To ask you to tell me the worst/most ridiculous aibu that you can come up with?

[FrussoHathor]

Hit me with your worst/most ridiculous/most likely to start a bun fight AIBU opening post.

Rules are:

1. it has to be your own idea, so no using current threads
2. no troll paraphernalia - mn rules.
3. keep it light hearted. This is just for fun, because i'm bored and because you know there's a part of you that would just love to write it for real to see what reaction you'd get. But wouldn't because you're sensible and wouldn't want to annoy mnhq.
4. I don't want the responses, just the opening post.

A virtual in it for the winner.

ooh this sounds dun. I'll have to get my thinking cap on.

fun.

am I being unreasonable to be sat here fuming because dh hasn't made my dinner yet. caveat - the only thing stopping me going to the kitchen is my laziness

AIBU to feel aggrieved that nothing has been done today because I've spent all day on AIBU?

Aibu to be pissed off that friends and family haven't been in touch to see how I'm dealing with my miscarriage? I hadn't even told them I was pregnant and we're not in touch that often, but they should somehow know anyway.

Aibu to get my babies ears pierced whilst letting them have a Gregg's sausage roll and Fruit shoot and pay with my benefit money?

AIBU to park in a disabled space in order to feed my 1 month old GC chocolate buttons? I need to b

I'm guessing troll paraphernalia is goats, bridges etc?

I need to bond with my GC and my DIL won't let me feed them as she is BF so I've sneaked into Tesco car park.

AIBU to think breastfeeding after 6 months is foul?

That was second half of message, as posted too soon.

Aibu for thinking other people's children are ugly and snotty whereas mine are just beautiful?

Industrial strength nail clippers and wart cream. Veet for the hairy knuckles.

Yes littlemiss

Aibu to tell dmil that fake fruit shoots are vile and she should give my ds the real thing?

Aibu that I can balance my ashtray on top of my baby's bottle (which is filled with coke) as it's raining outside and I don't want my fag to get wet?

I am MASSIVELY joking btw

Aibu to eat 6 tunnocks tea cakes. Oops.

AIBU to not invite anyone of my close friends/family or their kids to my massive expensive wedding.

Trucks, the sounds like it could be real...

AIBU to think that 80% of the posts on MN are bullshit?

AIBU to want an e-cig even though I don't smoke, but just fancy a go at the nicotine rush?

AIBU to think that mumsnet is full of judgemental, self righteous and opinionated idiots when they don't agree with me

Cakebaker yanbu

AIBU to post the photo of DH posing in tighty whiteys on his facebook if he comes in drunk he's already late after promising not to tonight?