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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

to think this child is too old to be exposing himself?

999 replies

JenniBoo · 05/08/2013 15:08

Bit of a back story... was delighted when a young family bought the house next door. After the previous elderly couple (who would complain about noise and balls going over the wall etc.,) I thought another young family would be a breath of fresh air and that their boys (8, 5 and 3) would play with my daughters (3yrs and 3 mths).

The first hint that they were not our sort of people became apparent almost immediately. They are both heavy smokers - they must smoke at least a pack a day - but instead of doing it in their house, they (and their friends) congregate on the porch- the smell wafts across into our garden and through the kitchen window. One day it was so bad, you could smell it in my baby's bedroom on the floor above! I asked them politely if they would mind smoking indoors or at the end of their garden - but they were completely unapologetic and said they couldn't do that because in the house if might affect THEIR children - and that at the end of the garden, they would get wet!

She seems to let her kids run wild - she is never in the garden with them, and the noise is something else. The other day I had to complain because they were throwing stones at each other - one flew across into our garden narrowly missing my baby, who was sleeping in the pram. I went across to complain but the mother couldn't have cared less. She lined them up and made them apologize, but she was all "boys will be boys" and you could tell she wasn't really sorry.

Today has been the final straw though. I came out to find both the younger boys exposing themselves to my older daughter. They had climbed onto their trampoline and were waving them at her. The older boy was there too, but was just laughing. I went round to the mother and told her. . The other mother told me I was "being stupid" and that "they are just little boys" and that I should "get over myself".

I don't think a 5 year old should be getting his willy out in public. Surely if he did that in the class at school he would be in huge trouble? Am I being unreasonable?

OP posts:
VinegarTits · 05/08/2013 16:50

the smoking thing would get on my tits (but i would just close my windows)

the throwing stones thing would get on my tits (her apology would have been good enough for me)

and ok yeah the willy waving would too (i wouldnt let any of my boys do it at any age, but i would just ignore or put up a bigger fence)

but you did yourself no favours with the 'not my kind of people' it got some backs up and you dont sound very tolerant of people who are different to you, you should maybe think about moving to the country? miles away from any neighbours, or people.

PiratePanda · 05/08/2013 16:52

Maryz are you for real Hmm

frogwatcher42 · 05/08/2013 16:54

I think realistically, the problem is the op has been judgemental and got peoples backs up.

Another day, another time, I truly believe that a lot of the responses would be different.

Anyway - I am off as it makes me sad this thread. I am just so grateful that I have lovely neighbours and don't have to smell somebody elses smoke in my house or garden (my neighbours even have bonfires at night or when the wind is blowing away from the houses so we don't have to smell it and that is about once or twice a year!!!).

Oblomov · 05/08/2013 16:54

My mouth fell open, when I read Piglet and Pag suggesting 101 Shock

Our garden, aswell as every other garden in our neighbourhood, has 6ft wooden fences , which gives total privacy.
No one can see my boys, whether they are bouncing on the trampoline , or running around naked.
They only 'exposed' themselvs to Op's dd, because Op's definition of a 'high fence' is not the same as mine.
Sort a decent fence out, and you won't have this problem.

bearleftmonkeyright · 05/08/2013 16:54

Maryz is leg pulling. God knows this thread needs some humour.

ChippingInHopHopHop · 05/08/2013 16:54

PiratePanda try reading the thread.

Maryz · 05/08/2013 16:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DioneTheDiabolist · 05/08/2013 16:56

OP you are being very unreasonable and if you continue, you will make yourself very angry and your DDs very anxious.

Stop this madness now.

Maryz · 05/08/2013 16:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Oblomov · 05/08/2013 16:56

Mind you, smelling someone's fag smoke, is RANK.

2468BONJOVI · 05/08/2013 16:57

Those children sound like nasty little shits. Now you are going to be all "aaaaaaah how can you say that they are only little boys", but they do. If they were my friend's kids, I would smile at them and be nice to them when with my friend and never ever ever invite them round. I don't blame the op for being pissed off that she is stuck with them next door.

TweedWasSoLastYear · 05/08/2013 16:58

I think you might want to look into planting some Cupressocyparis Leylandii in the near future.
Get a 1.8m fence and plant the Leylandii on your side , when they grow they can be trimmed so they fill out and become more dense.
As for the willy waving , pray for rain and get DD a big fuck off super soaker

Maryz · 05/08/2013 16:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ouryve · 05/08/2013 16:58

So, you would rather the neighbours smoked inside their house so their kids were fully exposed to the smoke than in their garden, where you can smell it a bit, in your house? Close your windows, if someone smoking on their own property bothers you that much..

A 5 year old exposing their willy is inappropriate behaviour, but I doubt the intentions are any more than rude toilet humour

Heartbrokenmum73 · 05/08/2013 16:59

I live in a terraced house and regularly murder my neighbours. How dare anyone have the temerity to move in next door to me then not even attempt to live by my standards and be 'my kind of people'!! Downright rude and not trying if you ask me...

livinginwonderland · 05/08/2013 16:59

Little shits? Hmm

They're three and five for god's sake.

bearleftmonkeyright · 05/08/2013 16:59

I still think pags suggestion that the op should grow an enormous bush is the best. Fast growing and wiry.

HeySoulSister · 05/08/2013 16:59

Why are they? Labelled a nasty little shit at 3?

JerseySpud · 05/08/2013 17:01

Its their house. Would you be happy if next door complained because your daughter was, say, naked in the paddling pool? Or you had friends round making noise.

You come accross as totally precious. And thats coming from the mother of two girls age 6 and 2

FrussoHathor · 05/08/2013 17:03

Based upon the title of this thread, the smoking is irrelevant.
It's put in so that the OP can set the scene, and have us say that she is NBU.

Where as the point that is being missed is OP has a problem with a 5yo boy and a 3yo toddler getting their penis' out in their own back garden. possibly with the intention of shocking OPs dd, or possibly because they like waving then about.

To which I would say OP is BU, totally normal behaviour from little boys. The 3yo doesn't know any better and the 5yo is at the "I'll show you mine" stage.

PiratePanda · 05/08/2013 17:03

Sorry Maryz. I have read the whole thread, and commented more than once - mixed you up with someone else :)

curlew · 05/08/2013 17:03

It can't be real- she said "have someone"'s eye out". Nobody says that in real life!

And did somebody really suggest dialling 101 about a 5 year old wiggling his willy about? Really?

MammaTJ · 05/08/2013 17:04

Another AIBU, where the OP asks 'AIBU?' to then be told she is and to say 'You're all wrong'.

Why bother if you are so sure you are right? Oh, I know, you wanted to be made to feel even more superioir by us joining you in vilifying your neighbour.

PiratePanda · 05/08/2013 17:04

I know we're not allowed to troll hunt, but are we allowed to sock puppet hunt?

Maryz · 05/08/2013 17:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.