats.

MrsCampbellBlack · 10/08/2013 06:52

I'm quite surprised by this to be honest. There have been some very lengthy threads on here over the last few months about how children don't necessarily get seated with their parents on flights unless pre-booked. And especially not at the age of 8 and 10.

MrsCampbellBlack · 10/08/2013 06:54

Sorry meant to add so I think you were just very very unlucky.

lalalady1971 · 10/08/2013 07:02

It does seem weird lastnight, but from what I remember I think there were only two seats there because of that weird offset gap so maybe not as she needed three.

We were only about the fourth row back so I think someone looked on the seating plan on the computer and started at the first row, working back, looking for three seats together. Saw us two, in premium, free aisle seat next to us, quick check, ah, two premium exit row seats also free so we don't have to refund, let's move em! Not ah, two premium exit row seats free, but wait, they could have equally chosen them and they didn't, maybe they wanted a window, and to be fair they've paid extra, never mind, let's keep searching!! Grin

OP posts:
Justforlaughs · 10/08/2013 07:04

Good point lastnight
MrsCambellblack their online policy states clearly than children under the age of 16 must be seated by an accompanying adult - probably to avoid situations like the child running around Confused

lalalady1971 · 10/08/2013 07:05

Thanks MrsCampbell, I'm not sure but think someone further back said Monarch's policy is to seat under-16s with parents?

OP posts:
ourlittlestreet · 10/08/2013 07:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Kafri · 10/08/2013 07:07

I'm gonna get flamed play devils advocate and say that while your experience was crap, the airline kind of fulfilled your order - you paid for extra leg room seats and you got extra leg room seats.

Yes, you happened to have to give your chosen seats to a rather ungrateful cow so for that I sympathise.

Are airlines supposed to draw straws for passengers? 'Well, she needs that seat for A and he needs that seat for B and they need that seat cos of C'

At the end of the day, as far as the airline is concerned - the mother got to sit with her kids, you got your premium seats (albeit not the ones you WANTED). In not excusing it, but there is no way a massive airline could possibly plan ad light so that each and every passenger got what they WANTED.

I'm sorry, I'm not sure if I'm getting my point across, it's not meant harshly and I do have every sympathy for you and your phobia.

I guess in an roundabout way I'm saying, you paid for premium seats and you got them. You paid for extra leg room seats and you got them. You didn't pay for 'nervous flyer, needs a window in the right place' seats' (again, that's not a criticism - in not the best flyer and prefer a good window).

I'm gonna give up now cos I have no idea to say what I want without it sounding mean which I really don't mean it to be mean!!!x

MrsCampbellBlack · 10/08/2013 07:09

You see now all mn'ers are going to flock to book with monarch so they do get guaranteed seats next to their children for no extra money Wink

I think the airlines are to blame for all this stuff. I mean it seems obvious to me that small children need to be near a parent but then they shouldn't charge people to pre-book seats if they're not guaranteed. Greedy greedy airlines.

DameDeepRedBetty · 10/08/2013 07:09

We've just come back from Lanzarote via Ryanair. And to my utter amazement, the experience was absolutely fine! The staff we came into contact with both at the airports and in the air were without exception friendly and helpful.

OP Monarch have treated you disgracefully, I hope you will email the CEO as suggested upthread and make sure they're aware of the consequences of that one act of thoughtlessness when the check-in desk staff forgot that the rows with extra legroom would most likely have been booked by people who specifically needed it and would have paid a premium for the privilege. They could actually improve the image of the seating plan on screen so that staff have a visual clue to remind them which seats are available to be fiddled with and which should only be moved about in a genuine dire emergency (i.e physical disability, not slack parent too tight to prebook seats for herself and her kids)

FrancesDeLaTourCoughngIntoABin · 10/08/2013 07:09

But is the payment not for choose your own seats?
Well obviously not, but in that case why do the airline let you select the seats? They'd be better off allowing you to pay for premium seats and making no promises as to where these would be

Hopingforno2 · 10/08/2013 07:09

Yanbu tbh I think its really crappy of a company to accept money for pre booking seats then be able to change that! I dont fly often but surely they know all passengers details in advance and if its their policy to seat children with an adult either ensure this is done at booking or plan unreserved seats accordingly? Like I said I dont often fly so mayabe they cant.the mother sounds like a pita!

DameDeepRedBetty · 10/08/2013 07:11

xposted with about a million people. What are we all doing up so early!

MrsCampbellBlack · 10/08/2013 07:13

Did anyone see the documentary recently about easyjet and ryanair? It was very interesting. Basically the profit margins on flights is sooo low that they have to charge for every little extra to make money - hence paying for your seats etc.

I travel with my 3 dc's and would always pre-book to get seats together - I mean who wants to end up sat next to someone else's unaccompanied small child?