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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be so upset that a woman & her 2 children were given my (pre-booked online for an additional charge) plane seats?

361 replies

lalalady1971 · 10/08/2013 04:13

My DP and I flew to Cyprus last year on holidays. I'm a really nervous flyer but I get through it with mental preparation and don't want to let it stop me as we go away every year with my mum & dad, sister & husband and niece/nephew so it's a lovely get-together. (They live in different parts of the country so fly from different airports).

Part of my nerves-beating prep is pre-booking seats so I know exactly where we'll be sitting. I take a bit of time with this and look at the seats layout on the airline website, even down to the position of the window next to the seat so I'm definitely able to sit as calmly as possible without having to sit forward/twist my head backwards to see out (some seats have mainly plastic wall with the window further forward or back). This prob sounds very weird but part of it is extreme claustrophobia and being able to see outside/having a window really helps.

We paid a premium and pre-booked specific seats online, with extra legroom (my DP is 6ft 2) and a window seat with the window in the perfect position. All my mad requirements met so I felt ok! I also feel really self-conscious about my nervousness and sometimes retch a bit if I start feeling particularly anxious, so I like to be "cocooned" and safe in my window seat, hidden from others.

Soooo (sorry for such a long preamble!!), we get on the plane with our boarding passes and seat numbers (check-in acknowledged that we had booked our seats online already) only to find a woman and her 2 children (they looked about 8 & 10) sitting in our seats....with boarding cards with her original seat numbers scribbled out and our seats written on.

The stewardess approached and curtly asked what was the matter. I explained that there seemed to be some mistake as I'd pre-booked these seats. She went off to check and came back saying that someone had presumably gone through the seating plan at the gate and moved us as the woman had not pre-booked seats but needed to be seated with her children and the airline had to allow for that, so she had two new seat numbers for us.

I politely explained that I was a very nervous flyer and had specifically booked these seats (and paid extra for them!) so was there any way she could ask along the rows around if a different 3 people would mind moving as there were lots of gaps further down the plane but she said no, they'd updated the computer system at the gate so there was no way round it. (This made me feel even worse as I immediately thought, oh god it's so they know who's in which seat if the plane crashes and people die!!). At this point the woman in the seat stood up and said "Look, can't you see that I have children?! Obviously we need these seats more than you!", I was a bit taken-aback but said that I'd actually paid for these seats and if she was really that worried why didn't she pre-book seats so that they were guaranteed seats next to each other. She said she didn't need to, why on earth should she pay extra when she had children, the airline had to seat them together anyway. Followed by large amounts of smugness and smirking.

The stewardess then started tutting, saying the captain would go mad if we missed the take-off slot so we just needed to get into our seats. Oh god. Our new seats. It was my worst nightmare. She led us to the two seats halfway down the plane right next to the large exit doors. No window, just a door to my right with multiple emergency signs (and a bloody key in it with a massive red label on it saying "REMOVE AFTER TAKE-OFF" which stayed in for the whole flight!! (I was too mortified to ask anyone if it should really still be in the lock during the flight!). No seats in front of us so I felt massively exposed (and no seat-back for my crash position!!!), just a big gap then the next row. (Couldn't fault the leg-room though!). Plus a weird gap to my right as the two seats were slightly off-set so the window seat behind me had a bit of a half-gap in front of it. Through this gap, every 10 minutes or so, came a small child belonging to the couple sitting behind us. But the gap was a bit tight so the little girl was grabbing onto my arm-rest/arm to haul herself through, stepping on our feet as she came cackling past and grabbing my DP's knee to fling herself round the corner back into her parents' row. After an hour of this I turned to the couple and said "I'm sorry to be a pain but it's actually really annoying, d'you mind stopping her doing this" and they just looked at me (through the 20 mini wine bottles) and said it was keeping her quiet and it was a long flight for a little child so no, they couldn't.

Arghhh!! Dreadful experience. I felt really exposed and really anxious for the whole flight. Just horrible.

On a final note, the stewardess delivered my DP's pre-booked/paid meal to our original seats and the bloody woman took it and ate it!! My DP enquired as to where his meal was and, after 10 mins of him explaining what had happened with the seats (different stewardess!) she said she'd taken his meal to the original seat and it was accepted! She agreed to bring him a meal, but it had to be the vegetarian option now as they'd run out of standard meals...I was sorely tempted to say something to the woman at the baggage travelator thingy at the other end but by that point I was a bit of a wreck and couldn't be arsed with anything other than a large glass of wine!! (And she was still throwing the smug smirks my way so I didn't want to give her the satisfaction of showing I was bothered...)

I emailed Monarch when we got home and received a template email back saying, basically, tough shit, read the small print, we have the right to move you, this woman had children!! Yep, sorry about the meal but it's easily done as meals are allocated to seat numbers, not names and we have the right to change your meal, that's on the small print too.

We had a lovely holiday but we're off again in October to Turkey, again with Monarch (limited airline choice for date/time from our airport) and I'm utterly paranoid that this may happen again. Wonder if I should email Monarch in advance....or am I just over-reacting and being unreasonable??!

(And finaaaaally! I was pretty upset at that woman. I like to think if that were me I'd at least acknowledge the unfairness of the situation and say to the stewardess to be fair she has pre-booked and paid extra for these seats and is a nervous flyer, couldn't you just ask along the rows if anyone else would be happy to change seats? Or AIBU??!)

I'm a pretty confident, happy-go-lucky person in real life, it's just flying that turns me into a nervous wreck....maybe I just need to grow a pair!!

OP posts:
Sizzlesthedog · 10/08/2013 20:04

YABU for flying with monarch. Worst ever flights were with them, rude stewards, broken toilets, told not to cross over into the other corridor during flight, after I had crossed over to use the working loo, so they left me stranded standing for an hour on a flight.

YANBU for being upset over the seating I too would be so upset after all the trouble you went to. When I saw it was with monarch I wasn't surprised, rude, rude, rude. Knew someone who was air hostess years ago and would work bank with them. She said they were rude years ago and not much has changed. Can you tweet about it? I don't myself but understand big companies don't like bad press.

ilovesooty · 10/08/2013 20:06

maja in that case I hope you arrive early for check in.

calopene · 10/08/2013 20:10

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

Flossiechops · 10/08/2013 20:10

I have had to stop flying as my fear of flying is unmanageable. I have done the virgin fear of flying course too and it made fuck all difference. The children issue aside op I would have had to of left the flight. It's a disgrace that Monarch allowed this to happen and makes a mockery of the entire pre-booking system. Op you have my sympathies and you are far braver than me for getting on that flight!

ilovesooty · 10/08/2013 20:15

OP you sound hopelessly entitled ! And way too tied up in yourself ...... The children needed to bé with their mother can you not understand that ! As to the child and the meal problems - woah .....white girl problems or what. Don't fly again unless you can hire a private jet

Entitled? She'd paid to prebook that seat and the mother ate her meal as well. And what the hell are "white girls' problems"?

littlemisswise · 10/08/2013 20:19

^ what ilovesooty said.

twilight3 · 10/08/2013 20:22

littlemiss, EJ, I'm flying with them tomorrow and chekced over and over due to these threads popping up a lot recently.

Thepowerof3 · 10/08/2013 20:23

I object strongly to 'white girl problems' fucking cheek

ilovesooty · 10/08/2013 20:24

Hope they come through with that promise twilight and you have a good flight.

twilight3 · 10/08/2013 20:24

I don't get how two children were seated by the emergency exit!!! OP, were the extra legroom seats you originally booked NOT emergency exits?

ilovesooty · 10/08/2013 20:25

I object strongly to 'white girl problems' fucking cheek

Agreed.

twilight3 · 10/08/2013 20:28

Good thing with EJ is that you HAVE to check in online and not at the airport, so everyone has their seat numbers before they arrive at the airport. They also make clear that they will not change the allocated seats unless deemed absolutely necessary by the crew for functional purposes.

LetsFaceTheMusicAndDance · 10/08/2013 20:35

I'm all agog to know wtaf 'white girl problems' actually are.Hmm What a strange turn of phrase.

littlemisswise · 10/08/2013 20:38

14.5.3 We will aim to seat families and groups who have not chosen to purchase pre-selected seats, together wherever possible, provided that they have all Booked on the same Booking, but this cannot be guaranteed. For safety reasons, passengers travelling with infants will only be permitted to pre-select certain seats.

That's all I can find on EJ T&C'S for seating families together.

You would have had a difficult job getting DS1 and his 14 friends to move on their recent EJ flight because they did pay to sit together.

twilight3 · 10/08/2013 20:54

once you go into the booking process jn your account and you book for children, they ask you for their ages. they explain that this is 'coz

twilight3 · 10/08/2013 20:55

i mean i wouldn't care to get anybody to move

JaquelineHyde · 10/08/2013 20:58

'white girl problems'

and what the fuck might they be?!

littlemisswise · 10/08/2013 21:00

Well you would have, twilight. 15 lads checked in online and paid to pre-book their seats 30 days before they flew. That was the earliest they could do it and it was important to them to all sit together.

Why should they move?

candycoatedwaterdrops · 10/08/2013 21:02

I knew I'd get flamed for my comment and I don't care. So many people on here think their child is clearly so precious (which I'm sure they are to YOU) but are too stingy to pay extra, so not that precious, eh?!

twilight3 · 10/08/2013 21:09

and i checked in and got seats I'm happy with, why should i move? i don't understand your argument. i'm not jumping on the plane and demand that people move because i have children. i was assured that i don't have to pay to sit with my children, i was given seat next to them, what's the problem?

FreeWee · 10/08/2013 21:13

Surely the solution is to allocate on booking and either give it free or include it in everyone's fares? But then airlines wouldn't be able to 'add it on' to low headline fares. My DH is a nervous flyer so we prebook. We have a DD but I'd need to sit with both of them as she's under 16 and he needs me for reassurance. If we were moved from prebooked seats I would go absolutely spare. Would asking to be offloaded perhaps help in this situation as presumably it would take longer to remove the OP's bags than to reshuffle people?

ThePlatypusAlwaysTriumphs · 10/08/2013 21:15

OP- YANBU. WE've just flown to and from Lanzarote with Ryanair, and we didn't pre-book seats/ pay for priority, mainly because we were 3 adults and 3 children, and we figured we could get at least a couple of seats near each other. We were (as a group of 6) split up on both flights (its a free for all when you get on the plane- good idea to get near the front of the queue!), but each child had an adult near them- 2 girls (8 and 9) were in the row in front of me, I was sitting with ds (5)behind them, and my dad and DH were at the end of the rows adjacent. I wouldn't have dreamt of asking someone to move, and the stewards didn't seem at all concerned about the situation. We spoke to the man sat next to the girls, and asked him to tell us if they were giving him any trouble. No huge drama. On the way back, DH and I managed to get seats with ds, while dad sat with the two girls 10 rows in front, again no drama.

It's inconcievable to me that they could charge you extra to pre-book, then not honour that. It wouldn't have occurred to me to make a fuss. maybe if the kids had had to be all sat separately around the plane I might have had a worried word with the steward, but if someone had pointedly pre-booked those seats, i would have been hugely apologetic- surely there were other seats together that hadn't been pre-booked. really really bad management by the airline.

amothersplaceisinthewrong · 10/08/2013 21:19

Stop flying, OP, you are not cut out for it.

littlemisswise · 10/08/2013 21:20

I am referring to your post up there ^^ where you said you were entitled to sit with your children and you weren't going to pay for it.

So if you had have checked in and couldn't have sat with your DC why should people, like my DS and his mates, who had paid for their seats have to move to accommodate you?

twilight3 · 10/08/2013 21:28

please read my message again. i said I'm entitled to it based on the airline's rules, not because I simply think I should be (hence the mention of free healthcare etc.).
i would have resolved the situation before i got to the airport. if the airline didn't have such a policy i would pay. I'm relying on rules, not sympathy.
if you find the rule problematic surely you should take it up with the company, not the passengers.