To ask you to tell me the worst/most ridiculous aibu that you can come up with?

[FrussoHathor]

Hit me with your worst/most ridiculous/most likely to start a bun fight AIBU opening post.

Rules are:

1. it has to be your own idea, so no using current threads
2. no troll paraphernalia - mn rules.
3. keep it light hearted. This is just for fun, because i'm bored and because you know there's a part of you that would just love to write it for real to see what reaction you'd get. But wouldn't because you're sensible and wouldn't want to annoy mnhq.
4. I don't want the responses, just the opening post.

A virtual in it for the winner.

AIBU that my DH wipes round the kitchen in a manner that can only be described as "one cheek short of half arsed" and never, repeat NEVER in our 28 years of marriage has he CLEANED THE HOB!!!

AIBU about DS's curfew. He knows that I want him home by 9pm if he has school the next day but he's getting very friendly with another of the teachers and wants to take her to see a film which doesn't finish till about 9 so won't be back till about half past