To be so upset that a woman & her 2 children were given my (pre-booked online for an additional charge) plane seats?

[lalalady1971]

My DP and I flew to Cyprus last year on holidays. I'm a really nervous flyer but I get through it with mental preparation and don't want to let it stop me as we go away every year with my mum & dad, sister & husband and niece/nephew so it's a lovely get-together. (They live in different parts of the country so fly from different airports).

Part of my nerves-beating prep is pre-booking seats so I know exactly where we'll be sitting. I take a bit of time with this and look at the seats layout on the airline website, even down to the position of the window next to the seat so I'm definitely able to sit as calmly as possible without having to sit forward/twist my head backwards to see out (some seats have mainly plastic wall with the window further forward or back). This prob sounds very weird but part of it is extreme claustrophobia and being able to see outside/having a window really helps.

We paid a premium and pre-booked specific seats online, with extra legroom (my DP is 6ft 2) and a window seat with the window in the perfect position. All my mad requirements met so I felt ok! I also feel really self-conscious about my nervousness and sometimes retch a bit if I start feeling particularly anxious, so I like to be "cocooned" and safe in my window seat, hidden from others.

Soooo (sorry for such a long preamble!!), we get on the plane with our boarding passes and seat numbers (check-in acknowledged that we had booked our seats online already) only to find a woman and her 2 children (they looked about 8 & 10) sitting in our seats....with boarding cards with her original seat numbers scribbled out and our seats written on.

The stewardess approached and curtly asked what was the matter. I explained that there seemed to be some mistake as I'd pre-booked these seats. She went off to check and came back saying that someone had presumably gone through the seating plan at the gate and moved us as the woman had not pre-booked seats but needed to be seated with her children and the airline had to allow for that, so she had two new seat numbers for us.

I politely explained that I was a very nervous flyer and had specifically booked these seats (and paid extra for them!) so was there any way she could ask along the rows around if a different 3 people would mind moving as there were lots of gaps further down the plane but she said no, they'd updated the computer system at the gate so there was no way round it. (This made me feel even worse as I immediately thought, oh god it's so they know who's in which seat if the plane crashes and people die!!). At this point the woman in the seat stood up and said "Look, can't you see that I have children?! Obviously we need these seats more than you!", I was a bit taken-aback but said that I'd actually paid for these seats and if she was really that worried why didn't she pre-book seats so that they were guaranteed seats next to each other. She said she didn't need to, why on earth should she pay extra when she had children, the airline had to seat them together anyway. Followed by large amounts of smugness and smirking.

The stewardess then started tutting, saying the captain would go mad if we missed the take-off slot so we just needed to get into our seats. Oh god. Our new seats. It was my worst nightmare. She led us to the two seats halfway down the plane right next to the large exit doors. No window, just a door to my right with multiple emergency signs (and a bloody key in it with a massive red label on it saying "REMOVE AFTER TAKE-OFF" which stayed in for the whole flight!! (I was too mortified to ask anyone if it should really still be in the lock during the flight!). No seats in front of us so I felt massively exposed (and no seat-back for my crash position!!!), just a big gap then the next row. (Couldn't fault the leg-room though!). Plus a weird gap to my right as the two seats were slightly off-set so the window seat behind me had a bit of a half-gap in front of it. Through this gap, every 10 minutes or so, came a small child belonging to the couple sitting behind us. But the gap was a bit tight so the little girl was grabbing onto my arm-rest/arm to haul herself through, stepping on our feet as she came cackling past and grabbing my DP's knee to fling herself round the corner back into her parents' row. After an hour of this I turned to the couple and said "I'm sorry to be a pain but it's actually really annoying, d'you mind stopping her doing this" and they just looked at me (through the 20 mini wine bottles) and said it was keeping her quiet and it was a long flight for a little child so no, they couldn't.

Arghhh!! Dreadful experience. I felt really exposed and really anxious for the whole flight. Just horrible.

On a final note, the stewardess delivered my DP's pre-booked/paid meal to our original seats and the bloody woman took it and ate it!! My DP enquired as to where his meal was and, after 10 mins of him explaining what had happened with the seats (different stewardess!) she said she'd taken his meal to the original seat and it was accepted! She agreed to bring him a meal, but it had to be the vegetarian option now as they'd run out of standard meals...I was sorely tempted to say something to the woman at the baggage travelator thingy at the other end but by that point I was a bit of a wreck and couldn't be arsed with anything other than a large glass of wine!! (And she was still throwing the smug smirks my way so I didn't want to give her the satisfaction of showing I was bothered...)

I emailed Monarch when we got home and received a template email back saying, basically, tough shit, read the small print, we have the right to move you, this woman had children!! Yep, sorry about the meal but it's easily done as meals are allocated to seat numbers, not names and we have the right to change your meal, that's on the small print too.

We had a lovely holiday but we're off again in October to Turkey, again with Monarch (limited airline choice for date/time from our airport) and I'm utterly paranoid that this may happen again. Wonder if I should email Monarch in advance....or am I just over-reacting and being unreasonable??!

(And finaaaaally! I was pretty upset at that woman. I like to think if that were me I'd at least acknowledge the unfairness of the situation and say to the stewardess to be fair she has pre-booked and paid extra for these seats and is a nervous flyer, couldn't you just ask along the rows if anyone else would be happy to change seats? Or AIBU??!)

I'm a pretty confident, happy-go-lucky person in real life, it's just flying that turns me into a nervous wreck....maybe I just need to grow a pair!!

not wet to want to sit together but wet if it would upset them to have to move.

It wouldn't have upset them to move because they wouldn't have moved. They paid to sit together. They are 18 and didn't want to sit next to a toddler on a 4 hour flight.

Why are you calling them wet and no one else who has said they pay to sit together and wouldn't move? I'd actually love you to call DS1 wet to his face, he has such a way with words he'd leave you with your mouth flapping open and closed like a flipping goldfish!

If it is that important that you sit with your kids, then pay, don't expect those who have paid to shunt around then plane to accomadate you.

so they would refuse to move no matter what? you know the airline has the last word on this or their sorry wet asses could be booted off.

Why are you calling them wet BlingBang? Why are you not saying that every other poster on this thread who has said they would not move are wet? Why are you being offensive to a group of 18yo well behaved young men? Why call them names?

Yes, the airline has the last word on it which is why they say that in their small print that I C&P'ed ^ up there that they would try to sit kids with their parents, but it was not always possible if they had not prebooked! So it would not necessarily be DS1 and his friends who would not have been allowed to fly!

Surely being "wet" would be giving in first time, not holding your ground.

If i pay extra to sit with my party ( which i allways do) im not moving for someone who hadn't.i know some airlines now pit it in their t&c that they will try to sit families together but that they class sitting in same aisle as together

littkemiss my ds went on holiday with a bunch of mates, one of them died whilst there, it would have been awful for them to be separated on the return journey as they were in absolute pieces and only 17. Awful.
I still don't get why seats are not allocated as you book like theatre tickets?

ledkr How awful for them all. I'm really, really sorry.

I too am not a nervous flyer, I love flying, but you were treated badly. And the standard email response is just evening insulting.take it further. Ask for your complaint to be escalated.

no the women shouldn't have accepted the meal. That is terrible and the airline should have had the sense to check first. she sounds really dishonest and selfish and out for all she can get at the expense of others.

I think it is fine if the 18 year old boys wanted to sit together and had pre booked. They shouldn't have to move.

sometimes airlines have to change things round. e.g. some seats weren't working on our flight for instance.

Another one who didn't read my post properly but decides to have a go anyway... sigh

Now, NOT listening (or reading) is what's wrong with this country I think, not people having children....

Wow. Some people are very self entitled. If she has issues with parents wanting to be seated with their children having to pay extra, that's fair enough. But she should raise it with the airline, not swipe pre booked seats from someone who has paid extra for them and then basically tell them 'tough'.
I feel sorry for kids with an arrogant mother like that. They will either grow up just like her or really disliking her. Neither is an ideal scenario.

OP you are absolutely NBU and this thread proves beyond a doubt that there will always be people on mumsnet willingly to back up and support the most awful, inexcusable behaviour. You acted properly. The airline messed up and owe you a massive apology. And the woman in your seat was a conplete and utter arse.

OP you are absolutely right, you should not have been moved. I, like you am a nervous flyer. I would have been in tears and stood my ground. I have often been split up from my children on flights it is awful but you had paid specially for them and the steward should have moved someone else. There are often a lot of people who don't care where they sit. I think compensation from Monarch is due. Good luck.

When the stewardess mentioned the pilot and missing get the slot.... I'd have said...tell him he will miss the slot unless you move this woman and her children from my seats.

I do think care where you put them but these seats are taken.

Change the computer again, because this arrangement isn't suitable.

Why should she get preferential treatment over you?

I've pre booked my seats for my on Tuesday, it's doubly important not to assume if you are flying with kids that you'll get seated together. None of my young children would want to sit with a stranger and I doubt the stranger would be too pleased either but it's my responsibility to make sure this doesn't happen

What ? 'Ilovesooty' ......I object to that nickname !!!!!!!! No idea why my post was deleted btw

As I recall it was a racist and therefore offensive comment caloprene

Has no one else noticed that Lala's flight was last year.
Why would Monarch be intetrested in her complaining at least 8 months later?

littlemiss - your son and his friends have every right to want to sit together, especially if they have paid for it. still think they sound a bit wet, if my sons are 18 and travelling with friends - i'd rather they would offer to change to help a family with young children out rather than feel they have to sit with friends no matter what. and yes i would change to help someone out who i felt needed the seat more than me if i wasn't travelling with my children.

I noticed it timeofchange. It's an interesting thread but I am wondering why (childless) OP decided to post it in mumsnet a year after it happened.

Nerfmother you're absolutely right, my comments were glib and inappropriate about the airline tourettes chap, especially as I came on here to talk about my own mental health anxiety issues related to flying. I think I was trying to be humorous and light-hearted but it wasn't appropriate and I do apologise.

Obviously the flight was last year and I did complain at the time and receive a standard reply so wasn't really posting here with the intention of starting up a further complaints process after so long, it was more whether or not it'd be worth getting in touch with the company before our holiday in October this year to see if they take into account that someone's a nervous flyer and at least see if they could avoid seat changes for that person where possible (and obviously to have an utterly self-indulgent rant!!). As I said previously, I think a letter to the airline is worth a try, after all I suppose if they're not aware of a problem they can't help.

Having read all the posts, I do think it's the airline's fault at the end of the day, with a system that allows some to book seats and promises others they don't need to....making the chances high of having to shift people who've pre-booked on a plane with a lot of families who haven't reserved and a lot of pre-bookers.

Ho hum, thanks again for all your support and messages!

I can't get over the entitlement of some people! If a group of young men are going on holiday together and actually pay to book their seats why on earth should they be told they must move because a woman with children didn't want to pay extra and book? If I go on holiday with someone I expect to sit next to them, especially if I have paid to do so, I don't expect a woman to arrive saying 'I'm not paying extra, you have to let me sit next to my child regardless and all you who have paid it is tough luck!'

This thread has made me bloody minded. If anyone does it to me I shall tell them that they can leave their child next to me and go and sit elsewhere-I will look after them and am fully qualified to do so and am CRB checked-but I am NOT moving.

And 8 months later is not too late to write the letter.