To be so upset that a woman & her 2 children were given my (pre-booked online for an additional charge) plane seats?

[lalalady1971]

My DP and I flew to Cyprus last year on holidays. I'm a really nervous flyer but I get through it with mental preparation and don't want to let it stop me as we go away every year with my mum & dad, sister & husband and niece/nephew so it's a lovely get-together. (They live in different parts of the country so fly from different airports).

Part of my nerves-beating prep is pre-booking seats so I know exactly where we'll be sitting. I take a bit of time with this and look at the seats layout on the airline website, even down to the position of the window next to the seat so I'm definitely able to sit as calmly as possible without having to sit forward/twist my head backwards to see out (some seats have mainly plastic wall with the window further forward or back). This prob sounds very weird but part of it is extreme claustrophobia and being able to see outside/having a window really helps.

We paid a premium and pre-booked specific seats online, with extra legroom (my DP is 6ft 2) and a window seat with the window in the perfect position. All my mad requirements met so I felt ok! I also feel really self-conscious about my nervousness and sometimes retch a bit if I start feeling particularly anxious, so I like to be "cocooned" and safe in my window seat, hidden from others.

Soooo (sorry for such a long preamble!!), we get on the plane with our boarding passes and seat numbers (check-in acknowledged that we had booked our seats online already) only to find a woman and her 2 children (they looked about 8 & 10) sitting in our seats....with boarding cards with her original seat numbers scribbled out and our seats written on.

The stewardess approached and curtly asked what was the matter. I explained that there seemed to be some mistake as I'd pre-booked these seats. She went off to check and came back saying that someone had presumably gone through the seating plan at the gate and moved us as the woman had not pre-booked seats but needed to be seated with her children and the airline had to allow for that, so she had two new seat numbers for us.

I politely explained that I was a very nervous flyer and had specifically booked these seats (and paid extra for them!) so was there any way she could ask along the rows around if a different 3 people would mind moving as there were lots of gaps further down the plane but she said no, they'd updated the computer system at the gate so there was no way round it. (This made me feel even worse as I immediately thought, oh god it's so they know who's in which seat if the plane crashes and people die!!). At this point the woman in the seat stood up and said "Look, can't you see that I have children?! Obviously we need these seats more than you!", I was a bit taken-aback but said that I'd actually paid for these seats and if she was really that worried why didn't she pre-book seats so that they were guaranteed seats next to each other. She said she didn't need to, why on earth should she pay extra when she had children, the airline had to seat them together anyway. Followed by large amounts of smugness and smirking.

The stewardess then started tutting, saying the captain would go mad if we missed the take-off slot so we just needed to get into our seats. Oh god. Our new seats. It was my worst nightmare. She led us to the two seats halfway down the plane right next to the large exit doors. No window, just a door to my right with multiple emergency signs (and a bloody key in it with a massive red label on it saying "REMOVE AFTER TAKE-OFF" which stayed in for the whole flight!! (I was too mortified to ask anyone if it should really still be in the lock during the flight!). No seats in front of us so I felt massively exposed (and no seat-back for my crash position!!!), just a big gap then the next row. (Couldn't fault the leg-room though!). Plus a weird gap to my right as the two seats were slightly off-set so the window seat behind me had a bit of a half-gap in front of it. Through this gap, every 10 minutes or so, came a small child belonging to the couple sitting behind us. But the gap was a bit tight so the little girl was grabbing onto my arm-rest/arm to haul herself through, stepping on our feet as she came cackling past and grabbing my DP's knee to fling herself round the corner back into her parents' row. After an hour of this I turned to the couple and said "I'm sorry to be a pain but it's actually really annoying, d'you mind stopping her doing this" and they just looked at me (through the 20 mini wine bottles) and said it was keeping her quiet and it was a long flight for a little child so no, they couldn't.

Arghhh!! Dreadful experience. I felt really exposed and really anxious for the whole flight. Just horrible.

On a final note, the stewardess delivered my DP's pre-booked/paid meal to our original seats and the bloody woman took it and ate it!! My DP enquired as to where his meal was and, after 10 mins of him explaining what had happened with the seats (different stewardess!) she said she'd taken his meal to the original seat and it was accepted! She agreed to bring him a meal, but it had to be the vegetarian option now as they'd run out of standard meals...I was sorely tempted to say something to the woman at the baggage travelator thingy at the other end but by that point I was a bit of a wreck and couldn't be arsed with anything other than a large glass of wine!! (And she was still throwing the smug smirks my way so I didn't want to give her the satisfaction of showing I was bothered...)

I emailed Monarch when we got home and received a template email back saying, basically, tough shit, read the small print, we have the right to move you, this woman had children!! Yep, sorry about the meal but it's easily done as meals are allocated to seat numbers, not names and we have the right to change your meal, that's on the small print too.

We had a lovely holiday but we're off again in October to Turkey, again with Monarch (limited airline choice for date/time from our airport) and I'm utterly paranoid that this may happen again. Wonder if I should email Monarch in advance....or am I just over-reacting and being unreasonable??!

(And finaaaaally! I was pretty upset at that woman. I like to think if that were me I'd at least acknowledge the unfairness of the situation and say to the stewardess to be fair she has pre-booked and paid extra for these seats and is a nervous flyer, couldn't you just ask along the rows if anyone else would be happy to change seats? Or AIBU??!)

I'm a pretty confident, happy-go-lucky person in real life, it's just flying that turns me into a nervous wreck....maybe I just need to grow a pair!!

You see exotic you are nicer than me. As I've said before, I really don't want to be in charge of anyone else's children on a flight.

I reckon easyjet will further increase their profits now they do pre-booking of seats - just so much more civilised

I don't want to look after them either Mrs CB but I would do it just to call their bluff!

I don't understand the reference to easyjet-have they changed? I flew with them in May and paid to choose a seat.

She was completely and unnecessarily rude. But I wouldn't have pre booked if the terms and conditions stated they would seat me and my children together regardless. I do prebook when that isn't the case though.
I think for safety reasons children should be sat with a parent by law but they need to sort that at booking. I imagine whether they charge for it or not would be a commercial decision depending on how much business they get from families. Tbf children are cheap(er) passengers because they tend to weigh less than adults but still have to pay full fare so they might choose to waive the booking fee to attract families.

Really Calopene, no idea?? Look at the responses to your deleted comment and all may become clear

I booked some ej flights recently and sure I just had to select seats as standard, I think they've changed now to all allocated seats as they realised the scrum to get on board was very stressful. I guess it differentiates them from other budget airlines.

Firstly, YANBU.

I used to work for a major international airline. Here is what I think happened:

You pre booked seats, all well and good.

The other passenger and children did not pre book their seats. (Personally, this is a waste of time anyway, as an airline has to sit children with at least one of the adults they're flying with due to health and safety - ie putting on oxygen masks and life jackets).

At the gate, someone thought, whoops, we've made a mistake here. There's a mum separated from her children. Let's swap her seat with someone else.

You happened to be the people that got swapped. I doubt that any great thought went into it - if things were rushed, I imagine said gate person just randomly picked someone and didn't look at any further details within your booking.

The seats you were allocated, by the emergency exit, are actually pretty good ones, with extra leg room, and to the airline, they would have been equivalent in 'value' to the ones you had pre booked. However, this wasn't the case for you.

Upon needing to change your seat, Monarch should have put out an announcement and called you to the desk in order to explain the change to you. This definitely shouldn't have been left for the on board staff to deal with.

The staff on board should have been more responsive when you tried to explain the situation to them - though they probably didn't realise this was the first you'd heard about the switch as anything like this should be dealt with by the ground staff team.

The cabin crew member who told you that the 'captain would go mad' was highly unprofessional. All airlines attribute delay codes to their respective departments when a delay is caused and in this case, this delay would have been traced back to the seats not having been allocated effectively - including last minute alterations - on the ground. Incidentally, a scribbled out boarding card should never be given to a passenger - reprints are easy to do and avoid confusion.

Ultimately, you paid for a service you didn't get. I'm not entirely sure of the Monarch rules and regulations at the time you made your booking - but if you've paid for a service and not received it, you should be able to claim back the cost of said service. Yes, the airline retains the right to move you due to operational reasons - but not bad organisation and mistakes! Whatever extra you paid in pre booking fees should have been reimbursed.

The woman who 'took' your seat just sounds daft - and it sort of wasn't her fault that the airline put her where they did. Not nice to be all smirky about it though.

Conclusion: Monarch are rubbish! They've got a bad reputation in the airline industry and this illustrates precisely why. Vote with your feet and don't fly with them again.

I agree that the woman who took your seats sounds horrific. She should have at least apologised to you and as for taking your dinner that is just obscenely rude.
As a family we do not generally book seats. We are already on a tight budget and that just adds to it. We do try to get there within plenty of time so it is easy access but often this is limited by the check in desk. With the budget airlines I have found that they are very inconvenient for travelling with small children I.e. no lift access for buggies, no help getting up the steps, a long way to walk to get to the gate and from the gate to the plane. Part of me really resents having to pay extra to guarantee we get seats together as we can't negotiate the scrummage as easily as someone with no children.

Wibbly would you agree that the manifest shouldn't have been printed until the gate had closed, and that the meal should have been assigned to OP at that point, not her former seat?

I think something fishy has happened - sorting meals off a provisional manifest is just dumb; assigning meals to provisional seating plans is barking.

Huge thanks Wibbly, that sounds like exactly what will have happened, and it's a shame that they didn't do the call at the gate as you described as that would maybe have given me the chance to explain and see if they could try another reshuffle.

If you don't mind I'll use some of your info in my letter, especially the bit about advance notice and what a difference it would have made if they'd followed the standard guidelines and let me know before boarding!

Last time I flew with EJ I went for Speedy Boarding but there didn't seem to be an option to book seats, though posters are saying that's now changed. I wasn't aware of that, but it's a better option for me in future, so thanks for the info.

EJ changed their policy in 2012 because they realised boarding was a source of stress (I've paraphrased their website).

So when we flew in July we picked allocated seats which cost about £6 each way per seat.

I suppose you don't have to pay, which means you just get on and sit wherever but I can tell you that compared to the last time I flew with them in 2008, this years flight was incredibly civilised. I think EJ have nailed it-they have driven down their costs but added just the right amount of service.

Aside from no in-flight meal and comp drinks there was no material difference to our usual BA flight. EJ even "averaged" our baggage weight across our 3 suitcases which were a shade out either way of the 20kg.

I would have no hesitation in using them again.

Sorry, YABU.

Do you really think that a mother should have to pay extra to sit next to her children on a plane? You sound
a) like you have a lot of issues, which are basically your problem, since you are an adult
b) like you want to blame someone for your anxiety - two families who were not responsible for the fear you experienced
c) extremely unempathetic towards people with kids
d) extremely judgey - so what if two adults were drinking wine on an aeroplane, on their holiday? (perhaps they were self-medicating their own fear of flying)
e) to be frank, like you have made up or distorted some of the details
f) possibly motivated by snobbery?
g) like you antagonized and probably tried to intimidate the woman sitting in 'your' seat, which is probably why she was unsympathetic
h) unable to distinguish between a legitimate grievance towards the company which sold you the pre-booked seat, who should at a minimum have refunded you, and the totally unjustified hostility you expressed towards the other passengers and the stewardess
i) like you have a massive sense of entitlement.

I would ask if this is a reverse AIBU, but I don't think anyone could make you up. I don't know what you were seeking to achieve by posting this a year on, but you could better spend your energy getting help for yourself.

a.) I have no words about the above post.
b.) Oh wait, I do....LOL!

I could be totally wrong here, and this could be completely impossible (forgive me if so, I haven't flown in 10 years, and I didn't even book that holiday, just paid my share)
BUT
Is it possible that the other woman changed the tickets herself? Could she have got on the plane, decided she wanted those seats, whipped out a pen andc lied?

It sounds unlikely. But maybe?

McAvity, to paraphrase your point c above: you seem extremely unempathetic towards people with genuine mental health issues, which is what phobias are.

I hope you never suffer from severe anxiety or the guilt caused by the fact that you can't magic it away even though, to reference your first point, you're an adult and it's 'basically your problem.'

McAvity in the nicest way RTFT.

OP hasn't at any point said that parents and kids should not be seated together.

Her grievance is totally with the airline.

Ineed I don't think that's too much of a leap TBH

I think you can begin to see the problem with views like McAvity who appears to be the one with 'issues'.

I can understand your position if you've paid extra money/specifically booked the seats. I can also understand a parent wanting to be sat with her children.

I don't think the other lady should be blamed for eating the wrong meal. The air hostess knew there had been a bit of a fiasco with the seats and should have re-directed the meal.

Ultimately I think this is the airline's fault for taking your money, then re-allocating the seats but then getting the food order wrong too.

Pay the money or use another airline. McAvity you are a nutter, really, I can't be arsed to respond point by point as this has got boring, but you are far more in need of help than OP.

INeed DH said that yesterday. He works in the industry and says it's inconceivable that they wouldn't have reprinted the boarding passes at the gate.

OP, which airport did/do you fly out of, by the way?

I think McAvity was probably the Mum sitting in your seat who ate your DP's dinner...

Sounds very unpleasant situation. 8 and 10 year olds can sit on their own, I went on a flight on my own when I was 7.

Anyway, Customer Services are not the way forward, go straight to the top.

The contact details and email address for the CEO of Monarch are here

I think McAvity was probably the Mum sitting in your seat who ate your DP's dinner...

Agreed. Or perhaps trying out a new wooden spoon.

also OP said that the meals were extra not everyone had ordered them so the women may not have even orsered and paid for a meal. if this isnthe case then it is very bad form

Lala - you're welcome.

Horry - the meal thing does sound strange. If the final manifest had been accurate then the meal would have been delivered to the OP in her new seat as her meal would have been linked to her booking. There wouldn't have been any mixup.

So - Ineed - your theory could well be correct. But this worries me as if the staff on board believed the seats written on the boarding card to be correct, then this isn't the first time this has happened...

I have only ever seen written boarding cards on a flight leaving the UK when there's been a system error and everything has gone to 'manual' - happened once in 8 years that I can recall?

McAvity -is your post a wind-up?